[Series] Behind my mask - Chapter 16 / 26
Title: Behind my mask
Author: andreja1989
Lenght: multichapter
Pairing: Sakuraiba, slight Ohmiya, AibaxOC (Hamada Sumiko), JunxOC (Yoshida Rae)
Rating for this chapter: NC-17 (well... you know what ^^)
Genre: AU, romance, angst, action, fantasy, fluff, school life
Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly. I own only the OC xD
Summary: He is perfect in many ways because it's how he has to be since he is a butler to the young heir, trying to hide his failures and how much he cares for the young master. On the other side, the heir has a stubborn, arrogant, bratty attitude towards everything around him, especially his butler and always gets what he wants. Is he also hiding something, even from himself? Can these two cope with each other, be honest to each other? What is behind their masks that they show to the world? Can it be something that goes beyond a butler-heir relationship? And what if the danger is at the every little corner of their way, people trying to find out the secret behind Aiba’s family?
<--- PREVIOUS: CHAPTER 15 ~ I want you ||| NEXT: CHAPTER 17 ~ The day after --->
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Sooo previous chapter we finally got rid of Sumiko right? xD Just to remind you about her again xD As I said to some, she won't be coming back. ^^ Then we saw that Sho had to go to his family while Aiba was out with others, having a party for Aiba who was single again which somehow turned into a drinking party, Jun taking the drunken Aiba home into Sho's care but... somehow Aiba kissed Sho and stated that he wants him... Is it real, does Aiba realy feels something for Sho, even if only deep inside of him or is it only because of the state he is in (drunk). You will find out once you read it, I left some hints so try to spot them xDD Also aaam in the second part I will show you the way to the fantasy part of this fic... The exact same moment was also in the trailer... aaam and because of that scene and as you can see in the title for this chapter, I have another CLIFFHANGER!!! So beware, major angst at the end... Also... enjoy reading ^^
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Chapter 16 ~ Mistake and life threatening decision
“Sho-chan you promised to always be there for me, to do anything for my happiness and to make my wishes come true. Now… I want you!” Aiba vaguely whispered, determination flowing from him, making Sho rigid, lying on the bed, unable to process anything. It was unbearable for him… unbearable yet it was happening. His insides were hurting as if someone was trying to strangle him, his mind was telling him to not let this situation go out of hand but felt Aiba demanding lips on his again, his body lying on his own, pressed tightly together as if they were two magnets with different fields, attracted to each other. Still Sho knew that this couldn’t be true, Aiba was drunk, he broke up with his girlfriend today and it was obvious that he was doing something that he maybe didn’t truly want if he was sober.
“Aiba…-kun…” Sho muttered incoherently as he moved his head on the side, away from Aiba’s. “This isn’t right and you know it.” Sho found himself in an excruciating moment when his feelings for the man above him were having an intense battle with his mind.
“What isn’t right?” Aiba asked softly and started to kiss Sho’s neck, softly sucking on it with his full lips, teeth slightly grazing the hot skin as if he wanted to peel the resistance off from Sho. “Kissing you or wanting you?”
“Both… because you aren’t thinking straight. Please stop these games before you regret it.” Because I don’t know if your actions will keep me unaffected for long…
“Then smile. Sho-chan… lately you are so serious and distant… Please smile for me.” Aiba’s big round eyes looked at Sho’s intensively and longingly.
“I can’t… you wouldn’t understand… I better not explain.” My feelings can’t cross to you! No… I can’t explain how your actions have been affecting me for the past months… what I felt when you were with that girl… how my heart ached every time I drove you on your date, wishing to be the one to go with you and forget about the danger that is lingering around us. How I wished we can be simple men, both in love… but you aren’t… my feelings for you would move mountains while you don’t love me the way I do… and all of this is hurting me, chocking me as if I was lacking air, my chest pricking. No matter how long I wanted to be with you, to be like this but it’s not what I want… you being drunk and not having feelings for me hurts me so much. Continuing what we started right now is wrong… my mind will go insane, my breaks would break and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself anymore… Please don’t do this to me, I need to restrain my longing, my wishes and think what’s best! Right now, even if you knew about my feelings and even if you shared the same feelings towards me, the time isn’t right. I know that the certain people are waiting for our weakness, I’m sure they are around us all the time, waiting silently until the time they could attack us and crossing the lines we created would make us weaker, fragile to the attack that will come soon. I can feel it and… Sho’s thoughts stopped abruptly as he felt his shirt being unbuttoned, soft hands fleetingly trailed his chest that was fluctuating a bit rashly, surprised by the sensual touches.
