AU- Time Heals All Things 1/?
Title: AU- Time Reveals All Things
Rating: PG-13 for now, NC-17 later
Pairing: Andy/Nate, Andy/Miranda, Emily/Serena, Lily/OC (Aurora Westin)
Summary: AU- Miranda has spent her life in the closet in order to ensure her professional success. Now a series of events forces her relationship with Andrea out into the open. Will their relationship be able to survive the fallout?
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these characters are not my own. However, Dr. Aurora Westin is mine. This is my first fic and I had no beta. I did proof-read this several times, but it's possible that it's still not flowing as I would like it to. Anyhow, if anyone does wish for me to continue this story, I do have an epic fic planned for this, which will hopefully allow me to further develop my writing style.
Please let me know if you like it or you think I should continue this. Or if I should just stop while I'm ahead. LOL.
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December 17, 2008December 17, 2008
2100 EST
Shock Trauma, Baltimore, MD, USA
‘Where is that annoying beeping sound coming from’ she thought, ‘and why is it so dark in here?’
“Annie....” she started to mutter before white-hot pain shot through her system forcing her body to arch up in agony.
“Annie.... gahh… p- p- please……” she tried to whisper again, fighting against the obstruction in her throat, before a soft cool voice encouraged her to stop struggling.
“ Hush, Cassidy. You’re all right.” The cool voice stole over her pained body like a soothing caress.
Cassidy then felt cool and callused hands stroking her forehead and felt a warm breath by her ear.
“ You’re safe now, Cassidy. My name is Dr. Cooper. You were in an accident with your little sister and you were both injured. You’re little sister is all right. She received a few scratches and she has a bump on her head. Thanks to your quick thinking when you covered her with your own body, she will be just fine.”
He then took a deep breath to prepare himself for the rest of what he needed to say. Before he could utter a single word, Cassidy interrupted him with a wail, and began to choke as she struggled to grab her throat.
“I c-c- can’t… ahhhhhh…..” she desperately tried to scream, her hands swinging wild in panic.
All she could feel was this insistent violent pain deep inside and it was getting worse. Everything ached, and she couldn’t see. She couldn’t speak and there was this horrible pressure in her chest. And with that one thought, she wondered if she was dying.
‘ Is this it? Am I dying?’ she wanted to ask, but she could not force the words past her lips. With renewed strength, born of desperation, she tried to fight it away. She would not give in.
“Please, you need to calm down. Please do not move. We are here to help you; we will not hurt you. We placed a tube in your throat to help you breathe.” Looking up, Dr. Nate Cooper immediately gestured a nurse over to hold Cassidy’s hands, and indicated that she should speak with her.
As the nurse bent her head and spoke with the panicking girl, Nate Cooper immediately started barking orders.
“Where the hell are those techs?!” he yelled at one nurse, who immediately scrambled to phone radiology. “I need a cross chest x-ray NOW!”
To another nurse, he shouted “Who’s on call with plastics?” In a much lower voice, he said “We need the absolute best in this OR right now. Get me an orthopedics consult immediately. People why are you standing around looking at me? MOVE!”
With that, everyone immediately scurried around trying not to think of what was coming next.
As the nurse insistently spoke with the young girl, Nate efficiently and quickly moved his hands along the girl’s head, torso, and extremities checking for other injuries.
“What are her blood gases?” he asked calmly without pausing his actions.
“Eighty-six percent and falling,” a nurse called back, as she willed her shaking hands to steady.
As the girls clothes were cut away exposing more of her obvious injuries, there was an almost audible collective gasp. It seemed that not one inch of the poor girl’s flesh had been spared.
“Did anyone get the plate of that driver? What a bastard! To do this and then leave?! Someone ought to-“
“Nurse, you will calm yourself immediately. That is none of your concern. The patient should be your sole focus.” Nate ground out between his clenched teeth. He wanted to scream in rage. This young girl was lying near death, bleeding out in front of strangers in a hospital, because some whack-job decided to treat her body like a duckpin. What made the situation infinitely worse was that his patient was none other than their dear hospital director’s child. He suddenly began to sweat with the knowledge that this was not going to go well. For whom, he could not say.
“Does someone have those damned x-rays yet? And please tell me that one of you has managed to contact her mother?” For perhaps the umpteenth time in his long lackluster career, he wondered why he decided on medicine. Surely, being a professional chef or a school teacher would have been better.
“ We have the director on line one.”
Nate immediately hustled over to the phone and taking a deep breath, barked out “Miranda, Cassidy is severely injured. Annie’s okay. You need to get over here ASAP. We’re in Trauma 2,” then brazenly hung up the phone. He quickly moved back to his patient’s side calling for a status report.
