Thoughts...
You get subtle hints, but when there is the clear statement that you aren’t making someone happy, what do you do?
Do you try to fix it? What if there is nothing to fix, what if it’s just you?
Maybe I’m too old to keep trying, no matter how important it might be. Decisions have consequences, and perhaps it’s time for me to stop, and walk away. I should keep telling myself that “it wouldn’t have worked out anyway…” Of course the correct path is to blame myself, it’s not anyone else’s fault, rhyme or reason.
I have to start pulling myself away from her, clearly someone else is bringing joy, and that means I didn’t do my best to show that I could do the same. I’m always one step behind, always taking a backseat, I’m always late.
That’s who I am, I just pick up the slack, the leftovers. I don’t really mind it anymore, I never wanted to be recognized at work for my deeds, or my personal life.
I’m not even that social anymore, there isn’t anything interesting that would keep people around. My life revolves around being at airports, airplanes, hotels and working all day and night.
I like serving others, I like walking into a situation, and fixing problems, finding solutions, but that can only take me so far. That used to bring me so much joy, but there is no reward. It’s hard to be the one that jumps in, then once I’ve outlived my usefulness, I am just forgotten.
The few times I have asked for something, something I really want, I have come to realize that it’s not worth asking, because it leads to rejection.
I just need to keep my head low, keep working hard, maybe it will pay off. That’s all I really have left to look forward to.
Do you try to fix it? What if there is nothing to fix, what if it’s just you?
Maybe I’m too old to keep trying, no matter how important it might be. Decisions have consequences, and perhaps it’s time for me to stop, and walk away. I should keep telling myself that “it wouldn’t have worked out anyway…” Of course the correct path is to blame myself, it’s not anyone else’s fault, rhyme or reason.
I have to start pulling myself away from her, clearly someone else is bringing joy, and that means I didn’t do my best to show that I could do the same. I’m always one step behind, always taking a backseat, I’m always late.
That’s who I am, I just pick up the slack, the leftovers. I don’t really mind it anymore, I never wanted to be recognized at work for my deeds, or my personal life.
I’m not even that social anymore, there isn’t anything interesting that would keep people around. My life revolves around being at airports, airplanes, hotels and working all day and night.
I like serving others, I like walking into a situation, and fixing problems, finding solutions, but that can only take me so far. That used to bring me so much joy, but there is no reward. It’s hard to be the one that jumps in, then once I’ve outlived my usefulness, I am just forgotten.
The few times I have asked for something, something I really want, I have come to realize that it’s not worth asking, because it leads to rejection.
I just need to keep my head low, keep working hard, maybe it will pay off. That’s all I really have left to look forward to.