Grandma has cancer...
....on a wost note, while i was in cali this past week, my grandmother (my dad's mom) was rushed to the hospital.
there they found out she had a tumor.
it's cancer,
colon canver
a day before i came back, they did surgery to remove it.
they did. and part of the intestine.
i spoke to her on the phone in cali on the roof of my hotel.
i thought, is this how it's always going to be? whenever i'm away, somehting happens.
hearing her voice ont he line was heart whenching. i wish i was there with my family.
the morning i left to cali to told my mom, 'when i get back i'm going to go to grandma's for a dad, interview her, cook her food.' and now it's too late. i spend time with loved ones, but i work alot. i never want to regret. i went to nana's (my mom's mom... papa's wife.. papa died in nov 05) i went to nana's yesterday and spent the day with her. she was so thankful she cried. she's so lonely.
i love her so much.
so today we found out the cancer had spread.
going in to remove the tunor might have done more damage than good. but at the time it was a must, since bile was going into her blood stream causing an infection.
my father was at the hospital today with all of his bros and sisters. my titi (aunt in spanish) mickey was crying so hard, eddie had to take her home. i remember when papa was dying how hard my mother and titi lillian took it. and that second he stopped breathing. ...
it was like, i knew it was coming. he'd stop... then start. then stop... and then he never started again.
my mom was dialing my uncle's number. then titi lillian yelled, he stopped! oh my GOD! he stopped breathing he's not breathing!!!
then everyone started crying really loud, and i jsut held my mom really close, but she just couldn't stand up, and was just in so much pain. lillian's husband was there.
i couldn't believe it. but i could, and i had to be strong. my mom loved him so much. there will be times when she'll/we'll just start crying. his laugh. his hands. everything that's anything love. Love. Love. Love. loving a human being. loving a dog. loving that living breathing creature that looks back at you. that responds. that has an affect of ur life.
to be here
then to be gone.
what if you love it to be here. and there's so much happiness with it.
that change is so hard to deal with.
my nana was married to papa for 55 years!
i havn't even been living that long.
he was amazing.
i video the last year of his life.
i can't watch them yet. but one day i'll make a documentary.
now my grandma.
i went to go see her today and she jsut kept telling me how much she loved me and how beautiful i was. i don't want her to die.
they think she won't be able to do the chemo and radiation b.c. of her diabetes and bad heart.
i really don't want her to die. aww my poor daddy. i hope he's ok. his dad died over 10 years ago.
i'll go see her tomorrow before we start errands.
staying healthy is so important b.c. it'll kik you in the ass sooner or later. sound is the last to go... with the mind all there, it's such a tragedy to have ur body fail you.
eat well (vegetables). exercise. drink 8 -8oz a day. don't smoke, drink alot. just show ur body love and appreciate. it's so good to you. :-)
there they found out she had a tumor.
it's cancer,
colon canver
a day before i came back, they did surgery to remove it.
they did. and part of the intestine.
i spoke to her on the phone in cali on the roof of my hotel.
i thought, is this how it's always going to be? whenever i'm away, somehting happens.
hearing her voice ont he line was heart whenching. i wish i was there with my family.
the morning i left to cali to told my mom, 'when i get back i'm going to go to grandma's for a dad, interview her, cook her food.' and now it's too late. i spend time with loved ones, but i work alot. i never want to regret. i went to nana's (my mom's mom... papa's wife.. papa died in nov 05) i went to nana's yesterday and spent the day with her. she was so thankful she cried. she's so lonely.
i love her so much.
so today we found out the cancer had spread.
going in to remove the tunor might have done more damage than good. but at the time it was a must, since bile was going into her blood stream causing an infection.
my father was at the hospital today with all of his bros and sisters. my titi (aunt in spanish) mickey was crying so hard, eddie had to take her home. i remember when papa was dying how hard my mother and titi lillian took it. and that second he stopped breathing. ...
it was like, i knew it was coming. he'd stop... then start. then stop... and then he never started again.
my mom was dialing my uncle's number. then titi lillian yelled, he stopped! oh my GOD! he stopped breathing he's not breathing!!!
then everyone started crying really loud, and i jsut held my mom really close, but she just couldn't stand up, and was just in so much pain. lillian's husband was there.
i couldn't believe it. but i could, and i had to be strong. my mom loved him so much. there will be times when she'll/we'll just start crying. his laugh. his hands. everything that's anything love. Love. Love. Love. loving a human being. loving a dog. loving that living breathing creature that looks back at you. that responds. that has an affect of ur life.
to be here
then to be gone.
what if you love it to be here. and there's so much happiness with it.
that change is so hard to deal with.
my nana was married to papa for 55 years!
i havn't even been living that long.
he was amazing.
i video the last year of his life.
i can't watch them yet. but one day i'll make a documentary.
now my grandma.
i went to go see her today and she jsut kept telling me how much she loved me and how beautiful i was. i don't want her to die.
they think she won't be able to do the chemo and radiation b.c. of her diabetes and bad heart.
i really don't want her to die. aww my poor daddy. i hope he's ok. his dad died over 10 years ago.
i'll go see her tomorrow before we start errands.
staying healthy is so important b.c. it'll kik you in the ass sooner or later. sound is the last to go... with the mind all there, it's such a tragedy to have ur body fail you.
eat well (vegetables). exercise. drink 8 -8oz a day. don't smoke, drink alot. just show ur body love and appreciate. it's so good to you. :-)