“She’s got a transverse fracture of the right ulna, as well as a dislocation of her right shoulder, four broken ribs along her right side, a compound fracture of her left femur, and numerous tib-fib breaks on her left side.” Dr. Lily, the orthopedist, immediately said as she hustled into the room breathlessly. “Sorry, it took me so long, Nate. I got here as soon as I heard.”
“She may have internal bleeding. Her crit count is low, too. Have they-“
“They’re typing and crossing her blood right now.”
Nate immediately, bent forward with his stethoscope listening to her breath sounds.
“Shit, her breath sounds are almost completely diminished on her right side; she’s got a tension pneumothorax. Get me a chest tube set, stat. And get me a syringe with 1% lidocaine. You-“ he pointed at the experienced medic, “help Nurse Henkle get her out of portable traction and put her in our device. And do not, I repeat, DO NOT let go of that leg.”
As the lidocaine was handed to him, he calmly looked down at Cassidy whose arms held the adjacent nurse in a death grip. He calmly and slowly spoke to her explaining what he was doing to her as he quickly injected the local anesthetic. He motioned for another nurse to hold Cassidy’s arms in place, as the other nurse kept whispering to Cassidy trying to calm her.
“Which meds does she have on board?” he asked as he once again assessed her breath sounds.
“The medics gave her four of morphine for the pain,” Nurse Henkle spoke up, as she clamped the traction splint’s caribiner through the ankle loop.
“What?! Why four!? Nevermind. I want you to push six of morphine, and sedate her with five of Diazepam.”
“Cassidy, this will hurt you, I’m sorry. But this will make it easier for you to breathe and this will make your chest stop hurting. Please, stay with us, honey. We have you, okay?” and as he found the border of her pectoralis muscle in her chest, he swiftly made a neat incision over her rib.
“Hand me the mayo clamp,” he said, holding his palm out. Once it was placed in his hand, he rotated his neck from side to side and took a deep breath. Then as he slowly released his breath, he inserted the clamp into the incision using slow steady pressure until he felt the pleural lining give way.
He immediately heard muffled screaming from the table and felt the body below his hands shaking, desperately trying to move away from him.
“I’m so sorry, Cassidy. So sorry……” he whispered as he slowly opened the clamp, then steadily inserted the chest tube into the incision in her chest as Nurse Morris connected the end of the tube to the wall suction unit in order to relieve the steadily increasing pressure. Nate then sutured the tube in place and covered the incision with gauze.
“Time?!” he yelled, hoping and praying that they could rush her to the OR already.
“ Fourteen minutes and counting,” replied another nurse.
“ Distal pulses are strong and her arm and leg have good PMS. You guys don’t need me here right now. I’ll go out and wait for Miranda, let her know what’s going on.” Dr. Lily said with a worried glance at Cassidy.
Nate distractedly murmured his agreement and went back to his internal litany of ‘oh fuck..oh fuck.. oh fuck..’ as he once again assessed his patient.
Nurse Morris then assessed the IV in Cassidy’s arm and adjusted the flow. As she was doing so, the blood arrived from the lab. She checked the labels with another nurse to confirm the type and cross match. With practiced ease, she hung the bag and trailed it across the other lines hooking it up to the IV line.
She then calmly murmured,“Doctor, her O2 level is at 93% and rising.”
With a sigh of relief, he smoothed his hand over the undamaged portion of Cassidy’s face, whispering, “You’re gonna be all right, Cass. Your mother will be here soon.”
_______________________________________
Miranda could not remember a time in her life when she had ever felt so terrified. She didn’t even know what to do. For five minutes, exactly, she sat at her desk with her eyes fixed on their most recent family photograph. Everything was so perfect. They were so happy. And it was only one year ago. She allowed her mind to drift back to a much easier time.
Flashback
December 11th, 2007
1830 EST
Martha’s Vineyard, Cape Cod, MA, USA
As a family, they had decided on spending a much-needed vacation in Martha’s Vineyard in a quaint beach-front cottage because the girls had wanted to go “camping.” The three-bedroom, two-bathroom cottage had sorely tested her camping abilities, but with minimal grumbling, and a few nights spent away from the girls in a five-star hotel, she had managed to cling to her sanity.
On the last day of their stay, they had gone to a clambake on a neighboring property that was being held by another vacationing family. The day had been perfect. The sky was a lovely cornflower blue, dotted with huge puffy cumulus clouds that looked as soft and appealing as cotton candy. The water was choppy and the air was brisk bringing healthy color to their cheeks. There was an almost constant light breeze that tickled their noses, and all of their other senses, with the scent and sounds of the ocean.
