One night after doing some acid and smokin' some peyote with his native american buddy, Tensquatawa, Jiraiya woke up a week later in his bathtub and found out that he was legally dead. Funeral service and EVERYTHING. He decided not to fix this in order to evade the federal government and years of delinquent taxes. During this reinvention of himself, he came to the conclusion that he was now capable of living purely through the act of Photosynthesis, until he found out that the bacteria and algae capable of this feat were asexual organisms, which he then immediately dismissed cause "there ain't nothin' asexual about him." He went out to reaffirm his virility and got punched out by a stripper named Lexus after he told her that he'd had a ride in her before and she had a shitty clutch and just ended up stalling out on him.
Under various pseudonyms his books continue to sell very well, especially after the introduction of the loud mouth retard and his borderline midget girlfriend, who continue to be series regulars. Out of the kindness of his heart, he decides to give a portion of the royalties to Ichigo, until Ichigo finds his bank statement filled with various overseas pornographic charges. Ichigo is also banned from calling phone sex hotlines anywhere within the state lines and for some reason he's not allowed into Canada anymore. How he found this out is uncertain.
He also never got to bang Tsunade, who still has a rockin' rack.
Under various pseudonyms his books continue to sell very well, especially after the introduction of the loud mouth retard and his borderline midget girlfriend, who continue to be series regulars. Out of the kindness of his heart, he decides to give a portion of the royalties to Ichigo, until Ichigo finds his bank statement filled with various overseas pornographic charges. Ichigo is also banned from calling phone sex hotlines anywhere within the state lines and for some reason he's not allowed into Canada anymore. How he found this out is uncertain.
He also never got to bang Tsunade, who still has a rockin' rack.
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