If I Were Oscar (Race to the 81st Academy Awards)
AND THE NOMINEES ARE...
The Academy snubbed Leonardo DiCaprio for Revolutionary Road bigtime and Clint Eastwood for Gran Torino. Well, Clint has a museum of Oscar trophies, anyway. But Leo has nothing but a museum of nominations.
IF I WERE OSCAR, I would give Leonardo DiCaprio the curious Benjamin's spot anytime.
It’s going to be a tough battle between the wrestler and the gay activist. The Golden Globes went with Rourke's comeback performance, while the New York Film Critics Circle Award & the Screen Actors Guild Awards went with Sean Penn. Usually, the SAG predits the Oscar acting winners. So, at the moment, Penn leads 1-2. But if there’s going to be an upset, it will come from Frank Langella's impressive portrayal of Nixon.
Brad Pitt is never going to win for his non-acting in Button. And if in any twist of malicious fate that he does, it's just the Academy's make up for his non-nomination for Babel two years ago. But that's just complete bullcrap.
IF I WERE OSCAR, I would give Sean Penn's 2nd Oscar statuette.
BUT I'M NOT. So, Mickey Rourke will have his first Oscar.
I THINK there is an Academy rule that no person may be nominated twice in the same category. Probably why we don't see another Kate Winslet for Revolutionary Road. We also don't see Cate Blanchett this year. How could they not give a nomination to the better half of TCCOBB and instead, fool us with Brad's?
The biggest upset for me is the non-nomination of Sally Hawkins for Happy-Go-Lucky. WTF, ACADEMY!
IF I WERE OSCAR, I drop Melissa Leo and Anne Hathaway from the list in exchange for Sally Hawkins and a second nomination for Kate Winslet for Revolutionary.
This is the year of Kate. Whether the nomination is for Revolutionary or The Reader, she's the one to beat. It's finally time for Kate to have her first taste of the golden statuette. But if the Academy thinks otherwise, it's going to be Meryl's nth. But not Angelina's 2nd nor Anne's first. Anne's probably too young to have a taste of it.
IF I WERE OSCAR, Kate Winslet would taste sweet victory.
AND EVEN IF I'M NOT, Kate Winslet will still do.
Milk has a handful of notable support performances this year: James Franco, Emile Hirsch, and Diego Luna. A nomination for one of them would have been great. And a Brad Pitt nomination for his support role in Burn After Reading would have been more fit.
IF I WERE OSCAR, I would drop Robert Downey Jr. and replace him with Brad Pitt.
Heath Ledger is the sure winner for this one. And not because of his death.
Michael Shannon finishes with a distant 2nd place.
IF I WERE OSCAR, Heath Ledger would win.
AND EVEN IF I’M NOT, he will still do.
Now that they’ve fittingly put Kate’s The Reader performance in the lead category, unlike in the Golden Globes & SAG Awards, the race is on between Penelope Cruz and Viola Davis. And this one is really tough to call. Both have been nominated before and never won. In keeping with the theme of “first-time winners”, it can really be either one’s game. Not to mention that they both do deserve the win. Though, a surprise can come from Benjamin Button’s adoptive mother, Taraji P. Henson.
Amy Adams deserves the nomination. She’s good but she’s not quite there yet. Marisa Tomei, on the other hand, baffles me with her nomination.
IF I WERE OSCAR, Viola Davis would win over Penelope by a slight advantage.
BUT I’M NOT. So, Penelope Cruz will complete the acting foursome.
I wonder why Waltz With Bashir is foreign enough to be nominated for Best Foreign Film but not animated enough to be nominated also here. Igor would have been great to be nominated.
We all know what’s going to win.
IF I WERE OSCAR OR NOT, Wall-E is this year’s Best Animated Feature Film.
Boo for not including Revolutionary Road! How could the Academy snub one of the more well-written pieces this year?
IF I WERE OSCAR, Frost/Nixon would get the trophy, for turning a boring topic into an exciting story.
BUT I’M NOT. So, Slumdog Millionaire will get all the loving.
This is another tough one to call. This year, the Academy and Writers Guild Awards’ nominees for Original Screenplay only have Milk as a common denominator. WGA’s other four are Burn After Reading, The Reader, Vicky Cristina Barcelona & The Visitor.
IF I WERE OSCAR, Happy-Go-Lucky would be happy to win this.
BUT I’M NOT. So it will probably be Milk. Or Wall-E. Or Happy-Go-Lucky.
No Darren Aronofsky for The Wrestler? Insert sad face.
So this year, the directing and best picture nominees follow suit. And it’s down to three-time nominee Stephen Daldry and first-timer Danny Boyle.
Ron Howard already won an Oscar. Gus Van Sant was nominated once and did not win. David Fincher had better films before.
IF I WERE OSCAR, Danny Boyle’s track record would be 1 out of 1.
BUT I’M NOT. So, Stephen Daldry’s will be 1 out of 3.
IF I WERE OSCAR, my Best Motion Picture nominees would have been:
The Dark Knight as the commercially successful Hollywood film that is well-made at the same time. Milk as the socially relevant staple. The Reader as a sure-nominee, being a Holocaust film. Revolutionary Road as the melodrama staple. And Slumdog Millionaire as the everybody’s favorite.
Now let’s start to dissect the REAL nominees.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has to be the weakest among the group. I don’t get all the love it’s getting from the award bodies. It’s been said before but I have to agree that “it’s Forrest Gump gone wrong.” Visually, it’s good but it’s just what it is.
Frost/Nixon is surprisingly a good film. Perhaps, it is nominated because Hollywood is a mostly Democrat country. Don’t they just love a Republican going down!
Milk has its fair share of dull moments. But the performance of the support cast and Sean Penn’s almost-perfect portrayal of Harvey Milk is unforgettable. If you’re gay, you’ll be proud to be one after seeing this. And if you’re not, well, I’m Harvey Milk and I’m here to recruit you!
The Reader may or may not be a Holocaust film. But if it’s on the list solely because it is, then it would be a little unfair for the film. I think it is one of the stronger contenders for the crown.
Slumdog Millionaire has turned into a worldwide hit overnight. Well, you can’t blame the universality of destiny. The movie with no pretensions is easy to grasp. That’s why everybody loves it. It has been on a winning streak since the awards season started. But that’s exactly what Brokeback Mountain’s case was years ago.
IF I WERE OSCAR, this year’s Best Picture would be Revolutionary Road. But it isn’t nominated, so my Best Picture would be Milk.
BUT I AM NOT.
Slumdog Millionaire has winner written all over it. But, The Reader comes so close it can trump Slumdog from the top.
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The 81st Academy Awards is on February 22.