“Aiba wait!” Sho’s rasping resistance left his mouth, his palms grasping for Aiba’s wrists and pushed him away. “Don’t! You will regret it…” Sho added, a lump stuck in his throat as he could barely withstand to stop the man’s touch that was driving him insane. “This is simply wrong, you should get a nice sleep and tomorrow…” Sho was interrupted again with Aiba’s lips on his, indistinct mumbles leaving his mouth as Aiba slipped his tongue in Sho’s mouth, reaching deeply and sensually, making the butler wonder where the man learned to kiss this deliciously, his mind leaving him for a moment but a sudden touch on his clothed member woke him up but at the same time left him senseless. “Shit…” Sho cursed through his breath, feeling how he slowly started to fall into Aiba’s games, teasing and wanting, his gaze turning distant and longing.
Suddenly he saw no way back, his mind turned foggy, coherent thoughts disappearing and he found himself in a labyrinth, finding no way out of it and only followed Aiba’s figure, wishing to find the exit. At the same time he heard a slight chuckle from the man kissing him but ignored it as he knew the man thought it was amusing to finally gain some response from Sho. Actually it wasn’t just a single response, no, before Sho knew what was happening it was him who was on top of Aiba, kissing the man passionately while his hands roamed around the slim body below him, making sure to remove the man’s clothes in as shortest time as possible, his following at the same time. Aiba helped him enthusiastically and just in a few moments the naked bodies were pressed against each other, their members slightly chafing against each other, draining moans from both their mouths, silenced in each other’s lips.
Aiba’s hips were raising in longing for more touch while Sho’s lowered to do the same, his fingers groping for any part of Aiba’s body, lips slowly sucking on the heir’s neck, trailing downwards, leaving a wet trail, the heir shivering from the tingling sensations as well as the cold air grazed those trails a second after Sho licked or kissed them.
“Ahn… Sho-chan…” Aiba mewled as his pink peak of his nipple felt the warm tongue embrace it and lips suckle on it in slow and teasing movements, arching his back to Sho, moaning loudly, his breath hitching from time to time as Sho’s suck intensified, his palm reaching for the other one, grazing it lovingly.
“Shit we don’t have lube…” Sho murmured to himself but Aiba heard him, reached for the nightstand and pulled the lube out of the drawer, surprising Sho in the process but for now he didn’t dare to ask how he had it or where he got it, silently assuming who was the one that would give him. I will need to have a proper word with that brat one day…
“We have it…” Aiba panted, flushing intensively while handing Sho the not yet used lube.
“This won’t be pleasant… stop me if you can’t hold on…” Sho mumbled, noticed Aiba’s nod and then smeared his fingers with lube, made sure to part Aiba’s legs a little to get better access and started to slowly prod and grease the waiting hole gaining silent whines from the heir below.
“Nnn…” Aiba’s chest heaved by his deep breathing, jerking slightly as the drops of more lube fell at the soft skin around his member and hole, being spread around with Sho’s fingers until he slowly let one finger enter the heir, waited a little while observing the heir’s face, seeing slight frown and just slightly shifted his finger, not proceeding to enter until he noticed Aiba’s slightly relaxing. “Ahn… feels strange…” Aiba murmured as Sho’s finger slowly started to move, his other hand slowly reaching for Aiba’s member, stroking it to distract Aiba from his second finger slowly joining his previous one, stretching him a bit more but Aiba still groaned in first discomfort, reached for Sho’s upper arm, his fingers hardly digging in the skin, seeing the promise tattoo moving along Sho’s muscles and silently wondered about its meaning, still never hearing Sho’s explanation about it but got disturbed again as the two fingers reached slightly deeper in him, making him growl and yank his head back on the pillow, his hips buck up in the air. “Unnnn~…” He panted while arching his back, feeling Sho’s slightly fastened movements, preparing him nicely and carefully since it was Aiba’s first time. “Ah… Sho-chan… so good… unnn…” Aiba almost incoherently spoke up through his hard breathing, feeling how Sho’s fingers fitted nicer inside him, less friction between his fingers and Aiba’s tight ring which slowly loosened up. Sho knew the same and decided it was the time to add another finger since it would loosen the man up even more so that he would be prepared for his member which was waiting impatiently for his turn but no matter the passion that flooded Sho’s mind, he still remained the last bit of his sanity, making sure to be attentive and careful not to hurt the man he loved so much.
