[fic] On the Wrong Side of the Right Bed [Part II]
Pairing: Groffchele
Word Count: 10,000
Summary: Every friendship has a beginning. This is a celebration of theirs.
Disclaimer: I do not own, control, etc Jonathan Groff OR Lea Michele, nor do I know them personally. This is purely fictional and entirely for fun, and no offense is meant to anyone.
Continued from Part I
deeeelicious.'>&
"Okay, okay, you try this, it's supposed to be deeeelicious."
Even if he doesn't trust the drink, he trusts Lea, and he's just drunk enough not to care about how much more alcohol he's consuming, and he throws her a wink and a grin before tossing back what Lea apparently called something with a pineapple cake.
It's a bit too sweet for his tastes-- much better suited to her-- but she's right, it's pretty good, and with five drinks under each their belts, she finally deems them ready to hit the dance floor, a lopsided grin on her face as she drags him out to dance with her, her ass grinding into his crotch before he can stop to make this any more appropriate between them.
He doesn't care. They do this every night, even if this isn't acting and he normally doesn't get half-hard from moving up against her.
There are plenty of attractive guys in here, but he knows, tonight he's entirely Lea's property, although something tells him that that, in and of itself, might never change. Not with the way she's laid her claim on him and his hand moves down her front as he grinds right back against her.
It's only when she turns around and starts kissing a trail up his neck that he's decided she's had more than enough to drink and finally takes her hand to get the two of them out of there.
"But Daaaaaddy..."
"Come on, Baby, we have more adventures to go on that will never happen if we never go back to our hotel..."
Leaning in to kiss the top of her head, he smiles into her hair as he starts them walking back from Larry's Lounge to their hotel near Dupont.
"Why are we walking?"
"Because it should only be about ten minutes, which isn't worth catching a cab for. Trust me, I asked our wonderful bartender that you tried to flirt with to get free drinks."
"Just because it didn't work this time--"
"It's because he thinks you have a boyfriend," he laughs, keeping her steady as his arm wraps back around her again.
"Weeeeell..." she drawls, gazing up at him adoringly, "I kind of doooo..."
"I wouldn't call it that, but okay," he grins hugely, squeezing her side as Dupont Circle slowly comes into view before them.
&
"Oh my god, I look like a monster. Jonathan, how did you let us sleep until noon?"
"Because," he stretches out on the bed a bit, running a tired hand over his face. "We didn't get back here until 3am, Lee. And we're not driving on too little sleep. Besides," finally tugging off the covers to get himself up, he heads into the bathroom with her to wrap his arms around her from behind, "this is a vacation, remember?"
"I look like death."
Laughing, he shakes his head, leaning in to kiss her temple. "You look beautiful."
"I can't deal with hotel-provided toiletries like this like we made do with last night. Jon, you're going to have to go downstairs and bug the valet to let you get out my toiletries. And... fresh clothes for us to change into."
"I'm on my way, sweetheart," he winks at her, grabbing his jeans and his t-shirt with a grin. He expected this, anticipated it, even, and by the time he comes back up with their overnight bag slung over his shoulder, he's also carrying a tray of breakfast.
"Room service," he grins when she opens the door, shrugging a bit.
"Oh my god, you're like an angel. Get in here, I can't believe you did all that. Ugh, now I'm going to have to pig out before making myself look presentable. Look at what you're doing to me!"
"You still look just as beautiful as when I last saw you," he grins, stopping to kiss her cheek before he sets their tray of orange juice, coffee, and waffles down on the bed for them to enjoy.
"Okay, so," Lea plops down on the bed as she grabs for a waffle, tearing herself off a piece. "Virginia Beach is next, right? How long is that going to take?"
"Eh, I'm guessing... three, four hours, depending."
"You know, if you'd just brought my phone up, this wouldn't be a problem."
Jon just grins.
&
"I don't know why I'm not the one driving here, this doesn't make any sense."
"Because you nearly ran into the neighbor's cows back in Lancas--"
"-- you don't need to remind me," she scowls, unfolding the large paper map one more time as she tries to make sense of all the different lines and dots and colors. "It's not my fault that maps are so confusing! And besides, I have no idea where we are."
"It would help if you looked at the street signs, Lee, those are there to help you," he shoots her a poignant look, folding down the top of her map. "It would also mean that I'd be able to look out of the windshield in front of me to see the road so we both don't die!"
"Oh, now you're whining. Before, you were all, oh, Lee, don't worry, maps are easy! Way easier than driving and killing all of us in a horrible accident!"
"Would you keep that out of my face?" he swats at the map, scowling over at her.
"You know, if I were driving, you'd be able to contain the map monster and we wouldn't have this problem at all."
&
"Okay, do you see this line?"
Radio silence. Even as the cars whoosh past them on the interstate, Jon still can't believe that he actually pulled over for an impromptu lesson in cartography.
"I drew an arrow right next to it, Lee."
"Okay, yeah. The orange one."
"That's our highway. We're right..." he draws a little circle, "here. Following so far?"
"I'm following."
"So, we're going to go down this road..." he traces their path along the interstate, just along the outside of Richmond, "where you're going to tell me these highway numbers, so I'll know what exit to take. Now... seeing as we're only going from here to here, this is the only part of the map you should have open. And that way we can both see out the windshield. Got it?"
"You know, this is entirely your fault. We wouldn't have this problem if you'd just let me take the GPS along. Or let me use my phone."
Grinning, Jon just leans in to kiss her forehead.
"Come on, we have a beach calling us."
