Denial This!
You know you've spent too much time on the Internet when one of your friend's assertions that you're gay drives you into a homicidal rage. It's just something I've had to deal with ever since I was little, the most disturbing episode being when an older boy from my school HIT ON ME. Guhhh...
Now, don't get me wrong-Gay/bi/whatever people: I don't agree with your lifestyle and I don't like it, but it's essentially the same dislike one would have of another person's T-Shirt preference. I don't like it, but I'm not about to stab or beat someone to death for it. I do in fact have a number of bi friends and they're great. One is like my big sister and I care for her very deeply.
But Jesus! Why is it that some assholes keep saying I'm gay and the only reason I get angry about it is because I'm in denial?! I get angry about it because CERTAIN ASSHOLES continue to insist I'm gay and annoy me with their constant badgering about it. Which has occurred frequently throughout my life for a variety of reasons.
Apparently, I am "gay" because my cheeks and lips were so red I MUST be using makeup (No, I'm just somewhat pasty and lick my lips out of nervousness).
Apparently, I am "gay" because I like ballet music (like Firebird and Petrushka and other great works by Stravinsky and Tchaikovsky. Russian ballet owns!). What? They are awesome stories, the music is complex and awe-inspiring, and there's fighting and blood and other stereotypical guy things in there! Sheesh!
Apparently, I am "gay" because I'm not a big fan of organized sports (I understand the games, I just don't have a lot of emotional investment in which team wins. My dad is a diehard UGA fan, and I watch the games with him and I like sharing the experience, but I just don't feel like cursing or jumping up and down about it).
Apparently, I am "gay" because I give my friends who are guys hugs (Hey, when you hear your friend's brother has died in a car accident, you'd hug him too! Not because I want to feel him up, but because sometimes you can only convey comfort through a hug.)
Apparently, I am "gay" because I am polite and a little uptight (No, I'm just polite by nature and don't enjoy "verbal roughhousing" as much as "normal" guys do). Just because I don't hoot and holler over every hot woman who walks by doesn't mean I don't NOTICE how hot she is. Or appreciate it.
YES! As much as it pains me to admit it because I was raised to despise perverts and treat women with the utmost respect, I HAVE UNDRESSED WOMEN WITH MY EYES! I fantasize about women! I LIKE BOOBS! I feel guilty about fantasizing about my friends who are women because it seems to demean them! But I do it anyway! Please note, I FANTASIZE ABOUT WOMEN. I am ATTRACTED TO WOMEN. Men who act like women ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE TO ME IN THE SLIGHTEST-In fact it's just very, very wrong to me.
Where were we? Oh yeah.
Apparently, I am "gay" because I have more women friends than men. (I have in fact gone on a number of dates with girls who were my friends, and we decided to STAY friends. Even after I made a few mistakes in regards to the difference between friends and more-than-friends, which I deeply regretted. But yes, I associate more easily with women than men, because they usually share more interests with me. And no, those interests do NOT include men.)
And finally (and my all time favorite), I am apparently "gay" because I get angry and defensive about being called gay. Which, naturally, is a sure sign of DENIAL. Yes yes, of COURSE, it's ALWAYS denial in the eyes of people who read Freud but don't understand a damn thing he was trying to say.
One, I was the target of sexual harassment at my middle school BY A GUY. An upperclassman. This is the real root of most of my issues with being called gay, because it brings up feelings of helplessness, of being a victim. I finally slugged the bastard and he left me alone. Does being sexually harassed change your sexuality? No. Does it make you frightened and feel weird and/or different? Does it make you feel like there's something wrong with you for some sicko to get his jollies off by picking on you this way? That's a BIG FREAKING YES!
Two, I get angry because I have been called things for a variety of reasons over the course of my life that are not true and being called something I'm not (like psycho, or freak, or monster, or bum) just because I'm different has always irritated me and probably ALWAYS will, because I felt different enough growing up without a mother and HATED being different, because it made me feel broken, inhuman, and an outcast (which, BTW, is a good example of true psychoanalysis).
Three, my violent reaction is because CERTAIN PEOPLE DO NOT GET THE GOD DAMNED MESSAGE that I don't like my SEXUALITY being made the subject of a joke! Make a joke about my insecurities, make a joke about my unusual habits or faults! I freely admit I have many that can be made fun of, but the "gay" joke has just gotten OLD. And when someone makes the same goddamned joke over and over and over again you'd get fed up too!
So yes, fine, by all means you bastards, call me gay! Go ahead! Call my angry outbursts denial! I'm not going to bother to change your minds because if you keep insisting on it every time we talk, I'm not going to fucking talk to you anymore! Find someone else to torment!