“AHH… oh… wait… that’s a little… too much…” Aiba slightly raised his voice, feeling even wider intrusion inside him. Sho’s fingers stopped inside of him immediately and without a word he leaned lower and licked the tip of Aiba’s throbbing member, gaining an almost inaudible gasp from Aiba’s mouth, surprising him in the process before taking him fully in his mouth, feeling the yank of the heir’s hips while moaning into the thin air. Sho’s sucks were intensive and wet, making slurping sounds on purpose as he noticed the twitch of Aiba’s hole every time he did that. He bobbed his head for a few times, taking him deep down his throat and only this was enough to feel the man relax again, his fingers able to move again, stretching Aiba’s entrance while hearing hitches and disgraceful moans, forgetting about the slight burning pain he felt on his shoulders, traces of Aiba’s nails clearly visible.
Right this moment Sho was unable to speak as his mouth was completely preoccupied but silently he was glad he couldn’t because even if he could, he would stay quiet, letting the started situation to end, his passions slowly reach it’s end because it was painful. The pleasure, Aiba’s moans, Aiba’s begs and silent whimpers were crushing him down. His chest was in great pain, knowing that this wasn’t a both sided making out or making love. This was lust, want and longing for someone to touch you. At least that was for Aiba but for Sho it was something he would die for but once he got it, it’s not how he wanted it, the loneliness creeping around his soul as he slowly let go of Aiba’s member, soft slicking pop reaching both of their ears. He continued to writhe his fingers a little bit longer but then took them out of the man he loved, made the man turn around and kneel on his four, the nicely prepared entrance facing Sho and his fully ready, soaking with lube, member who already slowly poked the entrance.
His palms gripped on Aiba’s buttocks, spread them wider before he slowly pushed inside inch by inch, stopping every time that Aiba wailed in pain, raspy gasps leaving his widely opened mouths as to relax himself, releasing the held breath while feeling Sho’s reassuring strokes and kisses along his back. His palms gripped on the covers, his knuckles white from the pressure inflicted upon them as his full body shivered by the strange and painful intrusion.
“Huff… it’s okay, go further…” Aiba mumbled, slightly unsure, his breath irregular, his eyes closed tightly as he felt Sho prod even deeper until buried himself up to the hilt. He stopped for a few moments, kissed Aiba’s bare back that jolted again, his head low down between his shoulders while his body trembled both from pain and sensations. Just then Sho started to slowly pull out, his tip left inside when he buried himself in again, this time slightly faster than the previous time, hearing the hiss coming up from Aiba’s lips before he redid his movement a few times before slowly thrusting without stopping, his hands resting on Aiba’s hips, holding him in place while feeling the thrust becoming smooth, almost no resistance left.
Aiba’s cries turned into wails and moans as Sho found Aiba’s weak point, hitting his prostate quicker, the sudden urge taking control over the man on top and at the same time over Aiba who still felt slight pain but the passion he felt and Sho’s squirting thrusts were slowly driving him insane, panted in the pillow below him, his mouth widely open, eyes dark with desire. He didn’t even notice when his upper body leaned down on the bed, his hands loosing the strength, his ass still highly up in the air being sweetly ravished by his butler.
“Ahn… yes! Sho-chan… fuck me please… AH! Uhn… ugh… faster!” Aiba’s pleads reached Sho’s ears who obliged the wish of the man he loved, fastened his pace, rocked his hips faster while making sure to move as much as possible, his hand slowly reaching below for Aiba’s member, palming it firmly as if there was no tomorrow, knowing that this might be his only chance and a day when he will be able to be like this with him. Fright slowly mixed up with pleasure, his long unanswered feelings were endangering to come up any minute and Sho knew he has to end it all before he would say things he would regret later.
Sho groaned at the sudden tight sensation around him, Aiba slightly tensing up at the sensual feelings, getting closer and closer to his release while noticing that Sho was near too as his rocking hips moved frantically, his thrust becoming harder and faster, his palm on Aiba’s member moving with the same speed.