&
They're finally past Richmond and a gas station (he can still hear the sound of Lea yelling in his ear as she loses control of the map for the seemingly twentieth time) when Jon sets cruise control on the car and leans back, seeing it time to relax into his seat a bit. It's been a stressful afternoon, but he wouldn't trade it for anything, not when it's time spent with his favorite girl in the world.
"You know what, I'm kind of hot. I think I want to change."
"Yeah? Want me to pull over at a gas station?"
Laughing at him, she starts tugging her shirt over her head. "Nope."
"Oh, so... we're doing this. Right here. In the middle of an interstate."
Undoing her bra, she grins over at him before reaching into the backseat for their bag to unzip.
"Well, why not? It's nothing you've never seen before... or touched before..."
"That's on stage, that's different."
"What, you're saying there isn't a little bit of Melchi Gabor in you, Daddy?" Laughing, she undoes her jeans, tossing her clothes into the duffel as she pulls a dress up into the front with her, sitting in nothing but her underwear as Jon turns an increasingly pinker color.
"No, I really..." he laughs, shaking his head, "I think I'm good."
"Oh my god, look at you! You're so cute! Are you blushing?!"
"I'm not!"
"You are! Oh my god, Jonathan!" He throws her a small, reprimanding smile as he pointedly looks everywhere but her bare breasts, and she pokes him in the arm, a huge grin on her face as she laughs. "Do you like my boobies? I think you like theeeem!"
"I do not!"
"Oh come on, don't be a baby..."
"I'm not being a baby! I'm just not used to almost naked girls in my car!"
"You know what, we're going to call this conditioning. Just for you, I'm going to stay just like this for at least the next fifteen mile markers."
&
"You are such a spoilsport. I can't believe you made me put my clothes back on."
"You look gorgeous in that dress. It would have been an insult to the dress if I wouldn't have gotten to see you in it."
"I just think you like my girls."
"They're lovely boobs, Lea," he gives her a poignant glance as he takes her hand to kiss the back of it. "Really, I mean it. And any guy would be lucky to get to be in my shoes every night."
"So you admit it, then. They turn you on."
"They do not turn me on!" he rolls his eyes at her before letting go of her hand to grab for a CD binder in the passenger seat to hand to her. "Come on, we're done talking about this. It's time to break out the showtunes."
&
They spend the rest of their day-- after singing along to Wicked and A Chorus Line for the rest of their drive and then checking into their hotel, the Cavalier-- exploring the Virginia Beach Boardwalk. Lea insists they stop at some of the more vintage, touristy shops and some of the local attractions, and it's only until they hear live music that they're truly drawn away to watch a band play on one of the many stages lining the Boardwalk.
It's after a delicious seafood dinner that they end up exploring the other side of the Boardwalk, closer to the ocean, Lea digging her toes into the sand as they walk, hand-in-hand, along the edge of it as they watch the sunset together.
"Today was fun," Jon smiles into her hair, kissing the top of her head as he squeezes her hand.
"You mean I wasn't too annoying?" she beams up at him, temporarily stopping their walk to lean up to kiss his cheek.
"Are you kidding? Never," he laughs, shaking his head as he grabs her shoes out of her hands to carry them for her alongside his own. "I love you far too much for you to ever get annoying."
"Because we're soulmates?" she beams, the sky blending beautifully from orange to purple.
"Because we're soulmates," he grins down at her, kissing her forehead.
&
"You know, F. Scott Fitzgerald stayed here before. Like... back in the late twenties. With Zelda and Scottie."
"Yeah? Looks like they had good taste," Jon grins as he wraps his arms around her from behind, tackling her down onto the bed with him to get her to laugh as his fingers find all of her ticklish spots.
"Wha-- no! Oh my god, Jonathan! Stop it! No! No! This is so unfair! Ahh! Foul play!!"
He lets her struggle for a little bit longer as he tickles her some more, finally stopping when they're both out of breath and panting from her fighting him, both of them still laughing.
"Oh my god, I can't believe you just did that, that was so unfair!"
"That was for earlier in the car."
"You said that wasn't annoying!"
"That doesn't mean you didn't deserve payback!"
They lie curled up beside each other for a little while longer before Lea decides she's been stationary for far too long, sitting up and turning to look at him.
"You know what we should do?"
"What?" he grins, wrapping his arms around her waist just a little more snugly.
"Raid the whole minibar."
&
It's a great idea.
Then again, Lea is usually convinced that all of Lea's ideas are great, and she plucks out another little bottle of alcohol to wiggle at him.
"You know what, I bet we could make some really interesting drink mixes if we dug a little deeper."
"I think you've had too much to drink," he laughs, coming up behind her to tuck his chin into the crook of her neck.
"We've had the exact same amount!" she turns to look at him, putting on an exaggerated pout.
"And you're a lightweight," he grins, letting his hands come up to tickle at her sides.
"You know what thaaat meaaaans... time to have more to driiiink..." She wiggles the little bottle at him again, beaming as she kisses the tip of his nose.
"Okay, you win," he laughs, taking the bottle of vermouth out of her hand and replacing it with a bottle of flavored vodka. "But you know why, right?"
"Because I'm your favorite girl in the whole wide world?"
"Precisely that," he grins, leaning in to kiss her cheek again before he opens the little bottle and holds it up in a mock-toast.
&
From where Lea's sitting, it's the only possible answer.
The way he didn't want to look at her breasts, the adorable nervous blush on his face, the way he keeps holding her hand and kissing her, the way he keeps evading any and all remarks about turning their relationship into more than just being friends, his constant mention of how much he loves her--
He has to feel the same way. Has to.