Andrea and her girls had agreed to meet them there on the beach, and upon arriving, immediately told them how New England they all looked. Now that she thought about it, they had blended in. Everyone wore their Hilfiger Khakis with Lacoste polo shirts in shades of salmon and pretty boy pink, leather Sperry topsiders in hand, as their light cashmere sweaters were gracefully and casually draped across their shoulders. New England casual, indeed.
Then as Miranda gazed at Andrea, she found her thoughts grinding to a halt only to slowly stutter and resume at a frenzied pace. Somehow, Andrea had decided to channel Betty Page by looking like a vintage chic pinup girl fantasy. She wore a fire engine red pair of 1960s hip hugger pedal pushers, a Thierry Mugler red and white polka dotted sleeveless wrap blouse, with matching red hoop gypsy earrings, matching red lipstick, and oh so sexy matching red patent leather open-toed mules with a four inch heel. To top off the look, she had a matching polka-dotted head scarf and fantastic 1950’s red glam girl cateye sunglasses. After gazing lustfully at Andrea for some time, Miranda realized that she was getting some curious looks from some of her guests and discretely rubbed the edges of her mouth to ensure that she was not drooling, then simultaneously gave them her patented glare which gave her own residents palpitations.
It was enough to make the gawkers blush, stammer, and streak away from her immediate vicinity. Andrea chuckled, amused at Miranda’s antics, and approached her for a quick air kiss to both cheeks. With twinkling eyes and a mischievous grin, she said, “You look divine as always, Miranda. I missed you and the girls so much. But I’m sure you’ll make it up to me later tonight.” And with a wink, and hips swinging like a pendulum, Andrea strolled away. Then with a quick look over her shoulder, she sent a quick air kiss Miranda’s way, before resuming her stroll to chat with some of the other guests.
‘Cheeky girl,’ Miranda thought with no little amusement. She couldn’t wait to get Andrea alone. She definitely had a lot of making up to do. After all, it was because of her that they were almost never able to spend any vacation time together. But Andrea, had been pretty understanding of it all, and seemed to deal with it pretty well- something none of her ex-husbands could claim.
Miranda calmly looked around her and realized that there really was no one other than Andrea and their girls that she wanted to speak with. She looked over at the girls who were playing at the edge of the water. Andrea’s young twin girls, Annabelle and Magdalene, were playing keep-away with Andrea’s older daughter, Liesbeth. The girls were all shrieking with glee as Liesbeth almost caught their Frisbee. Before long, Miranda’s two girls, Cassidy and Caroline, had joined in on the play, which then turned into a game of who could splash the other the most. It didn’t seem like anyone was winning that game as everyone involved was soaked within the first two minutes.
Miranda wanted to join the play with every fiber of her being, but she couldn’t bring herself to mingle with the girls, so she kept her distance. Andrea had no such qualms, however. She eventually grew bored with all of the pointless chatter and joined the kids in their play. Miranda noticed that several other people were gazing at Andrea and her family with affection and some yearning, perhaps wishing that they could join in on the play as well. As Andrea’s delighted giggle drifted her way, Miranda clenched her teeth and with remorse in her heart, she walked away to speak with a Neurosurgeon she had been looking to collaborate with.
Hours later, everyone found themselves sitting on makeshift driftwood benches around a towering bonfire, leaning on each other’s shoulders. Some couples were cuddling each other; just holding on and whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears like truant teenagers. Miranda’s gaze fell on Andy who was staring at an older lesbian couple with a wistful expression. The older couple, Laura and Margaret, were fixtures at the Vineyard and had been together for the better part of five decades, through unimaginable adversity. Yet, here they were openly celebrating the fact that they made it. Although she couldn’t explain why exactly, seeing them always made Miranda incredibly nervous and insecure.
As she focused her attention back on Andrea, she watched unbearably sad, as a lone tear trailed down Andrea’s pale right cheek. She wanted to just wrap her in her arms and tell her how much she loved her and cherished her. She wanted to say ‘to hell with the world and what they may think of us’ and just live their lives free of certain cares. But it wasn’t in her nature and she could not and would not be that person, not even for Andrea. She gave a dramatic sigh and noticed Andrea’s head whip towards her with a frightened expression. Miranda found herself completely flummoxed by these signals she was getting from Andrea. But just as quickly as these looks appeared, they immediately disappeared and Andrea would smile as though nothing was amiss. But now, Miranda knew better, and she would make Andrea discuss this as soon as it was more convenient. Letting her attention drift once more, her eyes focused on the girls.