“Sho-chan… ugh… c… coming… ah… AAAAAH~~~~!” Aiba wailed loudly, his body arching, his every muscle convulsed before his arms completely gave up and he sunk in the pillow below him. He felt how Sho still held his hips up, shoving his member inside him a few times more before burying deep inside him, groan filling the almost quiet room, his body shuddering against Aiba’s, his warm, sticky liquid filled Aiba’s hole up before his body slumped down on Aiba’s back.
Both frantically panted to regain their breath while Sho slowly managed to pull out of the heir while still remaining on Aiba’s back, hugging him from behind. It was the moment he never wanted to happen, not like this! Realization about what happened hit him at the same moment and so did the pain, the suffering to realize how unable he was to conceal his emotions once again, to restrain from Aiba’s teasing and seducing. It was the moment when he let go of his breaks and he was messed up completely, his mind was messed up. It was crazy and he felt how his emotions build up. This was why he, after he saw no way back from doing what he did with Aiba, decided on this position and also now, wouldn’t let Aiba face him. Sho knew that he had to stay behind him, hide himself. He couldn’t let the man see his tears that started to stream down his face, the emotions overflowing.
Somehow he was sure the man would notice since some droplets fell on Aiba’s still heated body, shivering by the contact but stayed still, quiet, still unable to speak but maybe intentionally didn’t want as Sho’s body trembled against his as he tried not to let out any voices of his sadness and misery.
“Ne~ Sho-chan… what is eternity?” Aiba suddenly asked a few moments later as Sho calmed down, covered their naked bodies and laid back behind Aiba’s back, his hands wrapping itself around the slim body.
“Why asking this?” Sho asked as coldly as possible, not wanting to show the traces of his distress any longer.
“Remember the little assignment we had at school? Yamada-sensei’s lecture about philosophy on this subject was interesting. What would it mean to live forever? Wandering around the world… All alone… no one around you that you know… Everyone dying before you… looking how they aged… but still able to live until forever…”
“Aiba-kun… This is not the time…”
“If it were me… If I were to live forever… I wanted Sho-chan by my side. I don’t mind you following me because I wouldn’t mind you…” Aiba murmured while having his eyes closed somehow feeling the comfort to be so close to Sho, holding the butler’s palms that were resting on his stomach.
The butler was silent for a few moments, taking his time to process the sudden words he just heard, unable to grasp if what he heard was true but at the same time was stunned that Aiba felt comfortable around him, forgetting the fact that the man was still drunk.
“You think…? Would it be really okay for me… to be around you all the time? For now I can’t but… if you want that…” Sho spoke up and waited for an answer which didn’t come after some long moments. He dared to peek over Aiba’s shoulder and noticed the heir soundly asleep, slowly breathing while muttering:
“Sho-chan… it’s okay…”
Sho’s insides were burning again, threatening to burst any moment as new tears slowly trickled down his cheek, his arms pulling the fragile body to his chest, muttering a silent, “I’m sorry…”
And I love you,
I want you,
I wanna talk to you,
I wanna be with you.
(Can’t help myself by Kelly Family)
***
Kiss me, thrill me,
don't say goodbye.
Hug me, love me,
don't say goodbye.
Ooooooh, don't say goodbye.
(Can’t help myself by Kelly Family)
The sun was shining through the not curtained windows in Aiba’s room, rays slowly reaching to his closed eyes, waking his sleepy mind up but he only mumbled in his sleep, not intending to open his eyes yet. Sho-kun will soon come and wake me up anyway. Oh god am I sleepy… and I think I have a headache… a cold? Aiba thought but then felt a slight breeze of warm air brush his cheek. Eh? Nani? He wondered as another one and another one came in steady rhythm, his curiosity forcing him to barely open his eyes. First thought that ran through his mind was that what he sees is only a dream but after blinking a few times, his eyes opened widely, his heart rate quickening and just then he realized what that warmth he felt was.
“AAAAAAAAAH!” Aiba suddenly screamed, trying to get free of Sho’s arms wrapped tightly around him, move away and once again yell as a sudden pain struck his back, just then realizing that he was butt naked and the man with him in bed had nothing on him either. His scream woke Sho up who quickly opened his eyes just to encounter Aiba’s glaring view, trembling body covered with the sheets and to add the painful expression on his face.
“Aiba-kun! What’s wrong?” Sho hastily sat up.