"Mm," she purrs as she runs a lone finger up his front, biting her lip as she wiggles against him. Ideally, they'd be lying down, but she figures sitting at the edge of the bed is good enough, especially with the way she's turned into him, her leg propped up under the other to nuzzle into his neck a bit, the way she knows he knows she does when she's drunk.
She's not too drunk, though, not too drunk to not know what she's doing.
"You know what I think, Daddy?" she drawls, softly kissing his neck as he laughs.
"Mm? What is it, Baby?"
Grinning as she resurfaces from the crook of his neck, she gently places her hand on his cheek to draw his face towards hers, get him to look at her, their noses touching.
She doesn't bother asking his question before she leans in to kiss him properly, like they do every night together on stage, tilting her face against his with a sigh, waiting for him to welcome her home in his arms.
Except, that moment never comes, Lea instead feeling him pull away, her eyes snapping open again as his own widen in shock.
"No, nononono--"
"No?"
"... no."
"But--"
"No."
"But we do that... every night, anyway, isn't this exactly like that?"
"... that's on stage, that's different." She pulls back completely, confusion written all over her face as he runs his hands over his own, shaking his head as he looks at her, seemingly conflicted for a moment. "Um, okay. I'm gay."
"Gay? But-- no--"
"Yeah. Definitely gay."
"But the... the kissing, and the... boobs, and your lack of... fashion sense, and the cuddling, a-and the grinding, and... o-our love--"
"I do love you," he shakes his head, taking her hand in both of his. He says it with such incredible conviction that Lea feels like she's swallowing down a boulder. "More than anything. Just... not... like that."
"Oh," she whispers softly, her gaze falling to her lap. She feels like she's been punched in the stomach. "Right. Not... like that."
"Right."
"So... n-nothing's going to happen?"
"... right."
"Okay, that's... th-that's fine. I don't... mind. I mean, I guess I should have seen it coming, right? I mean-- no, that's okay."
"So we're fine?"
"Yeah. We're... we're great, it doesn't matter at all."
She offers him a shaky smile as he leans in to kiss the top of her forehead.
"Okay. You want to cuddle?"
It just takes her seconds to curl into the crook of his arm, nodding against him as he leans them both back, gently stroking her hair as he kisses the top of her head again. She doesn't want him to see how torn up she actually is about this, how lost she feels without this achor that she must have been holding onto since the day they first met, just... floating for now. So she just curls a bit closer to him, not daring to let him go lest he disappear with some guy in favor of her.
&
"Hey, are you sure you're okay? You've been kind of quiet all morning?"
"I'm fine," Lea mutters offhandedly, her focus still on the phone in her hands, grateful, for once, that he's not telling her to put it away. They have a long drive ahead of them, the longest of their whole trip so far, and at the very least, for now, he seems to know where he's going and what he's doing even without her directions, though it's likely from his having stopped to study the map at their last pit-stop near Virginia Beach.
All in all, she kind of hates herself for trying to change things for them, ruining this perfect thing of theirs, whatever it really is, with feelings.
So when she's scrolling through her phone-- if only for something to do that isn't staring at the road or talking to Jon, which is awkward for the first time since the day they met, and again her fault-- suddenly texting back a recent ex of hers seems like a good idea.
He pales in comparison to Jon, of course, but anyone would, she knows that, and she'd been considering getting back together with him before meeting Jon anyway. So at least this isn't entirely out of the blue.
Now, five texts later, she's starting to feel just a little bit better.
She can't help being the kind of girl who just feels more together when she's in a relationship with someone doting on her, though a part of her wonders if it'll ever be possible for anyone to beat Jon, if anyone will ever prove enough of a distraction from her absolutely perfect soulmate right beside her.
"Who are you texting, anyway?" he finally asks with them just barely into North Carolina, and Lea shrugs, biting her lip as though she's really guilt-free in this instance, like she's not actually trying desperately to replace Jon with some other guy that will never measure up.
"Oh, just... someone." Clearing her throat, she shrugs again. "Troy."
"Wait, you mean your ex Troy?" he looks over at her with a frown, and she tries to nod as imperceptibly as she possibly can.
"Yeah, I mean... why not. He's a nice guy, I deserve to go on a date again."
"No one deserves it more," he nods with a soft smile as he takes her hand over the console again, but the look on his face doesn't stray for the rest of the day, regarding her just a little bit differently.
Just like their relationship is just a little bit different.
&
They're mostly back to their old selves by the time they arrive in Savannah eight or so hours later that night as Lea's urge to organize their stay there kicks in, and she leads them to a haunted Bed & Breakfast just as she promised, The Foley House.
At least for Lea's part, she seems to be mostly back to her old spirits once they have some food in them and they've gotten a history lesson and a tour about the place, which turns out to be a great deal spookier than Jon expected. Still, he knows that she's not entirely okay, and the thought that he's responsible-- even if he can't help it, not really-- makes his stomach churn.
He can't help but be worried about her. Her obsessive need to jump from relationship to relationship-- or worse, hook-up to hook-up-- seems to have only been exacerbated by his confession of his sexuality, not that he thinks it would have been any better if he'd just turned her down without explanation-- or worse, lead her on. In that sense, he's like a guardian to her, and he knows that if any of these guys do hurt her, he'll be the one left to pick up the pieces, hold her while she cries, and kiss the top of her head to make it all better again.
And he doesn't mind that part. Doesn't mind having pretend-sex with her on stage every night, doesn't mind cuddling and sharing beds and kissing her here and there and everywhere but her lips or any other places he shouldn't.
He does love her, he just can't love her more than he does, love her as much as she needs him to.
