so much work
Getting ready to move. Lots of packing to do. I wake up in an utter daze in the morning sometimes to the sound of my mother telling me how spoiled and unhelpful I am.
Thinking of moving out, maybe somewhere closer to uni. If lucky, this cool prof I know might land me a good translation job, one that doesn't count by the hour but by the word. Then I could live on my own, and I'd buy a motorcycle. Then I wouldn't have to wake up to the sound of my mother nagging, and I could stay out, stay out late, sleep in late, invite people over, not invite people over, be a hermit, fuck who I want, smoke on the balcony, and go to class hung over.
I just have such a distaste for my mother. I wish I didn't.
I told Yiyun that I slept with Tata, and that he's an important person in my life now, take it or leave it. She doesn't mind anymore. She still likes me, wants some kind of future with me. I don't know if I still like her though, she seems boring. But that might also be because I kept going over in my head about how I should tell her the truth, so I couldn't talk to her like I normally would.
I want to meet better girls. Smart, interesting, handsome girls. (Oh where?)
She got drunk and ended up puking in the park toilet for half an hour. I had to carry her back to my place.
Still grappling hard to find my own footing. Who am I without other people?
Everyone else has an artistic pursuit alongside what they're doing. I feel like I'm drying up, I don't have an artistic pursuit. What ever to do?
Thinking of moving out, maybe somewhere closer to uni. If lucky, this cool prof I know might land me a good translation job, one that doesn't count by the hour but by the word. Then I could live on my own, and I'd buy a motorcycle. Then I wouldn't have to wake up to the sound of my mother nagging, and I could stay out, stay out late, sleep in late, invite people over, not invite people over, be a hermit, fuck who I want, smoke on the balcony, and go to class hung over.
I just have such a distaste for my mother. I wish I didn't.
I told Yiyun that I slept with Tata, and that he's an important person in my life now, take it or leave it. She doesn't mind anymore. She still likes me, wants some kind of future with me. I don't know if I still like her though, she seems boring. But that might also be because I kept going over in my head about how I should tell her the truth, so I couldn't talk to her like I normally would.
I want to meet better girls. Smart, interesting, handsome girls. (Oh where?)
She got drunk and ended up puking in the park toilet for half an hour. I had to carry her back to my place.
Still grappling hard to find my own footing. Who am I without other people?
Everyone else has an artistic pursuit alongside what they're doing. I feel like I'm drying up, I don't have an artistic pursuit. What ever to do?