“What’s wrong?!” Aiba used his sarcastic voice, his headache worsening. “Don’t ask the stupid question when I wake up next to you butt naked and my ASS BURNING LIKE HELL!!!” Aiba yelled, letting Sho dumbfounded, his view observing the mad expression on Aiba’s face, his heart sinking, crushing, as if it was broken and then crumbled into tiny pieces. He wanted to stretch his hand out to Aiba but the man flinched back from him, painful expression striking him again by the movements he made.
“I…” Sho started but was unable to continue.
“How did this even happen?! I don’t understand…” Aiba mumbled to himself but then remembered the party he had with his friends, Sho being away visiting his parents, Aiba calling him endlessly, getting no reply and everything turned out into a drinking night, having no idea how he even managed to get home. “I was drunk…” He continued and looked back at Sho, madness inside his eyes again, “YOU USED MY STATE?!! WHY DID YOU DO THIS?! SINCE WHEN ARE YOU GAY?!!”
“Aiba-kun… let me…”
“EXPLAIN? THERE IS NOTHING TO EXPLAIN!”
“I didn’t use you… You…” Sho tried again but realized it was no use as Aiba continued to glare at him, almost glued to the wall, all the time moving away from him. Fright? Are you afraid of me? I would never hurt you… I…
“You didn’t?!! Then how the hell did you end up fucking me?” Aiba raged.
“Don’t use this kind of language…”
“Oh please don’t be melodramatic! THERE IS NO OTHER WORD TO USE FOR WHAT HAPPENED!!” Aiba suddenly came closer and pushed Sho’s chest, surprising the butler with the action.
“It… happened because you insisted to… I told you that you would regret it… You didn’t want to listen…”
“I WAS DRUNK! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT?!! YOU KNEW THAT YET YOU STILL… DON’T TRY TO BE THE VICTIM HERE BECAUSE IT’S ME WHO GOT SOMETHING I DIDN’T WANT!! AND NOW YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU DID THIS BECAUSE I INSISTED?!! BULL SHIT! WHERE IS YOUR RATIONAL THINKING?!! ON VACATION OR WHAT?!!”
It’s over… God… I can’t take it… my chest hurts… I want to run but can’t… I could never run from my feelings for him and now… I made such a foolish mistake… Aiba-kun will never forgive me and I would never forget… this night will stay in my memories as long as I live… but I can’t hurt him more. I have to deny my feelings… if he knows that I love him deeply, he would be angrier and crushed when he would remember the last half of the year we spend together… Sho’s mind made an ultimate decision and right now he won’t back off from it anymore. “I’m sorry…” Sho started with his apologetic voice, his head lowering down, listening to Aiba’s angry panting, puffs of air leaving his mouth. He thought the heir would want an explanation so he continued, “I feel like I have to apologize for what has happened and also because it didn’t mean anything to me… it was just pure lust…” A hard slap echoed around the room, Sho’s cheek burning intensively, his view still not raising to look at Aiba who has just hit him, his eyes moistening from the gathering tears.
“GET OUT OF MY ROOM RIGHT THIS MINUTE OR I DON’T ASSURE YOU WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!” Aiba yelled again while punching Sho’s chest to chase him off of his bed. When Sho was finally off Aiba turned to look away as Sho quickly put on at least some of his clothes, picking up the rest of them while walking to the door. There he turned around to look at Aiba still glaring at him. “I will tell the driver to get ready for school, you should uuum refresh yourself.”
“GET OUT!!!!!” Aiba screamed again, throwing his pillow and anything that came in handy towards Sho who rushed out. “Idiot! You are such an idiot!!” Aiba’s voice slowly lowered while his tears streamed down. Why am I reacting this way? Why am I so hurt? He was ashamed of himself to find himself in this kind of situation with Sho, his whole body sore, aching all over while his head was still ringing due to the hangover. He put on his morning gown and slowly climbed off the bed, felt the burning pain in his ass with every step he made and cursed it and Sho because it was reminding him of what had happened even if he wanted to forget it.
Just then he heard a soft knocking on the door, irritation hitting him again as he thought that Sho was back. He limped to the door, opened them and was ready to scream at him again as he didn’t find anyone in front of the door, only a small plate lying on the floor. Aiba slowly squatted down to pick up the small letter attached to it and read it.