So he has trouble sleeping that night, even exhausted after their nine or so hours on the road, even with Lea tucked comfortingly into the crook of his arm, smiling as she sleeps on where he can't.
&
Things seem entirely back to normal the next day, and Jon can't help but be grateful. After an uneventful evening, the early start has them on the road soon enough that Lea remarks at one point that they probably could still fit in Disney that day, and even after five hours on the road, he can't help but agree with her.
He's never been, and the excitement in the car is palpable as Lea starts to go over all the places they have to go, finally settling on Epcot being by far the best one of the different parks as she recounts all the rides and attractions they had there the last time she went.
Much to Lea's relief, they stay on I-95 for most of the way down, and in between making sure that they're still passing all the right cities, she finds herself right back in her usual storytelling mode. It's comforting, nice to know that they're still best friends and that this doesn't change anything, and by the time they reach Orlando and check into their Disney hotel-- appropriately enough-- he almost can't decide whether he's more excited about Epcot or having his best friend back.
&
"Remember how you said... that you wanted to visit all of the countries at one point? As part of your bucket list?"
Lea grins, her hand in his as they make their way through Epcot. Jon, for his part, can't seem to stop staring at everything, looking up in complete awe here and there at the hedge sculptures, the people walking around in costume signing autographs.
A part of him can't help but think that this is what it's all about, being a performer-- joy in bringing joy to others-- and he can hardly seem to stop himself from smiling.
"Yeah, of course," he grins down at her as he tugs her a little closer to him.
"Well, we're checking that off of your list today! Right after Spaceship Earth, that is. We absolutely can't miss that. Come on!"
&
With their arrival at Disney around 2:30pm, Lea can't help but be thrilled over how well she timed this so that Jon might get see the IllumiNations firework and lightshow around the World Showcase. It was just late enough that they wouldn't end up being exhausted too soon, and after sitting in the car all morning, getting up and walking through the park was perfect.
It's been a while since she's seen it, too, but the look on Jon's face is even more magical than the show in front of them, and her gaze is invariably drawn back to the smile on his face, the way he's tearing up at the sight of it all.
She's not sure she's ever been so in love with him as she is in that moment as he holds her as close as he can.
By the time they're back at their hotel, it's well past midnight, both of them tired, exhausted, and sweaty, but beyond happy, and Lea promises he'll get access to the shower as soon as she's done with it, throwing him a wink before she slips into the bathroom.
Really, sitting topless in the car aside, she can't help but wonder if she couldn't convince him of just how sexy she really is, and by the time she turns the water off, she decides that maybe all he really needs is to see her, really see her, so that she might convince him that they're meant to be together, that their love is perfect and eternal, that she'd marry him in a heartbeat if he only asked her to.
But by the time she's out of the bathroom with the tiniest towel in the world wrapped around her form, Jon's already asleep, one arm tucked under his pillow, the other haphazardly thrown back behind him, his Mickey Mouse ears just slightly crooked on his head.
Moving to sit at his side on the bed, she slowly runs her hand over the side of his face. Maybe it doesn't have to happen today.
Maybe it doesn't ever have to happen, not if this is enough.
She doesn't have the heart to take his Mickey ears off of him, but she takes a moment to straighten them out a bit before carefully drawing his arm to his front so he might not be completely uncomfortable while he sleeps.
Still careful not to wake him, she slips away from him just long enough to change into one of his t-shirts that she borrowed months ago and never had the heart to give back since then, towel-drying her hair and getting herself ready for bed before she slips in with him, curling her arms around him from behind, like he always does for her.
If she has to be in love with someone she can't have, she's not sure she could have ever picked a better person, placing one last soft kiss to his cheek before curling a good bit closer to him and finally letting her eyes drift closed to the comforting sound of his breathing.
They'll have the beach tomorrow and the drive back, and then-- the rest of their lives together.
Best friends.
&
Lea doesn't burn, but Jon is starting to tinge pink by the time the sun starts setting the next day. It's the end of July, so he's not surprised, but he can't help but expect them both to be sore from being burnt tomorrow, even if his condition will be far worse than Lea's.
But he doesn't care.
It's been great-- the whole trip, actually, their time on the train, on the farm, every day spent on the road with Lea, spending the night and exploring every city along the way, some more than others, their day at Epcot, and the beach. He'd hardly know how to pick a favorite, although covering Lea with sand today, carrying her around in the ocean, light as a feather, and the way she got ice cream all over both of them are definitely near the top, and he wonders if every vacation shouldn't be one with Lea in it, if every part of his life shouldn't maybe include her, in some way, if only for all the joy she brings to his life, all the laughter and all the love.
She's still texting with that guy, Troy, on and off, and in a way, he does hope it works out, that she finds happiness in that, and maybe more than he can give her.
And in another way, he stepped outside to take a phonecall after breakfast this morning while Lea was getting ready in the bathroom, and he knows there's a date with his name written on it whenever he gets back to New York with a guy named Adam who actually seems pretty cool.
And that's safe. Safer than questioning his sexuality that he's known for ages now, ever since he was twelve. Safer than deciding that maybe this could be different.
Lea's so bright and alive that it's addictive, running back into the ocean to splash and play with the waves as the colors of the sunset bounce off of the water to make it seem almost like it's sparkling.
He can't help watching her, can't help loving her, even from his safe spot under their rented umbrella despite knowing he's already been burned, that he's come too close to the sun and that he might never pull back from that again.
Maybe he could love her, really love her, as much as she wishes he did.
Maybe he already does.
And when Lea comes back to his arms, Jon welcoming her back into them easily, he can't help but smile as he kisses the top of her damp forehead.
