My note to you (if you ever try to find me again)
I wanted to have a nostalgic feeling, so I picked up my Nintendo DS and started playing Mario Kart. I started playing it, and I beat all of the computer players I was playing against. I smiled and realized that in the three years I haven't played, I still have what it takes to pwn anything. I remembered having to go online in order to have some type of competition. That didn't work. I remember bringing my DS to school so I can play against Danny Patterson in Math Class. It was fun playing with him, but ninth grade ended and we weren't in a class together anymore. Then I remember while you and me were talking on the phone one night. You mentioned to me that you got a Nintendo DS and you had Mario Kart.
I remembered racing you every single night we talked on the phone. You would make fun of me because I always played with Yoshi in the tractor, and I made fun of you because you didn't know how to drift around corners. You got angry at me because I drifted around corners when you didn't know how to... so I let you win sometimes. But that was alright, because I knew you let me win sometimes as well (for real. Who falls off the edge THAT much on Rainbow Road?).
I remembered how even after an entire day of arguing, we would play Mario Kart at night and all of our problems would resolve. You would trash talk me and I would trash talk you, but all of our frustrations with each other vented through the digital world and somehow disappeared somewhere between Mario Circuit and Bowser's Castle. All of our anger took the form of turtle shells and banana peels and ultimately ended up becoming nonexistent in the actual world. All of our troubles disappeared into the great digital world of 1s and 0s. And at the end of the race, we would turn our DSs off, and spend an hour and a half saying our goodbyes and taking turns telling the other how much we love them. Those were the best phone conversations I've ever had and maybe ever will have.
I decided tonight that I can't play Mario Kart anymore... not for a long time at least. It reminds me too much of the golden days. But before I turned off my DS, I looked at the "records" section. I remember smiling when I saw your name (you called yourself "big pimpin" on Mario Kart), and I saw our record. I beat you in 28 online matches, you beat me in 20. But then I saw the "last played on" date. It read "1/22/2008." My heart sank. Has it really been that long? This date is significant because it marked the beginning of the end, and I broke up with you two months later.
It's weird to me that even after being apart for three years, I still am reminded of you and the glory days. And these reminders aren't just limited to the digital world... there are also things in the physical world that make me think of you all the time. I drive by Sanora every single day and I immediately think of you. Certain songs come on the radio and I immediately think of you (recently it's been Nelly's "Just a Dream"). I drive by Church @ The River, I drive by Seminole High School, I drive by the Subway in the Wal-Mart Plaza on French Ave, I drive by the pizzaria on Riverwalk, or anything else, I think of you. Whenever I see anything that has to do with Russia, whenever I see a female singer, whenever I am teaching somebody guitar, whenever I hear a corny song on the radio, whenever I watch wedding shows with my mom (shut up, I'm not ghey), whenever I look at my old pictures on myspace, whenever I see orange and green together, whenever I think of Hanukkah, whenever I'm in a bead store, whenever I see an Ace of Diamonds, and whenever I hug someone, my mind drifts to you automatically like a magnet.
So this is my note to you. And I know your birthday just passed. I was trying to get a hold of you, like I've been trying to do for the past year, but you are completely invisible online. You do not know how badly I want to just talk to you. Just one conversation.
So if you ever find and read this, let me know. I still have the same phone number I've always had. I still have the same IM information I've always had. I'm living at the same house. Get a hold of me. I don't know how I'd feel if something happened to either one of us and I couldn't speak to you just one last time. Please just talk to me before it's too late.
And I've been biting my tongue about this subject for years,
but I'm unclenching my teeth.
Not a day has gone by where I haven't thought of you,
qhe * r33o 5yq5 o3qf8ht 697 2qw q 53448go3 j8w5qi3.
:-\
-AXH-
I remembered racing you every single night we talked on the phone. You would make fun of me because I always played with Yoshi in the tractor, and I made fun of you because you didn't know how to drift around corners. You got angry at me because I drifted around corners when you didn't know how to... so I let you win sometimes. But that was alright, because I knew you let me win sometimes as well (for real. Who falls off the edge THAT much on Rainbow Road?).
I remembered how even after an entire day of arguing, we would play Mario Kart at night and all of our problems would resolve. You would trash talk me and I would trash talk you, but all of our frustrations with each other vented through the digital world and somehow disappeared somewhere between Mario Circuit and Bowser's Castle. All of our anger took the form of turtle shells and banana peels and ultimately ended up becoming nonexistent in the actual world. All of our troubles disappeared into the great digital world of 1s and 0s. And at the end of the race, we would turn our DSs off, and spend an hour and a half saying our goodbyes and taking turns telling the other how much we love them. Those were the best phone conversations I've ever had and maybe ever will have.
I decided tonight that I can't play Mario Kart anymore... not for a long time at least. It reminds me too much of the golden days. But before I turned off my DS, I looked at the "records" section. I remember smiling when I saw your name (you called yourself "big pimpin" on Mario Kart), and I saw our record. I beat you in 28 online matches, you beat me in 20. But then I saw the "last played on" date. It read "1/22/2008." My heart sank. Has it really been that long? This date is significant because it marked the beginning of the end, and I broke up with you two months later.
It's weird to me that even after being apart for three years, I still am reminded of you and the glory days. And these reminders aren't just limited to the digital world... there are also things in the physical world that make me think of you all the time. I drive by Sanora every single day and I immediately think of you. Certain songs come on the radio and I immediately think of you (recently it's been Nelly's "Just a Dream"). I drive by Church @ The River, I drive by Seminole High School, I drive by the Subway in the Wal-Mart Plaza on French Ave, I drive by the pizzaria on Riverwalk, or anything else, I think of you. Whenever I see anything that has to do with Russia, whenever I see a female singer, whenever I am teaching somebody guitar, whenever I hear a corny song on the radio, whenever I watch wedding shows with my mom (shut up, I'm not ghey), whenever I look at my old pictures on myspace, whenever I see orange and green together, whenever I think of Hanukkah, whenever I'm in a bead store, whenever I see an Ace of Diamonds, and whenever I hug someone, my mind drifts to you automatically like a magnet.
So this is my note to you. And I know your birthday just passed. I was trying to get a hold of you, like I've been trying to do for the past year, but you are completely invisible online. You do not know how badly I want to just talk to you. Just one conversation.
So if you ever find and read this, let me know. I still have the same phone number I've always had. I still have the same IM information I've always had. I'm living at the same house. Get a hold of me. I don't know how I'd feel if something happened to either one of us and I couldn't speak to you just one last time. Please just talk to me before it's too late.
And I've been biting my tongue about this subject for years,
but I'm unclenching my teeth.
Not a day has gone by where I haven't thought of you,
qhe * r33o 5yq5 o3qf8ht 697 2qw q 53448go3 j8w5qi3.
:-\
-AXH-