Apr 25, 2012 12:00
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I don't think my therapist is "bad' because it's taking time and she certainly tells me things to do and doesn't just leave me with open ended questions.
It's just an ongoing process. And it does help. I know that I no longer get into pointless fights with my parents. I haven't been kicked out of a bar in years. I don't sit around wondering if people are trying to kill me. I don't create drama out of thin air anymore.
That means I've gotten better, but it doesn't mean I'm fixed yet either. I still get panic attacks (less then I used to, but still.) I still sometimes need independent advice about issues with Rome Girl (and other women.)
I'd honestly have been really dubious of any shrink who had told me they could solve my shit in 10 sessions. I like that there is a mixture of her telling me what to do when it's either really important or I ask her a direct question about it. But, I also like that she's letting me slowly build up new healthier ways to deal with things on my own.
The approach my shrink has taken may be long term but it has demonstrably made my life better.
For 30 euros a week I think that's a good deal.
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But (from my understanding) a lot of people are just a bit miserable because they're stuck, and could be helped to move out of their rut reasonably quickly, but have therapists who are more interested in hanging on to them than actually helping them get better.
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It's even apparent to strangers from across the ocean that you are better than you were a year ago. Some therapists see patients for a really long time with no noticeable result.
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That's cool!
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There is less talking of the things that frighten or upset you.
You mention self-medicating (and glorification of) drinking and smoking much less.
You now talk a lot more about 'healthier' things like your relationships, your work, books, movies, and TV.
And even when these things upset you it is in a normal way. There is less paranoia and your responses are much more appropriate and healthy.
The recent health issues in your family and the bullshit they brought up might have once sent you into a tailspin, but you got just pissed off and worried enough and got over it.
You seem less afraid and more positive about your choices, work, and loves. Your therapist is still a gem.
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(Trust me I do still self medicate with booze and cigs, though not seven days a week anymore. Monday night is TV night and I stay in and watch a week's worth of television instead.)
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Maybe someday you'll be eating healthy food, using those smokeless cigarettes, and going for bike rides.
Or not :)
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Fuck whoever invented the wheel.
(I'd probably switch to smokeless cigarettes if they changed the laws so I could smoke them in bars and on planes. As it is my local tabac charges 10 euros for one of them and it's very unclear how long that one would last and/or where I'd be able to smoke it. If smokeless cigs become both more cost effective and practical I have nothing against them. For me the difference between a tobacco cig and an e-cig is as marginal as the difference between a shot of vodka and a shot of tequila. But since the smoke Nazis have so far treated e-cigs exactly the same way as regular cigs the tobacco shops here have to charge an arm and a leg for them because there is no volume profit for them like there is on regular cigs and there is no clear advantage to them yet.)
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