I hope it's not too long for you.
Who wants to hear about My crazy life? oh, you sitting there zoning out at your computer? Well Ok.
hmm.. Let's see..
So I'm still working at the Breaktime. It's cool. I like it well enough. There's the average drama and shit. People are terrible at covering shifts for one another. And I don't work any shifts with Mike at all anymore. Working with him made the shift go by so much more quickly. And he's a blast. And our new beer stocker is total Shit. He doesn't do half his job. And he's not entertaining. intolerable really.
So, I've been shut down three times in the past month or so when trying to get with people. I swear It's this magic trick I've got. Here's how it works.. hope I don't ruin the glamour of it for those of you watching the show. I go all googly eyed at someone. They go all googly eyed back, or show mild interest, who's to say. I hesitate as I'm prone to do. I look at the situation to make sure I'm not making it up and they really are interested back. Then I go for the kill. To ask them out or put the moves on them or whatever. And they Run away. No really, it's amazing. Great party trick. So I was totally up in smoke interested in Risha. Evidently it was just blatantly obvious painted on my face and everyone knew it. Sorry for being so readable by the by. I hesitated, took my time to figure out if she was maybe really interested. Was pretty sure she really was. Got all antsy about how on earth you are supposed to make the first move on a girl, asked lots of people got lots of information to make sure I wasn't going to screw it up. Went to make the move. She totally freaked out and ran away. Then she got mixed up with some other chick which broke my little blossoming Bi-sexual heart. I freaked out for about a day and then got control of myself and realized that wasn't doing me any good. So I let it go. I figured, I'd put my fifty cents worth of effort in and there was going to be a dollar's worth it'd be up to her.
Prior to that I'd had this little crush on the brother of a guy I work with. Cool ass kid he is. We keep hanging out at work. We can talk for a while and not get bored. Ya know, all that jazz. It's really cool just chilling with him. Low stress. My sort of environment. Then one day he convinces me I need to take him to the movies. Sure whatever.. that might be a date? Don't freak out about I tell myself. I doll myself up that day to go and all. And he totally stands me up, so I think. Turns out something more sinister was happening to him but it's all cool. He does his thing he's starting to get better, between then and now I had my throw at Shurisha. And his brother starts giving me trouble, becuase I mentioned maybe liking him or something. Starts telling me I just need to take him. Once again I hesitate. I'm not really the sort of person to do that. I'm too laid back for it. I keep getting trouble about it so I decide I'll tentatively figure out if he likes me. Ok so not so subtley I have to admit. I just straight up said we should go on a date. And then he went "Ehh...." and I ran to cover my tracks and made it a joke. I was talking to his brother and he told me I was wrong. So I decide rather than keeping playing games I'd just straight out bring it up. So I do. Start in all light hearted talking about laughing at his brother. He says he doesn't want to date anyone at all right now for a couple of reasons, a) he doesn't want all the stress becuase well, he's got other shit he's dealing with right now. Which is true. and b) he doesn't want to date anyone because of what he's got even though it's not contagious or anything it just creeps him out. Is that a bad cop out I just got again? Well he does this thing where he says if he didn't have it then *insert shrug and possibly positve nod?*
Does that mean if he didn't have cancer he'd date me? I haven't worked up the energy to be worried about it. I don't think I will either. I'd rather be his friend than freak him out and have him run away. And he is a cool guy to hang out with. I'm glad I didn't just grab him and kiss him though. We talked about. It would have freaked him out.
Alternately, I haven't been getting worried about much of anything recently. I mean, things are happening, I could be worried. But they seem to just be rolling off.. like water on a duck or something. I've been going with the flow a lot. I'm much calmer for it. I think my roommates may believe I'm becoming a stoner or something. It's been coming up in conversation more frequently than I'm comfortable with. Not a stoner by the way. I'm quite thankful for the no stress policy I've got. I guess to some people maybe that seems careless and I should be more worried about stuff. But, there's alot of things that I don't have any control over, choices people make, things like that. I'm just not interested in having to follow everyone's every move and synchronize mine with theirs. I did get myself sort of bent out of shape the other day talking on the phone with my Roommate Lexy. It was good bent though. I guess technically I got bent into shape instead of out of. We were bent out of shape previously. She caught me when I was really tired and there-in more apt to just say what I had to say. I'm really bad at closing off. But I just busted loose and we had a really good conversation and figured some stuff (that was very important but previously avoided) out. Now we need to have a sister conversation to that with both Lexy and Tony but I'm sort of intimidated of it. Not becuase of Tony and Lexy particularly, nor the topics really. I'm scared that since I've said what I had to say once I'm going to get into it and not have anything to say the second time around and in the end there won't be any cumulative progress. It frightens me to let things stay the way they are. The situation is too tense.
Also, the search for an apartment continues. It's going to be a rough and very poor couple of months but By god I'm doing it. I yearn for that landmark in life with a vengance.
I think that really covers it. I'm doing lots of cool stuff and chilling out with lots of cool people. The number of people I know here grows more and more every day and I love it. I love the variety and the spice. But I'm glad I've got that core group of people to have at the center to have close through everything. Acquaintances are hit and miss but good friends are stuck like glue.
hmm.. Let's see..
