nothin
Hey guyz...i've been felling really depressed lately! i know it doesn't show at all but i have...i always try to hide my emotions. anyway yesterday i was so pissed b/c all my friends where saying that i was being mean but really i was acting like i always do...i always joke around with everybody..it's what i do you all know that...but yeah and then that day after school i was hanging out w/york for like a half hour and he said that i was being mean and that pissed me off b/c everybody that day said the same thing! But yeah i've got all this shit that i need to just let go of but i can't...i used to talk to bj about everything that bothered me and everything that i worried or stressed about and he always knew how to make things better and how to make me be happy again!! It suck's not haveing him around...I have talked to him on the phone quit a lot but it's not the same. I don't know i mean yeah i still love him and always will..but i don't want to get stuck in that mess again!!!!!!! i don't know i think i'm gonna go to lunch w/him sat. so i can talk and he can talk and we can just get it all out in the open. I mean he knows about york and he knows that were not getting back together but i just really need to talk to him....just so i can get a grip and relize that i'm not a failure and that i do have friends and gosd that state crap is still bothering me cuz i haven't had a chance to just get it out!!!!!!! well anyway........oh today i talked to the sullivan chick and yeah i really wanty to go there. I would be in college for 18 months and then i would be down ... I love it. Well yeah i guess thats all for now ttyl love you all tooDles!!!!!!!!