[Please forgive me… I know I made a mistake… Even if one day you might forgive me… you won’t be able to forget… I… here is lemonade for you… it helps against the hangover, please drink it and eat your breakfast before school. I won’t be coming with you today so don’t worry about my presence and I already told the driver to wait for you. Also please use the cream if it gets too painful back there… Ano… I’m sorry.]
“I WON’T FORGIVE YOU SO DON’T TRY BOTHERING TO APOLOGIZE!!” Aiba yelled, knowing that Sho would hear him as his room was right next to Aiba’s. But while Aiba bothered with Sho’s letter and the prepared breakfast, the butler was sitting on his bed, looking outside the window, hitting his head with his palm over and over again, blaming himself for losing his mind the previous night. The tears still flooded down his face, doubting if he will be able to hold on for long. He just called the driver and told him it’s okay to drive Aiba alone and not to wait for him. The driver asked if something was wrong as Sho’s voice sounded somehow raspy but Sho ensured him that it wasn’t anything that he should bother about.
Sho didn’t know how long he sat there, weeping but did notice how Aiba slammed the doors of his room and later saw him come out of the house by the front door, obviously trying his best to walk as normally as possible while Sho knew he felt pain back there, anyone would after his first time. His view followed him until he climbed inside the car, the driver closing the doors and went back to the driver’s seat, taking Aiba to school. He sighed deeply, his eyes still burning but the tears slowly drying up. There was another call he had to make before he gets down with his already set plan for the future.
“Oh, Sho-kun? What’s up?” Nino’s voice sounded excited on the other side of the line. “Why calling? We will see each other in school… Or is it that you miss me so much?” Nino continued bratty and waited for Sho’s reply which didn’t come for a few seconds. “Oi? Sho-kun? You there?”
Sho cleared his throat not to sound too lame, “Yeah I’m here…”
“Something wrong? You don’t sound good… Are you sick?”
“Listen, can you and the rest do something for me?” Sho asked sadly.
“Yeah, sure you know you can.”
“Firstly… do you remember when I instructed you to prepare a DS for Aiba… the modified one…”
“Yeah I know, do I give it to him already?”
“Do so please… and… just say it’s a gift from all of you since he is single again… use this, he will believe you…”
“Oh… okay I will take it with me today to school and I will call Jun-kun and explain to Satoshi too…”
“Thank you… then secondly please take care of Aiba-kun…”
“What do you mean by that?” Nino’s voice sounded slightly alarmed.
“Watch over him… I can’t right now… you know what I said before right? He is in constant danger, some people want him dead and… I can’t come to school today… and probably not soon either... am not sure, maybe even never again…”
“OI SHO! What happened?” Nino suddenly knew that things aren’t how they were the previous day. “Explain right this minute!”
“I can’t… and please don’t bug Aiba-kun about it… It’s my fault and I shall answer it when the time comes…”
“You will explain right this minute do you hear me?!”
“I can’t… sorry Nino-kun… thanks for everything and I hope I can rely on you.” Sho quickly replied and ended the call being afraid that his voice will give in. He got up and removed his clothes, hearing how his phone rang again but decided to ignore it when he slowly went to shower, feeling burning pain on his shoulder. He took a look at it and noticed his skin being scratched, remembering Aiba’s nails grasp for them the previous night. His palm reached for it and held his shoulder as his body slumped down on the tiles and he smashed his fist at the wall a few times until it bleed, crying again in despair. “You are such an idiot! Destroying everything!”
“If it were me… If I were to live forever… I wanted Sho-chan by my side. I don’t mind you following me because I wouldn’t mind you…”
Aiba’s words from the previous night ringed inside Sho’s head. Was it true? Or did he say it due to the alcohol? How should I know? He sounded honest and like he truly wanted this… We can’t be forever but we can be longer than anyone… I can’t yet… but… A certain thought rushed through Sho’s mind, his view turning determined as he got up, turned the shower off and in less than a few minutes he was already back in his simple clothes, realizing that he was wearing the butler clothes rarer and rarer while he didn’t even mind this because all he wanted was to spend time with Aiba which mostly required the common clothes.