So I'm still working at the Breaktime. It's cool. I like it well enough. There's the average drama and shit. People are terrible at covering shifts for one another. And I don't work any shifts with Mike at all anymore. Working with him made the shift go by so much more quickly. And he's a blast. And our new beer stocker is total Shit. He doesn't do half his job. And he's not entertaining. intolerable really.
So, I've been shut down three times in the past month or so when trying to get with people. I swear It's this magic trick I've got. Here's how it works.. hope I don't ruin the glamour of it for those of you watching the show. I go all googly eyed at someone. They go all googly eyed back, or show mild interest, who's to say. I hesitate as I'm prone to do. I look at the situation to make sure I'm not making it up and they really are interested back. Then I go for the kill. To ask them out or put the moves on them or whatever. And they Run away. No really, it's amazing. Great party trick. So I was totally up in smoke interested in Risha. Evidently it was just blatantly obvious painted on my face and everyone knew it. Sorry for being so readable by the by. I hesitated, took my time to figure out if she was maybe really interested. Was pretty sure she really was. Got all antsy about how on earth you are supposed to make the first move on a girl, asked lots of people got lots of information to make sure I wasn't going to screw it up. Went to make the move. She totally freaked out and ran away. Then she got mixed up with some other chick which broke my little blossoming Bi-sexual heart. I freaked out for about a day and then got control of myself and realized that wasn't doing me any good. So I let it go. I figured, I'd put my fifty cents worth of effort in and there was going to be a dollar's worth it'd be up to her.
Prior to that I'd had this little crush on the brother of a guy I work with. Cool ass kid he is. We keep hanging out at work. We can talk for a while and not get bored. Ya know, all that jazz. It's really cool just chilling with him. Low stress. My sort of environment. Then one day he convinces me I need to take him to the movies. Sure whatever.. that might be a date? Don't freak out about I tell myself. I doll myself up that day to go and all. And he totally stands me up, so I think. Turns out something more sinister was happening to him but it's all cool. He does his thing he's starting to get better, between then and now I had my throw at Shurisha. And his brother starts giving me trouble, becuase I mentioned maybe liking him or something. Starts telling me I just need to take him. Once again I hesitate. I'm not really the sort of person to do that. I'm too laid back for it. I keep getting trouble about it so I decide I'll tentatively figure out if he likes me. Ok so not so subtley I have to admit. I just straight up said we should go on a date. And then he went "Ehh...." and I ran to cover my tracks and made it a joke. I was talking to his brother and he told me I was wrong. So I decide rather than keeping playing games I'd just straight out bring it up. So I do. Start in all light hearted talking about laughing at his brother. He says he doesn't want to date anyone at all right now for a couple of reasons, a) he doesn't want all the stress becuase well, he's got other shit he's dealing with right now. Which is true. and b) he doesn't want to date anyone because of what he's got even though it's not contagious or anything it just creeps him out. Is that a bad cop out I just got again? Well he does this thing where he says if he didn't have it then *insert shrug and possibly positve nod?*
Does that mean if he didn't have cancer he'd date me? I haven't worked up the energy to be worried about it. I don't think I will either. I'd rather be his friend than freak him out and have him run away. And he is a cool guy to hang out with. I'm glad I didn't just grab him and kiss him though. We talked about. It would have freaked him out.
Alternately, I haven't been getting worried about much of anything recently. I mean, things are happening, I could be worried. But they seem to just be rolling off.. like water on a duck or something. I've been going with the flow a lot. I'm much calmer for it. I think my roommates may believe I'm becoming a stoner or something. It's been coming up in conversation more frequently than I'm comfortable with. Not a stoner by the way. I'm quite thankful for the no stress policy I've got. I guess to some people maybe that seems careless and I should be more worried about stuff. But, there's alot of things that I don't have any control over, choices people make, things like that. I'm just not interested in having to follow everyone's every move and synchronize mine with theirs. I did get myself sort of bent out of shape the other day talking on the phone with my Roommate Lexy. It was good bent though. I guess technically I got bent into shape instead of out of. We were bent out of shape previously. She caught me when I was really tired and there-in more apt to just say what I had to say. I'm really bad at closing off. But I just busted loose and we had a really good conversation and figured some stuff (that was very important but previously avoided) out. Now we need to have a sister conversation to that with both Lexy and Tony but I'm sort of intimidated of it. Not becuase of Tony and Lexy particularly, nor the topics really. I'm scared that since I've said what I had to say once I'm going to get into it and not have anything to say the second time around and in the end there won't be any cumulative progress. It frightens me to let things stay the way they are. The situation is too tense.
Also, the search for an apartment continues. It's going to be a rough and very poor couple of months but By god I'm doing it. I yearn for that landmark in life with a vengance.
I think that really covers it. I'm doing lots of cool stuff and chilling out with lots of cool people. The number of people I know here grows more and more every day and I love it. I love the variety and the spice. But I'm glad I've got that core group of people to have at the center to have close through everything. Acquaintances are hit and miss but good friends are stuck like glue.