Cassiy, Caroline, and Liesbeth were talking to some of the older kids to their left as Annabelle and Magdalene listened to some other kids on their right who were telling them old scary campfire stories. Miranda and Andy finally had some time to themselves where they could chat in semi-privacy. Without touching each other, they managed to convey their sincere affection through long-loving gazes.
“Word on the grapevine is that you’re a shoe-In for that $22 million NIH grant for your new study on synthetic bioepithelial polymers. Miranda, I’m so proud of you, sweetheart” whispered Andrea as she gazed at Miranda with adoring love-filled eyes.
Miranda chuckled warmly and said “Hmmm.. who told you that? Well, never mind that. I almost can’t believe it myself. I’m just one step closer to….. well, you know. So many years of such hard work and sacrifice, and I’ve almost reached the pinnacle of my every dream and ambition.”
“Not all of them, Miranda, just the major professional ones at least. I believe we still have a few more personal goals to reach starting with-“
“Andrea, not now,” Miranda interrupted, “Please, not now, not here. You know why we can’t… you know,” Miranda finished feeling saddened by the disappointed and hurt look that briefly passed over Andrea’s face before she managed to hide it. Again, she wanted to pressure Andrea to tell her about these mixed signals that she was sending out, but fear of Andrea’s response squelched that urge.
“It’s okay, Miranda. I know. We’ve made it this far, right? Let’s just get out of here for a bit, okay? Can I just have you to myself forone night?” she whispered, imploring Miranda with her chocolate-brown eyes. Miranda suddenly felt electrified by that look and wanted to hastily get out and go home.
The girls all looked exhausted however, and with great reluctance, got up to leave when Miranda decided that it was time for them to take their leave. Andrea’s two little twins adorably rubbed their eyes and blearily blinked at Miranda and Andrea, barely able to stand. Finally, with a shared look of amusement and love, Miranda and Andy each reached for one of the little girls to carry them home in their arms.
As they all walked back to the cottage, with the older girls walking several steps ahead of their parents eagerly discussing their day, Miranda moved closer to Andrea’s side and nuzzled her ear, causing Andrea to momentarily stumble and shoot Miranda her “You just wait until I get you home” glare.
Miranda only smirked then said “I wanted tonight to be very special. Please meet me at our special cove on West Barnstable. You remember where we-“ and with those words, Miranda immediately blushed and stammered unable to finish the sentence, hoping that the darkness could hide most of her reaction.
“Well, you know where I am speaking of, Andrea. Please meet me there wearing that lovely long black sheer silk high-necked evening Chanel gown that brings out your inner goddess. Will you wear that for me, Andy?” Miranda finished with a sudden bout of insecurity. Andrea was gazing at her with a look she couldn’t even begin to decipher.
After a noticeable pause, Andrea turned to look at Miranda and replied “Sure, Miranda. I’d do anything for you. You know I would,” and she continued to walk eyes forward.
Miranda didn’t know what to think. If she didn’t know any better, she would say that Andrea had sounded almost bitter with that last statement. Andrea wasn’t giving her the reaction she had hoped for at all and she found herself wondering what this meant for them- both now and in the long-run.
‘Don’t even start down that path, Miranda-dear. Just give her your best and try to make up for everything else later,’ she thought to herself in a voice that sounded eerily like her mother’s. But there lay the root of her problem. She was not giving Andrea her best. She never had. She’d always given most of her time and attention to her precious hospital and her research, and then whatever was left over first went to her kids, and then to Andrea. Perhaps Andrea was reaching her limit with this relationship. ‘But why now?’ she puzzled.
After a few more moments of silence, Andrea cleared her throat and with a soft sigh said, “I’m sorry, Miranda. I am very much looking forward to our time tonight. And I’m sorry if I did not manage to adequately convey that before. I’m just a little tired.” Then she looked at Miranda and gave her a tired smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Miranda could tell that something was obviously wrong, but it was clear that Andrea was not going to speak about it that night. So, with an inaudible sigh, she forced some cheer into her voice, smiled at Andrea saying “It’s okay, Andrea. I understand.” Looking deeply into her eyes, she tried to reassure the younger woman, who in turn gave her a lopsided grin and kept walking humming to herself.
There was something so deeply sad and troubling about the tune of the song that she was humming, but Miranda couldn’t place it. She knew that she ought to know the tune, but it was eluding her at the moment. She knew, however, that the tone of that tune didn’t bode well for them that night.
‘I just need more time, and this will all be so much easier. Please, I just need more time,’ Miranda frantically sent up this unspoken and desperate prayer. She vowed to give Andrea a memorable night, and to start giving Andrea more reasons to remain in this relationship.
