Matthew 6:14-15
For the past few weeks I've been thinking about grudges. I've been thinking about how I've been holding grudges... how I've been just not even thinking twice about anything. I've been holding so many grudges it's almost hard to keep up with all of them. Understanding this burden, I went to the bible to see what it said about holding grudges. These verses I think explains it:
Matthew 6:14-15
14-For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15-But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
When I read that verse I almost immediately felt that I need to get these grudges off of my chest. I started thinking about everybody who I have been holding grudges against, and that lead to me learning more and more how many people I feel that I need to apologize to, which lead to me thinking a lot about people from my past.
I knew that I had to contact all of these people that I made a mental list in my head and tell them that I both forgive them and apologize to them for everything I have done. Tons of names came up.. especially people from my old youth group. Aaron, Valery, John, Keegan, Tim, Bree, Lindsay, Courtnee, Nny Nny, Forrest, and just about anyone I could think of. I wanted to contact them, but saying sorry is one of the hardest things to do. So I kept procrastinating it. I told myself "tomorrow you will try your best to contact them." The next day came around and I didn't try. This happened for weeks, and I just continued to procrastinate it. But something happened the other day and I had a wake up call. Something that just reminds you that you should have taken care of things like this as early as possible.
Courtnee died on Thursday morning. The plug was pulled about 24 hours after she suffered a brain anurism caused by drugs (please correct me if I'm wrong). My sister woke me up to tell me about it. As soon as she left my bedroom, I started texting everybody in my contact list on my phone. I wanted to tell them that I love them and that I'm sorry. I wanted to tell them all reasons why I love them and reasons why I wouldn't be the same without them.
This whole situation was a wake up call. I never got to apologize to Courtnee because of my own sloth and procrastination. Because I was too prideful to say a couple of words or to find her on facebook and send a message. I felt terrible. That's when I decided that I would not let a day go by where I haven't contacted someone and apologized for my wrong doing. I've already contacted a lot of people, but I still haven't contacted enough.
Obviously there were a couple of major people on my list. Aaron was probably the first person. Yes, that's right. I said it. I wrote Aaron a note and left it on his doorstep telling him that I forgave him. I sent messages to a ton of people on Facebook telling them that I love them and that I'm sorry. I told everybody in my family that I love them. I told all of my closer friends that I love them... I even told all of those acquaintances that you don't speak to very much that I love them.
But I feel bad because there is one more major person on my list that I need to apologize to; Valery. She seems to have blocked me on every single social networking site, messaging service, and almost everything else. But, guys. If you know of a way I could contact Valery... phone, text, IM, email, anything... let me know. This is important to me. I need to talk to her. I won't let another day go by.
Nobody is promised another day.
So make your difference today.
Hug your families and love your friends, guys.
Because you never know what tomorrow will hold.
-AXH-
Matthew 6:14-15
14-For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15-But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
When I read that verse I almost immediately felt that I need to get these grudges off of my chest. I started thinking about everybody who I have been holding grudges against, and that lead to me learning more and more how many people I feel that I need to apologize to, which lead to me thinking a lot about people from my past.
I knew that I had to contact all of these people that I made a mental list in my head and tell them that I both forgive them and apologize to them for everything I have done. Tons of names came up.. especially people from my old youth group. Aaron, Valery, John, Keegan, Tim, Bree, Lindsay, Courtnee, Nny Nny, Forrest, and just about anyone I could think of. I wanted to contact them, but saying sorry is one of the hardest things to do. So I kept procrastinating it. I told myself "tomorrow you will try your best to contact them." The next day came around and I didn't try. This happened for weeks, and I just continued to procrastinate it. But something happened the other day and I had a wake up call. Something that just reminds you that you should have taken care of things like this as early as possible.
Courtnee died on Thursday morning. The plug was pulled about 24 hours after she suffered a brain anurism caused by drugs (please correct me if I'm wrong). My sister woke me up to tell me about it. As soon as she left my bedroom, I started texting everybody in my contact list on my phone. I wanted to tell them that I love them and that I'm sorry. I wanted to tell them all reasons why I love them and reasons why I wouldn't be the same without them.
This whole situation was a wake up call. I never got to apologize to Courtnee because of my own sloth and procrastination. Because I was too prideful to say a couple of words or to find her on facebook and send a message. I felt terrible. That's when I decided that I would not let a day go by where I haven't contacted someone and apologized for my wrong doing. I've already contacted a lot of people, but I still haven't contacted enough.
Obviously there were a couple of major people on my list. Aaron was probably the first person. Yes, that's right. I said it. I wrote Aaron a note and left it on his doorstep telling him that I forgave him. I sent messages to a ton of people on Facebook telling them that I love them and that I'm sorry. I told everybody in my family that I love them. I told all of my closer friends that I love them... I even told all of those acquaintances that you don't speak to very much that I love them.
But I feel bad because there is one more major person on my list that I need to apologize to; Valery. She seems to have blocked me on every single social networking site, messaging service, and almost everything else. But, guys. If you know of a way I could contact Valery... phone, text, IM, email, anything... let me know. This is important to me. I need to talk to her. I won't let another day go by.
Nobody is promised another day.
So make your difference today.
Hug your families and love your friends, guys.
Because you never know what tomorrow will hold.
-AXH-