He stood before his wardrobe, pushed the clothes on the side, removed the cut out piece of the back wall and stared at the lock that he guarded for so long. He reached for the pocket watch that was lying on the table opened it and with a slight movement opened it another time, revealing a secret place behind the mechanism, a small key reflecting in Sho’s eyes. There was just a slight doubt about his decision but once he unlocked the lock, he saw no way back. I practically lost him already… doing this won’t bring much change. I better do it now, anger him even more than if I do it later when he calmed down! His hand reached for the green book with golden words written on it and stroke it gently. The book of answers… The book which so many want, crave to have it and solve one of the humanities mysteries which for now still lies in my hands. I read it before, I know its content and I know how high the risk is to go through all of this and also I know all the effects that follow my decision. He looked back to the opened safe and saw a small bottle with pinkish liquid in it. This small amount… can change everything yet cause so much damage. It’s the second and at the same time the last one… Aiba’s parents didn’t make more of them and even this small one was dedicated in my hands and even allowed to use it if one day I decide so. I never thought I would do this but right now I place my trust back in his parents as they trusted me with this. I trust their product and I know they will not fail me.
He went up to his desk and sat at it while looking through the pages of it, warnings, formulas, explanations about researches, all well explained and for Sho it was as if he read literature and not some highly scientific book based on drafts of two people leaving it behind in his hands. At the end of the book was a small letter that they left for Sho. He read it many times before but now that the time has come, he decided to read it once again.
[Sho-kun… We know you said you can’t do it and we understand your decision. We are grateful that you at least want to stay around our Masaki until you can. If someday you change your mind, it would be great because we don’t know what would Masaki do when people around him disappear, we really want someone who can stay with him as long as he lives. He can’t help it, it was an accident, it was our fault and I know the truth won’t be easy for him. He will need an understanding person.
Still if you use this only amount we entrusted you with then beware! If you drink it… not only pain and suffering awaits you. You encounter the danger of your life being on the thin line. But if it’s successful you will know when you wake up!
Please take care of Masaki… and we apologize for messing your life up… you don’t know how much we wished to leave other people out of this but since you came along showing us that you would be the one to watch over him, we trust you and believe in you. Protect him, no matter what he says or does.]
I will… there is no doubt about it! I won’t give up on him this easily and since this is the time I decided to tell him I shall also use it and become like him. I don’t have anything to lose now… Sho thought as he closed the book and went to place it back in the back of the wardrobe, locked the lock and placed the cut out wall back, messed his clothes and closed the doors of it. He then sat back at the table, saved the key back to where it was and with determination in his eyes wrote a letter for Aiba, folded it up and placed it under the pillow of his bed. No one else can find this and if I succeed I will lay there and could give it to him later… He stood there in the middle of his room, looking at the small bottle still standing on the table, faint anxiousness creeping around Sho’s mind, his hands getting sweaty. All or nothing! He thought as he picked up the bottle, opened it and with no resistance gulped down the pink liquid, hiding the empty bottle in the trash, waiting and waiting and waiting.
Finally, when he already thought nothing would happen, it started. Firstly there was a tingling feeling spreading through his entire body, shudder accompanying it while he could feel his heart beat faster and faster and faster until it stroke him.
“Ugh!!” Sho groaned as a sharp pain in his chest hit him, clenching tightly, making him rigid. Just then another stroke hit him hardly, making him fall down on his knees, panting hardly to regain his breath that was slowly getting sucked out of him. As if some heavy weight was pressing his chest, he couldn’t take not even a single small breath, his mouth widely open, craving for air which didn’t come, his hands holding his painful throat that started to burn as if it was on fire, the sound of his heart rate ringing inside his ears until one hard stroke of pain hit his head. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!” The silence tearing scream echoed around the room and probably even farther as his body slumped down on the ground, his hands now gripping at his head scared of another attack. The pain was unbearable and it didn’t want to subside as the pain in the chest did, allowing him to breathe at least a little. He writhed on the ground, excruciating pain slowly becoming unbearable.
“M… Masaki…” Sho muttered before the one last painful attack to his head made him slump unmovable down on the floor, his eyes still slightly opened but stared in the empty space as if his mind was no longer here, as if he went somewhere from where he couldn’t return. There was no more pain on his face, he just laid there, his hands still on his head before he slowly dozed off, losing his consciousness.
But I can't help myself,
I can't stop myself,
I am going crazy.
I cannot turn my back,
I got to face the fact,
life without you is hazy.
