i wish i was ghettofabulous, but instead i'm just emofabulous

[androcles]

yea i'm so fucking emotastic right now, i have no idea why but i have been sitting in my cave of a room listining to Death cab for cutie for seriously hours just kinda wallowing not wanting to do or see anything. hours spent staring at the wall, my god what the hell am i doing. why does my mind put me through this utter hell of uncertainty and gut wrentching selfconsciousness. i'm really not sure what to do i'm almost ready to start curing things with the little magic pills again. its been almost a year with out them..... err no actually its only been about 6 months, well we will see, but i feel myself falling into old ruts and rutines that i thought i had finally gotten out of, that i had finally ventured to a new level but recently i find my self right back were i used to be so long ago.
fucking aye i just don't even want to be awake anymore, i wish i could just sleep the days away. good night everyone if i wasn't so jaded towards crying, i would do that untill i fell asleep.