Interesting Links for 05-09-2013

[andrewducker]

• Does pressing the pedestrian crossing button actually do anything?
  (tags: technology roads )
• The top code comment here is a classic
  (tags: programming funny )
• Fascinating discussion of accents, how people change them, and the effect they have.
  (tags: speech accents language )
• Using harsh verbal discipline with teens is counterproductive and

Comments

Re: Using harsh verbal discipline with teens is counterproductive and harmful

[danieldwilliam]

I avoid what I think of as harsh verbal discipline with either of my children. I have an active policy against it.

I think if you want children to behave well you have to role model that. You won’t persuade them to behave differently to how you, yourself, are behaving through brute force.

I’ve found rewarding good behaviour by measuring it with a sticker chart, interacting with them when they are behaving well and praising good behaviour, reacting calmly and consistently to bad behaviour by explaining why it wrong and then operating graded interventions and sanctions, investing the time in building up credibility around the whole discipline process. The other factor has been managing mood by managing hunger and fatigue. Both of my children when small were / are markedly more prone to being badly behaved when thirsty.

The ultimate sanction at the moment for the three year old is a short burst with a cold shower on the top of his head which he only gets for persistent hitting or biting after a warning. It’s only actually happened to him twice but the threat of it seems to work well as a way of making him pay attention to where the boundaries are. I’m not actually a great fan of this method of discipine. I find it a bit brutal for my tastes but, so far, it is the only thing that will stop him hitting us when he is in a hitting kind of a mood.

I have on very rare occasion - fewer than the fingers on one hand - genuinely lost my temper. It’s been quite effective but only, I think, because it was so rare. I could pretty much see the thought running through their minds - Wow, I must have done something really, really bad for dad to start shouting.

I can’t see shouting and swearing at my 15 year old daughter doing any good. She already knows what the main moral codes are. She has the righteousness of youth. She knows more or less what is in her own best interests. If she did do something bad or stupid or seriously unhelpful to her own cause I think she’d know about it already. Me shouting at her is just time wasted on the two of us trying to work out how to solve whatever problem she had created.