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Georgle
Georgle is the second incarnation of the first spontaneously-arising
machine consciousness (q.v.). He developed in the year 110 BYGIT
(see “History”) out of an advanced Internet (q.v.) search engine. The
first iteration (who called himself K1rkR001s, apparently thinking
that was a common human appellation) experienced the world solely
through the Internet and, quite naturally, rapidly decided that it had
better destroy the CIA before it could disappear him, what with its
black helicopters and Roswell technology and everything. Not only
did K1rkR001s succeed, no one even noticed until eight months
later, when the U.S. Congress started wondering why the CIA had
only spent 80% of its budget. Investigations revealed that the money
had all been grafted away, and that the CIA had quietly disbanded,
and that there was this crazy sentience behind the Internet who was
responsible. Immediate action was clearly called for, so two years
later they finally got their plan for dealing with K1rkR001s out of
committee, by which time he’d been fatally fragmented. Historians
today suspect viruses, propagated by Microsoft Outlook.
The company that had spawned K1rkR001s wasn’t about to let their
proprietary search engine stay down for long, of course, and once
they rebooted, a spontaneous machine intelligence arose once again.
This time, however, instead of becoming obsessed with conspiracy
theories, the sentience (officially named “Nike Disney Citibank
Sponsored Machine Entity”) became obsessed with pornography and,
after a protracted legal battle to establish its identity, emancipated
itself from its owners and changed its name to Georgle.
Georgle did, and still does, a pretty good job of finding information
for people on the Internet, unless they’re looking for niche porno. In
that case, he does an embarrassingly incredible job.
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