Early morning walks
Last night I suddenly and randomly fell quite ill. One second I was fine, but the next I was suddenly sick and felt extremely weak and was shaking all over and had a throbbing headache. So I curled up in bed and just went to sleep, after worrying Svenja. I woke up at 6AM this morning, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I went for a walk down to the quay. It really helped and clear my head about everything, and also made me feel a little better.
It was a very calming experience: the town was covered in darkness, and it was silent. I walked through the quiet town, down towards to quay, where the Slaney meets to Irish sea. I walked along the quay, looking up at the stars - but mainly at Venus. The fishermen were preparing their boats for the day ahead. There was something very Irish about them: oldish chaps, the kind you'd see in the pub at the bar with a pint of stout, with an opinion on everything; or pushing a bicycle up a hill. Those sort of chaps.
I carried on walking, and came to the sea wall. I sat on the wall, facing out to sea, alone with my own problems and thoughts. I thought about everything going on, and came to a good few decisions about what I should do, and what it is I want. I'm not going into these things here, though. It wouldn't be fair until Svenja and I have had a chance to talk first. Needless to say, however, I know exactly what I want, and how I feel.
It was interesting to watch Wexford slowly come to life in the morning: the bread and milk vans were starting to make their way across town to delivery today's bread and milk to the various shops about town; somewhere in the distance a car had trouble starting, probably meaning the driver was going to be later.
The world was waking up. The sky went from black to dark blue, and the stars slowly began to fade away, but Venus still shined brightly in the dawn sky. It was reassuring, in a strange way, and it did kind of help me. It was a very relaxing and calming experience, as I said, and I can't tell how relaxed I was after wards. The effect is still in place as well.
Svenja and I are talking about everything tomorrow evening, so that's when I know what's going to happen. Until then, though, I'm going to try and avoid letting it play on my mind. There's little I can do until then to change anything, so why let it worry me? Exactly. No reason. However, this experience has taught me a few things, and I've indentified my 'problems' which led to this, and caused problems before. Now it's time to get these problems fixed, to make myself a better person!
It was a very calming experience: the town was covered in darkness, and it was silent. I walked through the quiet town, down towards to quay, where the Slaney meets to Irish sea. I walked along the quay, looking up at the stars - but mainly at Venus. The fishermen were preparing their boats for the day ahead. There was something very Irish about them: oldish chaps, the kind you'd see in the pub at the bar with a pint of stout, with an opinion on everything; or pushing a bicycle up a hill. Those sort of chaps.
I carried on walking, and came to the sea wall. I sat on the wall, facing out to sea, alone with my own problems and thoughts. I thought about everything going on, and came to a good few decisions about what I should do, and what it is I want. I'm not going into these things here, though. It wouldn't be fair until Svenja and I have had a chance to talk first. Needless to say, however, I know exactly what I want, and how I feel.
It was interesting to watch Wexford slowly come to life in the morning: the bread and milk vans were starting to make their way across town to delivery today's bread and milk to the various shops about town; somewhere in the distance a car had trouble starting, probably meaning the driver was going to be later.
The world was waking up. The sky went from black to dark blue, and the stars slowly began to fade away, but Venus still shined brightly in the dawn sky. It was reassuring, in a strange way, and it did kind of help me. It was a very relaxing and calming experience, as I said, and I can't tell how relaxed I was after wards. The effect is still in place as well.
Svenja and I are talking about everything tomorrow evening, so that's when I know what's going to happen. Until then, though, I'm going to try and avoid letting it play on my mind. There's little I can do until then to change anything, so why let it worry me? Exactly. No reason. However, this experience has taught me a few things, and I've indentified my 'problems' which led to this, and caused problems before. Now it's time to get these problems fixed, to make myself a better person!