(no subject)
ok so yea all i want to do right now is sleep, i'm not up for much right now i have no vision of the future and i never liked my past. i can't seem to be happy but nor can i seem to be depressed, i can't seem to be angry nor sad i feel like all emotion has been robed from me as of lately........
i have a 5 gallon pot of chilli made from scratch on the stove its been cooking for 32hours. i'm stoked but also scared to go to england.....
i have been dreaming alot more then ever lately and all my dreams contain and have to do with a singular person and how much i care for them but what am i to do when i'm awake i would rather be in my dream because in my dream i am happy but when i'm awake reflecting on the dream scares me.
i'm to young to be ready to die.
i don't know what to do anymore.
i wish that someone would keep more in touch with me but i can't ask for that person too. i don't know i feel like there is no one around that is close enough that understands me enough. i guess i'm just fealing incomplete.
i'm going to be flying out the day before spikes birthday, i feel so bad about that... i can't believe i dind't think about that when buying the tickets. oh well he will understand and knowing him he will be more happy that i'm finally going. god i love that kid, i feel like we have been brothers many many times in past lives.
ok well for now time to go back to work and pretend to be jolly.
i have a 5 gallon pot of chilli made from scratch on the stove its been cooking for 32hours. i'm stoked but also scared to go to england.....
i have been dreaming alot more then ever lately and all my dreams contain and have to do with a singular person and how much i care for them but what am i to do when i'm awake i would rather be in my dream because in my dream i am happy but when i'm awake reflecting on the dream scares me.
i'm to young to be ready to die.
i don't know what to do anymore.
i wish that someone would keep more in touch with me but i can't ask for that person too. i don't know i feel like there is no one around that is close enough that understands me enough. i guess i'm just fealing incomplete.
i'm going to be flying out the day before spikes birthday, i feel so bad about that... i can't believe i dind't think about that when buying the tickets. oh well he will understand and knowing him he will be more happy that i'm finally going. god i love that kid, i feel like we have been brothers many many times in past lives.
ok well for now time to go back to work and pretend to be jolly.