"I think you're right. We are going to be lifelong friends."
Word Count: 10,000
Summary: Every friendship has a beginning. This is a celebration of theirs.
Disclaimer: I do not own, control, etc Jonathan Groff OR Lea Michele, nor do I know them personally. This is purely fictional and entirely for fun, and no offense is meant to anyone.
Continued from Part I
deeeelicious.'>&
"Okay, okay, you try this, it's supposed to be deeeelicious."
Even if he doesn't trust the drink, he trusts Lea, and he's just drunk enough not to care about how much more alcohol he's consuming, and he throws her a wink and a grin before tossing back what Lea apparently called something with a pineapple cake.
It's a bit too sweet for his tastes-- much better suited to her-- but she's right, it's pretty good, and with five drinks under each their belts, she finally deems them ready to hit the dance floor, a lopsided grin on her face as she drags him out to dance with her, her ass grinding into his crotch before he can stop to make this any more appropriate between them.
He doesn't care. They do this every night, even if this isn't acting and he normally doesn't get half-hard from moving up against her.
There are plenty of attractive guys in here, but he knows, tonight he's entirely Lea's property, although something tells him that that, in and of itself, might never change. Not with the way she's laid her claim on him and his hand moves down her front as he grinds right back against her.
It's only when she turns around and starts kissing a trail up his neck that he's decided she's had more than enough to drink and finally takes her hand to get the two of them out of there.
"But Daaaaaddy..."
"Come on, Baby, we have more adventures to go on that will never happen if we never go back to our hotel..."
Leaning in to kiss the top of her head, he smiles into her hair as he starts them walking back from Larry's Lounge to their hotel near Dupont.
"Why are we walking?"
"Because it should only be about ten minutes, which isn't worth catching a cab for. Trust me, I asked our wonderful bartender that you tried to flirt with to get free drinks."
"Just because it didn't work this time--"
"It's because he thinks you have a boyfriend," he laughs, keeping her steady as his arm wraps back around her again.
"Weeeeell..." she drawls, gazing up at him adoringly, "I kind of doooo..."
"I wouldn't call it that, but okay," he grins hugely, squeezing her side as Dupont Circle slowly comes into view before them.
&
"Oh my god, I look like a monster. Jonathan, how did you let us sleep until noon?"
"Because," he stretches out on the bed a bit, running a tired hand over his face. "We didn't get back here until 3am, Lee. And we're not driving on too little sleep. Besides," finally tugging off the covers to get himself up, he heads into the bathroom with her to wrap his arms around her from behind, "this is a vacation, remember?"
"I look like death."
Laughing, he shakes his head, leaning in to kiss her temple. "You look beautiful."
"I can't deal with hotel-provided toiletries like this like we made do with last night. Jon, you're going to have to go downstairs and bug the valet to let you get out my toiletries. And... fresh clothes for us to change into."
"I'm on my way, sweetheart," he winks at her, grabbing his jeans and his t-shirt with a grin. He expected this, anticipated it, even, and by the time he comes back up with their overnight bag slung over his shoulder, he's also carrying a tray of breakfast.
"Room service," he grins when she opens the door, shrugging a bit.
"Oh my god, you're like an angel. Get in here, I can't believe you did all that. Ugh, now I'm going to have to pig out before making myself look presentable. Look at what you're doing to me!"
"You still look just as beautiful as when I last saw you," he grins, stopping to kiss her cheek before he sets their tray of orange juice, coffee, and waffles down on the bed for them to enjoy.
"Okay, so," Lea plops down on the bed as she grabs for a waffle, tearing herself off a piece. "Virginia Beach is next, right? How long is that going to take?"
"Eh, I'm guessing... three, four hours, depending."
"You know, if you'd just brought my phone up, this wouldn't be a problem."
Jon just grins.
&
"I don't know why I'm not the one driving here, this doesn't make any sense."
"Because you nearly ran into the neighbor's cows back in Lancas--"
"-- you don't need to remind me," she scowls, unfolding the large paper map one more time as she tries to make sense of all the different lines and dots and colors. "It's not my fault that maps are so confusing! And besides, I have no idea where we are."
"It would help if you looked at the street signs, Lee, those are there to help you," he shoots her a poignant look, folding down the top of her map. "It would also mean that I'd be able to look out of the windshield in front of me to see the road so we both don't die!"
"Oh, now you're whining. Before, you were all, oh, Lee, don't worry, maps are easy! Way easier than driving and killing all of us in a horrible accident!"
"Would you keep that out of my face?" he swats at the map, scowling over at her.
"You know, if I were driving, you'd be able to contain the map monster and we wouldn't have this problem at all."
&
"Okay, do you see this line?"
Radio silence. Even as the cars whoosh past them on the interstate, Jon still can't believe that he actually pulled over for an impromptu lesson in cartography.
"I drew an arrow right next to it, Lee."
"Okay, yeah. The orange one."
"That's our highway. We're right..." he draws a little circle, "here. Following so far?"
"I'm following."
"So, we're going to go down this road..." he traces their path along the interstate, just along the outside of Richmond, "where you're going to tell me these highway numbers, so I'll know what exit to take. Now... seeing as we're only going from here to here, this is the only part of the map you should have open. And that way we can both see out the windshield. Got it?"
"You know, this is entirely your fault. We wouldn't have this problem if you'd just let me take the GPS along. Or let me use my phone."
Grinning, Jon just leans in to kiss her forehead.
"Come on, we have a beach calling us."