Rating: PG-13 for now, NC-17 later
Pairing: Andy/Nate, Andy/Miranda, Emily/Serena, Lily/OC (Aurora Westin)
Summary: AU- Miranda has spent her life in the closet in order to ensure her professional success. Now a series of events forces her relationship with Andrea out into the open. Will their relationship be able to survive the fallout?
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these characters are not my own. However, Dr. Aurora Westin is mine. This is my first fic and I had no beta. I did proof-read this several times, but it's possible that it's still not flowing as I would like it to. Anyhow, if anyone does wish for me to continue this story, I do have an epic fic planned for this, which will hopefully allow me to further develop my writing style.
Please let me know if you like it or you think I should continue this. Or if I should just stop while I'm ahead. LOL.
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December 17, 2008December 17, 2008
2100 EST
Shock Trauma, Baltimore, MD, USA
‘Where is that annoying beeping sound coming from’ she thought, ‘and why is it so dark in here?’
“Annie....” she started to mutter before white-hot pain shot through her system forcing her body to arch up in agony.
“Annie.... gahh… p- p- please……” she tried to whisper again, fighting against the obstruction in her throat, before a soft cool voice encouraged her to stop struggling.
“ Hush, Cassidy. You’re all right.” The cool voice stole over her pained body like a soothing caress.
Cassidy then felt cool and callused hands stroking her forehead and felt a warm breath by her ear.
“ You’re safe now, Cassidy. My name is Dr. Cooper. You were in an accident with your little sister and you were both injured. You’re little sister is all right. She received a few scratches and she has a bump on her head. Thanks to your quick thinking when you covered her with your own body, she will be just fine.”
He then took a deep breath to prepare himself for the rest of what he needed to say. Before he could utter a single word, Cassidy interrupted him with a wail, and began to choke as she struggled to grab her throat.
“I c-c- can’t… ahhhhhh…..” she desperately tried to scream, her hands swinging wild in panic.
All she could feel was this insistent violent pain deep inside and it was getting worse. Everything ached, and she couldn’t see. She couldn’t speak and there was this horrible pressure in her chest. And with that one thought, she wondered if she was dying.
‘ Is this it? Am I dying?’ she wanted to ask, but she could not force the words past her lips. With renewed strength, born of desperation, she tried to fight it away. She would not give in.
“Please, you need to calm down. Please do not move. We are here to help you; we will not hurt you. We placed a tube in your throat to help you breathe.” Looking up, Dr. Nate Cooper immediately gestured a nurse over to hold Cassidy’s hands, and indicated that she should speak with her.
As the nurse bent her head and spoke with the panicking girl, Nate Cooper immediately started barking orders.
“Where the hell are those techs?!” he yelled at one nurse, who immediately scrambled to phone radiology. “I need a cross chest x-ray NOW!”
To another nurse, he shouted “Who’s on call with plastics?” In a much lower voice, he said “We need the absolute best in this OR right now. Get me an orthopedics consult immediately. People why are you standing around looking at me? MOVE!”
With that, everyone immediately scurried around trying not to think of what was coming next.
As the nurse insistently spoke with the young girl, Nate efficiently and quickly moved his hands along the girl’s head, torso, and extremities checking for other injuries.
“What are her blood gases?” he asked calmly without pausing his actions.
“Eighty-six percent and falling,” a nurse called back, as she willed her shaking hands to steady.
As the girls clothes were cut away exposing more of her obvious injuries, there was an almost audible collective gasp. It seemed that not one inch of the poor girl’s flesh had been spared.
“Did anyone get the plate of that driver? What a bastard! To do this and then leave?! Someone ought to-“
“Nurse, you will calm yourself immediately. That is none of your concern. The patient should be your sole focus.” Nate ground out between his clenched teeth. He wanted to scream in rage. This young girl was lying near death, bleeding out in front of strangers in a hospital, because some whack-job decided to treat her body like a duckpin. What made the situation infinitely worse was that his patient was none other than their dear hospital director’s child. He suddenly began to sweat with the knowledge that this was not going to go well. For whom, he could not say.
“Does someone have those damned x-rays yet? And please tell me that one of you has managed to contact her mother?” For perhaps the umpteenth time in his long lackluster career, he wondered why he decided on medicine. Surely, being a professional chef or a school teacher would have been better.
“ We have the director on line one.”
Nate immediately hustled over to the phone and taking a deep breath, barked out “Miranda, Cassidy is severely injured. Annie’s okay. You need to get over here ASAP. We’re in Trauma 2,” then brazenly hung up the phone. He quickly moved back to his patient’s side calling for a status report.