I AM ME! I will act however I damn well please and I will get angry and rant about anything I want! And if THAT somehow makes me gay in your twisted minds, then fine! I'd rather be gay than a fucking moron like you!
Now, don't get me wrong-Gay/bi/whatever people: I don't agree with your lifestyle and I don't like it, but it's essentially the same dislike one would have of another person's T-Shirt preference. I don't like it, but I'm not about to stab or beat someone to death for it. I do in fact have a number of bi friends and they're great. One is like my big sister and I care for her very deeply.
But Jesus! Why is it that some assholes keep saying I'm gay and the only reason I get angry about it is because I'm in denial?! I get angry about it because CERTAIN ASSHOLES continue to insist I'm gay and annoy me with their constant badgering about it. Which has occurred frequently throughout my life for a variety of reasons.
Apparently, I am "gay" because my cheeks and lips were so red I MUST be using makeup (No, I'm just somewhat pasty and lick my lips out of nervousness).
Apparently, I am "gay" because I like ballet music (like Firebird and Petrushka and other great works by Stravinsky and Tchaikovsky. Russian ballet owns!). What? They are awesome stories, the music is complex and awe-inspiring, and there's fighting and blood and other stereotypical guy things in there! Sheesh!
Apparently, I am "gay" because I'm not a big fan of organized sports (I understand the games, I just don't have a lot of emotional investment in which team wins. My dad is a diehard UGA fan, and I watch the games with him and I like sharing the experience, but I just don't feel like cursing or jumping up and down about it).
Apparently, I am "gay" because I give my friends who are guys hugs (Hey, when you hear your friend's brother has died in a car accident, you'd hug him too! Not because I want to feel him up, but because sometimes you can only convey comfort through a hug.)
Apparently, I am "gay" because I am polite and a little uptight (No, I'm just polite by nature and don't enjoy "verbal roughhousing" as much as "normal" guys do). Just because I don't hoot and holler over every hot woman who walks by doesn't mean I don't NOTICE how hot she is. Or appreciate it.
YES! As much as it pains me to admit it because I was raised to despise perverts and treat women with the utmost respect, I HAVE UNDRESSED WOMEN WITH MY EYES! I fantasize about women! I LIKE BOOBS! I feel guilty about fantasizing about my friends who are women because it seems to demean them! But I do it anyway! Please note, I FANTASIZE ABOUT WOMEN. I am ATTRACTED TO WOMEN. Men who act like women ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE TO ME IN THE SLIGHTEST-In fact it's just very, very wrong to me.
Where were we? Oh yeah.
Apparently, I am "gay" because I have more women friends than men. (I have in fact gone on a number of dates with girls who were my friends, and we decided to STAY friends. Even after I made a few mistakes in regards to the difference between friends and more-than-friends, which I deeply regretted. But yes, I associate more easily with women than men, because they usually share more interests with me. And no, those interests do NOT include men.)
And finally (and my all time favorite), I am apparently "gay" because I get angry and defensive about being called gay. Which, naturally, is a sure sign of DENIAL. Yes yes, of COURSE, it's ALWAYS denial in the eyes of people who read Freud but don't understand a damn thing he was trying to say.
One, I was the target of sexual harassment at my middle school BY A GUY. An upperclassman. This is the real root of most of my issues with being called gay, because it brings up feelings of helplessness, of being a victim. I finally slugged the bastard and he left me alone. Does being sexually harassed change your sexuality? No. Does it make you frightened and feel weird and/or different? Does it make you feel like there's something wrong with you for some sicko to get his jollies off by picking on you this way? That's a BIG FREAKING YES!
Two, I get angry because I have been called things for a variety of reasons over the course of my life that are not true and being called something I'm not (like psycho, or freak, or monster, or bum) just because I'm different has always irritated me and probably ALWAYS will, because I felt different enough growing up without a mother and HATED being different, because it made me feel broken, inhuman, and an outcast (which, BTW, is a good example of true psychoanalysis).
Three, my violent reaction is because CERTAIN PEOPLE DO NOT GET THE GOD DAMNED MESSAGE that I don't like my SEXUALITY being made the subject of a joke! Make a joke about my insecurities, make a joke about my unusual habits or faults! I freely admit I have many that can be made fun of, but the "gay" joke has just gotten OLD. And when someone makes the same goddamned joke over and over and over again you'd get fed up too!
So yes, fine, by all means you bastards, call me gay! Go ahead! Call my angry outbursts denial! I'm not going to bother to change your minds because if you keep insisting on it every time we talk, I'm not going to fucking talk to you anymore! Find someone else to torment!
I AM ME! I will act however I damn well please and I will get angry and rant about anything I want! And if THAT somehow makes me gay in your twisted minds, then fine! I'd rather be gay than a fucking moron like you!