&
They're finally past Richmond and a gas station (he can still hear the sound of Lea yelling in his ear as she loses control of the map for the seemingly twentieth time) when Jon sets cruise control on the car and leans back, seeing it time to relax into his seat a bit. It's been a stressful afternoon, but he wouldn't trade it for anything, not when it's time spent with his favorite girl in the world.
"You know what, I'm kind of hot. I think I want to change."
"Yeah? Want me to pull over at a gas station?"
Laughing at him, she starts tugging her shirt over her head. "Nope."
"Oh, so... we're doing this. Right here. In the middle of an interstate."
Undoing her bra, she grins over at him before reaching into the backseat for their bag to unzip.
"Well, why not? It's nothing you've never seen before... or touched before..."
"That's on stage, that's different."
"What, you're saying there isn't a little bit of Melchi Gabor in you, Daddy?" Laughing, she undoes her jeans, tossing her clothes into the duffel as she pulls a dress up into the front with her, sitting in nothing but her underwear as Jon turns an increasingly pinker color.
"No, I really..." he laughs, shaking his head, "I think I'm good."
"Oh my god, look at you! You're so cute! Are you blushing?!"
"I'm not!"
"You are! Oh my god, Jonathan!" He throws her a small, reprimanding smile as he pointedly looks everywhere but her bare breasts, and she pokes him in the arm, a huge grin on her face as she laughs. "Do you like my boobies? I think you like theeeem!"
"I do not!"
"Oh come on, don't be a baby..."
"I'm not being a baby! I'm just not used to almost naked girls in my car!"
"You know what, we're going to call this conditioning. Just for you, I'm going to stay just like this for at least the next fifteen mile markers."
&
"You are such a spoilsport. I can't believe you made me put my clothes back on."
"You look gorgeous in that dress. It would have been an insult to the dress if I wouldn't have gotten to see you in it."
"I just think you like my girls."
"They're lovely boobs, Lea," he gives her a poignant glance as he takes her hand to kiss the back of it. "Really, I mean it. And any guy would be lucky to get to be in my shoes every night."
"So you admit it, then. They turn you on."
"They do not turn me on!" he rolls his eyes at her before letting go of her hand to grab for a CD binder in the passenger seat to hand to her. "Come on, we're done talking about this. It's time to break out the showtunes."
&
They spend the rest of their day-- after singing along to Wicked and A Chorus Line for the rest of their drive and then checking into their hotel, the Cavalier-- exploring the Virginia Beach Boardwalk. Lea insists they stop at some of the more vintage, touristy shops and some of the local attractions, and it's only until they hear live music that they're truly drawn away to watch a band play on one of the many stages lining the Boardwalk.
It's after a delicious seafood dinner that they end up exploring the other side of the Boardwalk, closer to the ocean, Lea digging her toes into the sand as they walk, hand-in-hand, along the edge of it as they watch the sunset together.
"Today was fun," Jon smiles into her hair, kissing the top of her head as he squeezes her hand.
"You mean I wasn't too annoying?" she beams up at him, temporarily stopping their walk to lean up to kiss his cheek.
"Are you kidding? Never," he laughs, shaking his head as he grabs her shoes out of her hands to carry them for her alongside his own. "I love you far too much for you to ever get annoying."
"Because we're soulmates?" she beams, the sky blending beautifully from orange to purple.
"Because we're soulmates," he grins down at her, kissing her forehead.
&
"You know, F. Scott Fitzgerald stayed here before. Like... back in the late twenties. With Zelda and Scottie."
"Yeah? Looks like they had good taste," Jon grins as he wraps his arms around her from behind, tackling her down onto the bed with him to get her to laugh as his fingers find all of her ticklish spots.
"Wha-- no! Oh my god, Jonathan! Stop it! No! No! This is so unfair! Ahh! Foul play!!"
He lets her struggle for a little bit longer as he tickles her some more, finally stopping when they're both out of breath and panting from her fighting him, both of them still laughing.
"Oh my god, I can't believe you just did that, that was so unfair!"
"That was for earlier in the car."
"You said that wasn't annoying!"
"That doesn't mean you didn't deserve payback!"
They lie curled up beside each other for a little while longer before Lea decides she's been stationary for far too long, sitting up and turning to look at him.
"You know what we should do?"
"What?" he grins, wrapping his arms around her waist just a little more snugly.
"Raid the whole minibar."
&
It's a great idea.
Then again, Lea is usually convinced that all of Lea's ideas are great, and she plucks out another little bottle of alcohol to wiggle at him.
"You know what, I bet we could make some really interesting drink mixes if we dug a little deeper."
"I think you've had too much to drink," he laughs, coming up behind her to tuck his chin into the crook of her neck.
"We've had the exact same amount!" she turns to look at him, putting on an exaggerated pout.
"And you're a lightweight," he grins, letting his hands come up to tickle at her sides.
"You know what thaaat meaaaans... time to have more to driiiink..." She wiggles the little bottle at him again, beaming as she kisses the tip of his nose.
"Okay, you win," he laughs, taking the bottle of vermouth out of her hand and replacing it with a bottle of flavored vodka. "But you know why, right?"
"Because I'm your favorite girl in the whole wide world?"
"Precisely that," he grins, leaning in to kiss her cheek again before he opens the little bottle and holds it up in a mock-toast.
&
From where Lea's sitting, it's the only possible answer.
The way he didn't want to look at her breasts, the adorable nervous blush on his face, the way he keeps holding her hand and kissing her, the way he keeps evading any and all remarks about turning their relationship into more than just being friends, his constant mention of how much he loves her--
He has to feel the same way. Has to.