“She’s got a transverse fracture of the right ulna, as well as a dislocation of her right shoulder, four broken ribs along her right side, a compound fracture of her left femur, and numerous tib-fib breaks on her left side.” Dr. Lily, the orthopedist, immediately said as she hustled into the room breathlessly. “Sorry, it took me so long, Nate. I got here as soon as I heard.”
“She may have internal bleeding. Her crit count is low, too. Have they-“
“They’re typing and crossing her blood right now.”
Nate immediately, bent forward with his stethoscope listening to her breath sounds.
“Shit, her breath sounds are almost completely diminished on her right side; she’s got a tension pneumothorax. Get me a chest tube set, stat. And get me a syringe with 1% lidocaine. You-“ he pointed at the experienced medic, “help Nurse Henkle get her out of portable traction and put her in our device. And do not, I repeat, DO NOT let go of that leg.”
As the lidocaine was handed to him, he calmly looked down at Cassidy whose arms held the adjacent nurse in a death grip. He calmly and slowly spoke to her explaining what he was doing to her as he quickly injected the local anesthetic. He motioned for another nurse to hold Cassidy’s arms in place, as the other nurse kept whispering to Cassidy trying to calm her.
“Which meds does she have on board?” he asked as he once again assessed her breath sounds.
“The medics gave her four of morphine for the pain,” Nurse Henkle spoke up, as she clamped the traction splint’s caribiner through the ankle loop.
“What?! Why four!? Nevermind. I want you to push six of morphine, and sedate her with five of Diazepam.”
“Cassidy, this will hurt you, I’m sorry. But this will make it easier for you to breathe and this will make your chest stop hurting. Please, stay with us, honey. We have you, okay?” and as he found the border of her pectoralis muscle in her chest, he swiftly made a neat incision over her rib.
“Hand me the mayo clamp,” he said, holding his palm out. Once it was placed in his hand, he rotated his neck from side to side and took a deep breath. Then as he slowly released his breath, he inserted the clamp into the incision using slow steady pressure until he felt the pleural lining give way.
He immediately heard muffled screaming from the table and felt the body below his hands shaking, desperately trying to move away from him.
“I’m so sorry, Cassidy. So sorry……” he whispered as he slowly opened the clamp, then steadily inserted the chest tube into the incision in her chest as Nurse Morris connected the end of the tube to the wall suction unit in order to relieve the steadily increasing pressure. Nate then sutured the tube in place and covered the incision with gauze.
“Time?!” he yelled, hoping and praying that they could rush her to the OR already.
“ Fourteen minutes and counting,” replied another nurse.
“ Distal pulses are strong and her arm and leg have good PMS. You guys don’t need me here right now. I’ll go out and wait for Miranda, let her know what’s going on.” Dr. Lily said with a worried glance at Cassidy.
Nate distractedly murmured his agreement and went back to his internal litany of ‘oh fuck..oh fuck.. oh fuck..’ as he once again assessed his patient.
Nurse Morris then assessed the IV in Cassidy’s arm and adjusted the flow. As she was doing so, the blood arrived from the lab. She checked the labels with another nurse to confirm the type and cross match. With practiced ease, she hung the bag and trailed it across the other lines hooking it up to the IV line.
She then calmly murmured,“Doctor, her O2 level is at 93% and rising.”
With a sigh of relief, he smoothed his hand over the undamaged portion of Cassidy’s face, whispering, “You’re gonna be all right, Cass. Your mother will be here soon.”
_______________________________________
Miranda could not remember a time in her life when she had ever felt so terrified. She didn’t even know what to do. For five minutes, exactly, she sat at her desk with her eyes fixed on their most recent family photograph. Everything was so perfect. They were so happy. And it was only one year ago. She allowed her mind to drift back to a much easier time.
Flashback
December 11th, 2007
1830 EST
Martha’s Vineyard, Cape Cod, MA, USA
As a family, they had decided on spending a much-needed vacation in Martha’s Vineyard in a quaint beach-front cottage because the girls had wanted to go “camping.” The three-bedroom, two-bathroom cottage had sorely tested her camping abilities, but with minimal grumbling, and a few nights spent away from the girls in a five-star hotel, she had managed to cling to her sanity.
On the last day of their stay, they had gone to a clambake on a neighboring property that was being held by another vacationing family. The day had been perfect. The sky was a lovely cornflower blue, dotted with huge puffy cumulus clouds that looked as soft and appealing as cotton candy. The water was choppy and the air was brisk bringing healthy color to their cheeks. There was an almost constant light breeze that tickled their noses, and all of their other senses, with the scent and sounds of the ocean.
