YOU'RE ALL FAGGOTS
Back in the time before years, a great space dragon existed known as Tuten'arak, seeking only to destroy the planet Earth. At his whim, the seas boiled and washed over the land. Volcanoes erupted! The super-continent, Pangaea, rifted and separated to form the modern world as we now know it.
It was then that Sarah Vaughan traveled back riding Miles Davis' mighty space trumpet and seduced the ferocious star beast with her sultry baritone lows. They made sweet, sweet love beneath the stars, nestled in the young, ripe bosom of Mother Earth, to "That Old Black Magic.". This lasted for forty fucking days.
It was then that the raging beast within her womb could not be contained, and her mortal form boiled and bubbled, and the majestic creature burst forth with the righteousness of a fucking unicorn playing a Stratocaster surfing a goddamn rainbow. Wearing Wayfarers.
Too weird for the future, but too magnificent for the past, his huge dong rocketed him through the cosmos, bending the fabric of time and space, and collided in a Boston field, October 18th, 1986, where he was found by a farmer and his wife. He murdered them, though, and absorbed their foul essence. Then his real parents found him. Does Boston even have fields? I don't even fucking know. It did back then. Fuck you.
Rejoice and pay tribute, mortals, for this is the day of Casey Brefka, The Donginator.
It was then that Sarah Vaughan traveled back riding Miles Davis' mighty space trumpet and seduced the ferocious star beast with her sultry baritone lows. They made sweet, sweet love beneath the stars, nestled in the young, ripe bosom of Mother Earth, to "That Old Black Magic.". This lasted for forty fucking days.
It was then that the raging beast within her womb could not be contained, and her mortal form boiled and bubbled, and the majestic creature burst forth with the righteousness of a fucking unicorn playing a Stratocaster surfing a goddamn rainbow. Wearing Wayfarers.
Too weird for the future, but too magnificent for the past, his huge dong rocketed him through the cosmos, bending the fabric of time and space, and collided in a Boston field, October 18th, 1986, where he was found by a farmer and his wife. He murdered them, though, and absorbed their foul essence. Then his real parents found him. Does Boston even have fields? I don't even fucking know. It did back then. Fuck you.
Rejoice and pay tribute, mortals, for this is the day of Casey Brefka, The Donginator.