"Mm," she purrs as she runs a lone finger up his front, biting her lip as she wiggles against him. Ideally, they'd be lying down, but she figures sitting at the edge of the bed is good enough, especially with the way she's turned into him, her leg propped up under the other to nuzzle into his neck a bit, the way she knows he knows she does when she's drunk.
She's not too drunk, though, not too drunk to not know what she's doing.
"You know what I think, Daddy?" she drawls, softly kissing his neck as he laughs.
"Mm? What is it, Baby?"
Grinning as she resurfaces from the crook of his neck, she gently places her hand on his cheek to draw his face towards hers, get him to look at her, their noses touching.
She doesn't bother asking his question before she leans in to kiss him properly, like they do every night together on stage, tilting her face against his with a sigh, waiting for him to welcome her home in his arms.
Except, that moment never comes, Lea instead feeling him pull away, her eyes snapping open again as his own widen in shock.
"No, nononono--"
"No?"
"... no."
"But--"
"No."
"But we do that... every night, anyway, isn't this exactly like that?"
"... that's on stage, that's different." She pulls back completely, confusion written all over her face as he runs his hands over his own, shaking his head as he looks at her, seemingly conflicted for a moment. "Um, okay. I'm gay."
"Gay? But-- no--"
"Yeah. Definitely gay."
"But the... the kissing, and the... boobs, and your lack of... fashion sense, and the cuddling, a-and the grinding, and... o-our love--"
"I do love you," he shakes his head, taking her hand in both of his. He says it with such incredible conviction that Lea feels like she's swallowing down a boulder. "More than anything. Just... not... like that."
"Oh," she whispers softly, her gaze falling to her lap. She feels like she's been punched in the stomach. "Right. Not... like that."
"Right."
"So... n-nothing's going to happen?"
"... right."
"Okay, that's... th-that's fine. I don't... mind. I mean, I guess I should have seen it coming, right? I mean-- no, that's okay."
"So we're fine?"
"Yeah. We're... we're great, it doesn't matter at all."
She offers him a shaky smile as he leans in to kiss the top of her forehead.
"Okay. You want to cuddle?"
It just takes her seconds to curl into the crook of his arm, nodding against him as he leans them both back, gently stroking her hair as he kisses the top of her head again. She doesn't want him to see how torn up she actually is about this, how lost she feels without this achor that she must have been holding onto since the day they first met, just... floating for now. So she just curls a bit closer to him, not daring to let him go lest he disappear with some guy in favor of her.
&
"Hey, are you sure you're okay? You've been kind of quiet all morning?"
"I'm fine," Lea mutters offhandedly, her focus still on the phone in her hands, grateful, for once, that he's not telling her to put it away. They have a long drive ahead of them, the longest of their whole trip so far, and at the very least, for now, he seems to know where he's going and what he's doing even without her directions, though it's likely from his having stopped to study the map at their last pit-stop near Virginia Beach.
All in all, she kind of hates herself for trying to change things for them, ruining this perfect thing of theirs, whatever it really is, with feelings.
So when she's scrolling through her phone-- if only for something to do that isn't staring at the road or talking to Jon, which is awkward for the first time since the day they met, and again her fault-- suddenly texting back a recent ex of hers seems like a good idea.
He pales in comparison to Jon, of course, but anyone would, she knows that, and she'd been considering getting back together with him before meeting Jon anyway. So at least this isn't entirely out of the blue.
Now, five texts later, she's starting to feel just a little bit better.
She can't help being the kind of girl who just feels more together when she's in a relationship with someone doting on her, though a part of her wonders if it'll ever be possible for anyone to beat Jon, if anyone will ever prove enough of a distraction from her absolutely perfect soulmate right beside her.
"Who are you texting, anyway?" he finally asks with them just barely into North Carolina, and Lea shrugs, biting her lip as though she's really guilt-free in this instance, like she's not actually trying desperately to replace Jon with some other guy that will never measure up.
"Oh, just... someone." Clearing her throat, she shrugs again. "Troy."
"Wait, you mean your ex Troy?" he looks over at her with a frown, and she tries to nod as imperceptibly as she possibly can.
"Yeah, I mean... why not. He's a nice guy, I deserve to go on a date again."
"No one deserves it more," he nods with a soft smile as he takes her hand over the console again, but the look on his face doesn't stray for the rest of the day, regarding her just a little bit differently.
Just like their relationship is just a little bit different.
&
They're mostly back to their old selves by the time they arrive in Savannah eight or so hours later that night as Lea's urge to organize their stay there kicks in, and she leads them to a haunted Bed & Breakfast just as she promised, The Foley House.
At least for Lea's part, she seems to be mostly back to her old spirits once they have some food in them and they've gotten a history lesson and a tour about the place, which turns out to be a great deal spookier than Jon expected. Still, he knows that she's not entirely okay, and the thought that he's responsible-- even if he can't help it, not really-- makes his stomach churn.
He can't help but be worried about her. Her obsessive need to jump from relationship to relationship-- or worse, hook-up to hook-up-- seems to have only been exacerbated by his confession of his sexuality, not that he thinks it would have been any better if he'd just turned her down without explanation-- or worse, lead her on. In that sense, he's like a guardian to her, and he knows that if any of these guys do hurt her, he'll be the one left to pick up the pieces, hold her while she cries, and kiss the top of her head to make it all better again.
And he doesn't mind that part. Doesn't mind having pretend-sex with her on stage every night, doesn't mind cuddling and sharing beds and kissing her here and there and everywhere but her lips or any other places he shouldn't.
He does love her, he just can't love her more than he does, love her as much as she needs him to.
So he has trouble sleeping that night, even exhausted after their nine or so hours on the road, even with Lea tucked comfortingly into the crook of his arm, smiling as she sleeps on where he can't.