Andrea and her girls had agreed to meet them there on the beach, and upon arriving, immediately told them how New England they all looked. Now that she thought about it, they had blended in. Everyone wore their Hilfiger Khakis with Lacoste polo shirts in shades of salmon and pretty boy pink, leather Sperry topsiders in hand, as their light cashmere sweaters were gracefully and casually draped across their shoulders. New England casual, indeed.
Then as Miranda gazed at Andrea, she found her thoughts grinding to a halt only to slowly stutter and resume at a frenzied pace. Somehow, Andrea had decided to channel Betty Page by looking like a vintage chic pinup girl fantasy. She wore a fire engine red pair of 1960s hip hugger pedal pushers, a Thierry Mugler red and white polka dotted sleeveless wrap blouse, with matching red hoop gypsy earrings, matching red lipstick, and oh so sexy matching red patent leather open-toed mules with a four inch heel. To top off the look, she had a matching polka-dotted head scarf and fantastic 1950’s red glam girl cateye sunglasses. After gazing lustfully at Andrea for some time, Miranda realized that she was getting some curious looks from some of her guests and discretely rubbed the edges of her mouth to ensure that she was not drooling, then simultaneously gave them her patented glare which gave her own residents palpitations.
It was enough to make the gawkers blush, stammer, and streak away from her immediate vicinity. Andrea chuckled, amused at Miranda’s antics, and approached her for a quick air kiss to both cheeks. With twinkling eyes and a mischievous grin, she said, “You look divine as always, Miranda. I missed you and the girls so much. But I’m sure you’ll make it up to me later tonight.” And with a wink, and hips swinging like a pendulum, Andrea strolled away. Then with a quick look over her shoulder, she sent a quick air kiss Miranda’s way, before resuming her stroll to chat with some of the other guests.
‘Cheeky girl,’ Miranda thought with no little amusement. She couldn’t wait to get Andrea alone. She definitely had a lot of making up to do. After all, it was because of her that they were almost never able to spend any vacation time together. But Andrea, had been pretty understanding of it all, and seemed to deal with it pretty well- something none of her ex-husbands could claim.
Miranda calmly looked around her and realized that there really was no one other than Andrea and their girls that she wanted to speak with. She looked over at the girls who were playing at the edge of the water. Andrea’s young twin girls, Annabelle and Magdalene, were playing keep-away with Andrea’s older daughter, Liesbeth. The girls were all shrieking with glee as Liesbeth almost caught their Frisbee. Before long, Miranda’s two girls, Cassidy and Caroline, had joined in on the play, which then turned into a game of who could splash the other the most. It didn’t seem like anyone was winning that game as everyone involved was soaked within the first two minutes.
Miranda wanted to join the play with every fiber of her being, but she couldn’t bring herself to mingle with the girls, so she kept her distance. Andrea had no such qualms, however. She eventually grew bored with all of the pointless chatter and joined the kids in their play. Miranda noticed that several other people were gazing at Andrea and her family with affection and some yearning, perhaps wishing that they could join in on the play as well. As Andrea’s delighted giggle drifted her way, Miranda clenched her teeth and with remorse in her heart, she walked away to speak with a Neurosurgeon she had been looking to collaborate with.
Hours later, everyone found themselves sitting on makeshift driftwood benches around a towering bonfire, leaning on each other’s shoulders. Some couples were cuddling each other; just holding on and whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears like truant teenagers. Miranda’s gaze fell on Andy who was staring at an older lesbian couple with a wistful expression. The older couple, Laura and Margaret, were fixtures at the Vineyard and had been together for the better part of five decades, through unimaginable adversity. Yet, here they were openly celebrating the fact that they made it. Although she couldn’t explain why exactly, seeing them always made Miranda incredibly nervous and insecure.
As she focused her attention back on Andrea, she watched unbearably sad, as a lone tear trailed down Andrea’s pale right cheek. She wanted to just wrap her in her arms and tell her how much she loved her and cherished her. She wanted to say ‘to hell with the world and what they may think of us’ and just live their lives free of certain cares. But it wasn’t in her nature and she could not and would not be that person, not even for Andrea. She gave a dramatic sigh and noticed Andrea’s head whip towards her with a frightened expression. Miranda found herself completely flummoxed by these signals she was getting from Andrea. But just as quickly as these looks appeared, they immediately disappeared and Andrea would smile as though nothing was amiss. But now, Miranda knew better, and she would make Andrea discuss this as soon as it was more convenient. Letting her attention drift once more, her eyes focused on the girls.
