Hello everybody. I've finally got the courage (thanks to
pint_of_shame , love you hun!) to post my first work of fanfiction ever. Of course it is Andrew/Justin. So, enjoy! And please be nice =)
Title: Letters
Author: UFOhelena
Pairing: Andrew/Justin
Rating: PG-13 or something
Summary: The title pretty much says it all ;)
I like you a lot
A
***
Hi Justin, I think you are so cool and cute.
A
***
Hello Justin. I don’t know how to tell you this. You probably don’t know me. I’m Andrew Van De Kamp, a year younger than you. It’s this thing I kinda like you. Like you know I think you’re beautiful. You probably think I’m all disgusting and stuff but I just needed to get this off my chest. I know it’s wrong and all, tell me I’ve been taught about sin since I was a kid., But every time I see you, I don’t really care if I’d go to hell, if I just got to touch you it might just be worth it. But if god exists, why would he forbid me to be happy? If you are what makes me happy. Why do I have these feelings if it’s so wrong? Why is there something wrong with my love? Why can’t it
***
Justin, it all got so wrong yesterday with the kiss. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted you to know who I am, what I am. Yes, I am gay. I thought that maybe you are too, but it was probably just wishful thinking. Yes, I kinda like you, and I’ve done for quite some time. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. Because I would rather have you as “just a friend” than not a friend at all. I just hope you will understand. Please forgive me.
Andrew
***
I am so sorry Justin! It was all so great, you were great. It was the best thing I’d ever done. Then all got wrong. Of course I’m gay! I just freaked out. Do you understand what my mom would do if she found out. Susan is one of her closest friends. If…when she finds out, I want to be the one telling her. But now is not the right time. I hope you can forgive me, I can understand if you don’t. What we did yesterday, I don’t think you know for how long I’ve been wanting to that with you. I almost feel addicted to you, I don’t know what I will do if I never get to be with you again.
***
I love you Justin. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t. I don’t think you have any clue how happy you make me. Every time I see you I get more addicted to you. You are so beautiful and kind and caring and funny and oh my god that sex would be impossible to find any complains about. I know I should tell you how I really feel, but I guess I’m afraid to lose you, that would kill me.
***
I HATE MY MOM! The bitch has sent me to some fucking camp for juvenile delinquents. Just because I pushed her a little, I mean, she was being a total bitch, she deserved it. I don’t know for how long they will make me stay here. It’s fucking terrible, we have to work like all the time, and the food is yucky, and worst of all you are not here! I think of you all the time, I miss you so… I know it’s only been a little while but you know how I get when I don’t meet you for some days I go fucking nuts. We don’t even get to make phone calls ,or anything I can’t stand not hearing your voice. I wish you could just come and take me out of here. I want to be with you!
Love you
Andrew
***
I need you right now. I just wish I could ring you and you could come and make everything better. Well, I suppose I could, but no I just can’t. I know this is so stupid of me. You tell me you don’t have eyes for any other guy but I can’t get why. You tell me I’m the best thing you know, I don’t get how I can be. I don’t want to love you, everything I love ends up hurting me, like my mom. And now my dad’s left me, they just called from the hospital, he didn’t make it. My mom has been crying hysterical, she would never cry like that if she lost me, and that hurts. I have to stop loving her. I don’t know what to do about you. I don’t wanna love you either, but every time I see you it’s like time stops and I don’t know why, I just wanna be with you. But I’m afraid you’ll leave me like everyone else. I don’t know if I could handle if you left me. I’d probably kill myself.
***
God how I hate that woman. She sent me back to the fucking camp. And this time I don’t seem to come up with a way of getting out of here. I can’t go with the “I’m gay”-thing twice. I don’t belong here, I haven’t even done anything. Ok, I did beat up that fucking asshole George, but he was fucking kissing her! Dad hasn’t even been dug back into the grave and there she goes dating that freak. He is a fucking nerd and a creep. I hate him, and I hate her! I miss you so Justin, if I get the chance to call you I will. I love you so much, I don’t think you understand…
Justin got really frightened as the door suddenly opened and Andrew entered the room. He tried to hide the letters he was holding in his hands but Andrew had already spotted them. He approached Justin looking really mad.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m sorry I just, er, my sock was under the bed and I just found…”
“These are my private things!” he almost screamed and ripped the letters out of his hands. Justin just looked at him for some seconds before he spoke.
“Why did you never tell me?” Andrew looked at him a bit surprised.
“Tell you what?”
“That you love me!” Andrew got speechless. “How could you write all these letters and never give them to me?” He just stood there trying to find the words.
“It’s self-preservation. I write down what’s on my mind, how I feel, or else I’d go crazy.”
“Why did you never post them?”
“I never meant to, I’m too much of a coward to do that.”
Justin walked over to him, took him in his arms and kissed him. And never had he loved the boy more than in that moment.