&
Things seem entirely back to normal the next day, and Jon can't help but be grateful. After an uneventful evening, the early start has them on the road soon enough that Lea remarks at one point that they probably could still fit in Disney that day, and even after five hours on the road, he can't help but agree with her.
He's never been, and the excitement in the car is palpable as Lea starts to go over all the places they have to go, finally settling on Epcot being by far the best one of the different parks as she recounts all the rides and attractions they had there the last time she went.
Much to Lea's relief, they stay on I-95 for most of the way down, and in between making sure that they're still passing all the right cities, she finds herself right back in her usual storytelling mode. It's comforting, nice to know that they're still best friends and that this doesn't change anything, and by the time they reach Orlando and check into their Disney hotel-- appropriately enough-- he almost can't decide whether he's more excited about Epcot or having his best friend back.
&
"Remember how you said... that you wanted to visit all of the countries at one point? As part of your bucket list?"
Lea grins, her hand in his as they make their way through Epcot. Jon, for his part, can't seem to stop staring at everything, looking up in complete awe here and there at the hedge sculptures, the people walking around in costume signing autographs.
A part of him can't help but think that this is what it's all about, being a performer-- joy in bringing joy to others-- and he can hardly seem to stop himself from smiling.
"Yeah, of course," he grins down at her as he tugs her a little closer to him.
"Well, we're checking that off of your list today! Right after Spaceship Earth, that is. We absolutely can't miss that. Come on!"
&
With their arrival at Disney around 2:30pm, Lea can't help but be thrilled over how well she timed this so that Jon might get see the IllumiNations firework and lightshow around the World Showcase. It was just late enough that they wouldn't end up being exhausted too soon, and after sitting in the car all morning, getting up and walking through the park was perfect.
It's been a while since she's seen it, too, but the look on Jon's face is even more magical than the show in front of them, and her gaze is invariably drawn back to the smile on his face, the way he's tearing up at the sight of it all.
She's not sure she's ever been so in love with him as she is in that moment as he holds her as close as he can.
By the time they're back at their hotel, it's well past midnight, both of them tired, exhausted, and sweaty, but beyond happy, and Lea promises he'll get access to the shower as soon as she's done with it, throwing him a wink before she slips into the bathroom.
Really, sitting topless in the car aside, she can't help but wonder if she couldn't convince him of just how sexy she really is, and by the time she turns the water off, she decides that maybe all he really needs is to see her, really see her, so that she might convince him that they're meant to be together, that their love is perfect and eternal, that she'd marry him in a heartbeat if he only asked her to.
But by the time she's out of the bathroom with the tiniest towel in the world wrapped around her form, Jon's already asleep, one arm tucked under his pillow, the other haphazardly thrown back behind him, his Mickey Mouse ears just slightly crooked on his head.
Moving to sit at his side on the bed, she slowly runs her hand over the side of his face. Maybe it doesn't have to happen today.
Maybe it doesn't ever have to happen, not if this is enough.
She doesn't have the heart to take his Mickey ears off of him, but she takes a moment to straighten them out a bit before carefully drawing his arm to his front so he might not be completely uncomfortable while he sleeps.
Still careful not to wake him, she slips away from him just long enough to change into one of his t-shirts that she borrowed months ago and never had the heart to give back since then, towel-drying her hair and getting herself ready for bed before she slips in with him, curling her arms around him from behind, like he always does for her.
If she has to be in love with someone she can't have, she's not sure she could have ever picked a better person, placing one last soft kiss to his cheek before curling a good bit closer to him and finally letting her eyes drift closed to the comforting sound of his breathing.
They'll have the beach tomorrow and the drive back, and then-- the rest of their lives together.
Best friends.
&
Lea doesn't burn, but Jon is starting to tinge pink by the time the sun starts setting the next day. It's the end of July, so he's not surprised, but he can't help but expect them both to be sore from being burnt tomorrow, even if his condition will be far worse than Lea's.
But he doesn't care.
It's been great-- the whole trip, actually, their time on the train, on the farm, every day spent on the road with Lea, spending the night and exploring every city along the way, some more than others, their day at Epcot, and the beach. He'd hardly know how to pick a favorite, although covering Lea with sand today, carrying her around in the ocean, light as a feather, and the way she got ice cream all over both of them are definitely near the top, and he wonders if every vacation shouldn't be one with Lea in it, if every part of his life shouldn't maybe include her, in some way, if only for all the joy she brings to his life, all the laughter and all the love.
She's still texting with that guy, Troy, on and off, and in a way, he does hope it works out, that she finds happiness in that, and maybe more than he can give her.
And in another way, he stepped outside to take a phonecall after breakfast this morning while Lea was getting ready in the bathroom, and he knows there's a date with his name written on it whenever he gets back to New York with a guy named Adam who actually seems pretty cool.
And that's safe. Safer than questioning his sexuality that he's known for ages now, ever since he was twelve. Safer than deciding that maybe this could be different.
Lea's so bright and alive that it's addictive, running back into the ocean to splash and play with the waves as the colors of the sunset bounce off of the water to make it seem almost like it's sparkling.
He can't help watching her, can't help loving her, even from his safe spot under their rented umbrella despite knowing he's already been burned, that he's come too close to the sun and that he might never pull back from that again.
Maybe he could love her, really love her, as much as she wishes he did.
Maybe he already does.
And when Lea comes back to his arms, Jon welcoming her back into them easily, he can't help but smile as he kisses the top of her damp forehead.
"I think you're right. We are going to be lifelong friends."