Cassiy, Caroline, and Liesbeth were talking to some of the older kids to their left as Annabelle and Magdalene listened to some other kids on their right who were telling them old scary campfire stories. Miranda and Andy finally had some time to themselves where they could chat in semi-privacy. Without touching each other, they managed to convey their sincere affection through long-loving gazes.
“Word on the grapevine is that you’re a shoe-In for that $22 million NIH grant for your new study on synthetic bioepithelial polymers. Miranda, I’m so proud of you, sweetheart” whispered Andrea as she gazed at Miranda with adoring love-filled eyes.
Miranda chuckled warmly and said “Hmmm.. who told you that? Well, never mind that. I almost can’t believe it myself. I’m just one step closer to….. well, you know. So many years of such hard work and sacrifice, and I’ve almost reached the pinnacle of my every dream and ambition.”
“Not all of them, Miranda, just the major professional ones at least. I believe we still have a few more personal goals to reach starting with-“
“Andrea, not now,” Miranda interrupted, “Please, not now, not here. You know why we can’t… you know,” Miranda finished feeling saddened by the disappointed and hurt look that briefly passed over Andrea’s face before she managed to hide it. Again, she wanted to pressure Andrea to tell her about these mixed signals that she was sending out, but fear of Andrea’s response squelched that urge.
“It’s okay, Miranda. I know. We’ve made it this far, right? Let’s just get out of here for a bit, okay? Can I just have you to myself forone night?” she whispered, imploring Miranda with her chocolate-brown eyes. Miranda suddenly felt electrified by that look and wanted to hastily get out and go home.
The girls all looked exhausted however, and with great reluctance, got up to leave when Miranda decided that it was time for them to take their leave. Andrea’s two little twins adorably rubbed their eyes and blearily blinked at Miranda and Andrea, barely able to stand. Finally, with a shared look of amusement and love, Miranda and Andy each reached for one of the little girls to carry them home in their arms.
As they all walked back to the cottage, with the older girls walking several steps ahead of their parents eagerly discussing their day, Miranda moved closer to Andrea’s side and nuzzled her ear, causing Andrea to momentarily stumble and shoot Miranda her “You just wait until I get you home” glare.
Miranda only smirked then said “I wanted tonight to be very special. Please meet me at our special cove on West Barnstable. You remember where we-“ and with those words, Miranda immediately blushed and stammered unable to finish the sentence, hoping that the darkness could hide most of her reaction.
“Well, you know where I am speaking of, Andrea. Please meet me there wearing that lovely long black sheer silk high-necked evening Chanel gown that brings out your inner goddess. Will you wear that for me, Andy?” Miranda finished with a sudden bout of insecurity. Andrea was gazing at her with a look she couldn’t even begin to decipher.
After a noticeable pause, Andrea turned to look at Miranda and replied “Sure, Miranda. I’d do anything for you. You know I would,” and she continued to walk eyes forward.
Miranda didn’t know what to think. If she didn’t know any better, she would say that Andrea had sounded almost bitter with that last statement. Andrea wasn’t giving her the reaction she had hoped for at all and she found herself wondering what this meant for them- both now and in the long-run.
‘Don’t even start down that path, Miranda-dear. Just give her your best and try to make up for everything else later,’ she thought to herself in a voice that sounded eerily like her mother’s. But there lay the root of her problem. She was not giving Andrea her best. She never had. She’d always given most of her time and attention to her precious hospital and her research, and then whatever was left over first went to her kids, and then to Andrea. Perhaps Andrea was reaching her limit with this relationship. ‘But why now?’ she puzzled.
After a few more moments of silence, Andrea cleared her throat and with a soft sigh said, “I’m sorry, Miranda. I am very much looking forward to our time tonight. And I’m sorry if I did not manage to adequately convey that before. I’m just a little tired.” Then she looked at Miranda and gave her a tired smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Miranda could tell that something was obviously wrong, but it was clear that Andrea was not going to speak about it that night. So, with an inaudible sigh, she forced some cheer into her voice, smiled at Andrea saying “It’s okay, Andrea. I understand.” Looking deeply into her eyes, she tried to reassure the younger woman, who in turn gave her a lopsided grin and kept walking humming to herself.
There was something so deeply sad and troubling about the tune of the song that she was humming, but Miranda couldn’t place it. She knew that she ought to know the tune, but it was eluding her at the moment. She knew, however, that the tone of that tune didn’t bode well for them that night.
‘I just need more time, and this will all be so much easier. Please, I just need more time,’ Miranda frantically sent up this unspoken and desperate prayer. She vowed to give Andrea a memorable night, and to start giving Andrea more reasons to remain in this relationship.