(Can’t help myself by Kelly Family)
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A/N: Lalalalalala how was it? xDD Nyaaa Sho didn't hold back ne~~~ also I have a slight wish: don't think too badly of Aiba... I kinda make him too big of a fool and stupid and... I don't want that ne... I prepared the future already, as you know I'm writing ahead and let me tell you times will change... just some things are needed before that... that's all I wanted to say in his defence as the one who wrote about his behaviour xD Also what will happen to Sho? What did he take? xDD Soon you will find out ^^
Ja and kind of comment/critique/thoughts are welcomed <3
Author: andreja1989
Lenght: multichapter
Pairing: Sakuraiba, slight Ohmiya, AibaxOC (Hamada Sumiko), JunxOC (Yoshida Rae)
Rating for this chapter: NC-17 (well... you know what ^^)
Genre: AU, romance, angst, action, fantasy, fluff, school life
Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly. I own only the OC xD
Summary: He is perfect in many ways because it's how he has to be since he is a butler to the young heir, trying to hide his failures and how much he cares for the young master. On the other side, the heir has a stubborn, arrogant, bratty attitude towards everything around him, especially his butler and always gets what he wants. Is he also hiding something, even from himself? Can these two cope with each other, be honest to each other? What is behind their masks that they show to the world? Can it be something that goes beyond a butler-heir relationship? And what if the danger is at the every little corner of their way, people trying to find out the secret behind Aiba’s family?
<--- PREVIOUS: CHAPTER 15 ~ I want you ||| NEXT: CHAPTER 17 ~ The day after --->
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Sooo previous chapter we finally got rid of Sumiko right? xD Just to remind you about her again xD As I said to some, she won't be coming back. ^^ Then we saw that Sho had to go to his family while Aiba was out with others, having a party for Aiba who was single again which somehow turned into a drinking party, Jun taking the drunken Aiba home into Sho's care but... somehow Aiba kissed Sho and stated that he wants him... Is it real, does Aiba realy feels something for Sho, even if only deep inside of him or is it only because of the state he is in (drunk). You will find out once you read it, I left some hints so try to spot them xDD Also aaam in the second part I will show you the way to the fantasy part of this fic... The exact same moment was also in the trailer... aaam and because of that scene and as you can see in the title for this chapter, I have another CLIFFHANGER!!! So beware, major angst at the end... Also... enjoy reading ^^
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Chapter 16 ~ Mistake and life threatening decision
“Sho-chan you promised to always be there for me, to do anything for my happiness and to make my wishes come true. Now… I want you!” Aiba vaguely whispered, determination flowing from him, making Sho rigid, lying on the bed, unable to process anything. It was unbearable for him… unbearable yet it was happening. His insides were hurting as if someone was trying to strangle him, his mind was telling him to not let this situation go out of hand but felt Aiba demanding lips on his again, his body lying on his own, pressed tightly together as if they were two magnets with different fields, attracted to each other. Still Sho knew that this couldn’t be true, Aiba was drunk, he broke up with his girlfriend today and it was obvious that he was doing something that he maybe didn’t truly want if he was sober.
“Aiba…-kun…” Sho muttered incoherently as he moved his head on the side, away from Aiba’s. “This isn’t right and you know it.” Sho found himself in an excruciating moment when his feelings for the man above him were having an intense battle with his mind.
“What isn’t right?” Aiba asked softly and started to kiss Sho’s neck, softly sucking on it with his full lips, teeth slightly grazing the hot skin as if he wanted to peel the resistance off from Sho. “Kissing you or wanting you?”
“Both… because you aren’t thinking straight. Please stop these games before you regret it.” Because I don’t know if your actions will keep me unaffected for long…
“Then smile. Sho-chan… lately you are so serious and distant… Please smile for me.” Aiba’s big round eyes looked at Sho’s intensively and longingly.
“I can’t… you wouldn’t understand… I better not explain.” My feelings can’t cross to you! No… I can’t explain how your actions have been affecting me for the past months… what I felt when you were with that girl… how my heart ached every time I drove you on your date, wishing to be the one to go with you and forget about the danger that is lingering around us. How I wished we can be simple men, both in love… but you aren’t… my feelings for you would move mountains while you don’t love me the way I do… and all of this is hurting me, chocking me as if I was lacking air, my chest pricking. No matter how long I wanted to be with you, to be like this but it’s not what I want… you being drunk and not having feelings for me hurts me so much. Continuing what we started right now is wrong… my mind will go insane, my breaks would break and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself anymore… Please don’t do this to me, I need to restrain my longing, my wishes and think what’s best! Right now, even if you knew about my feelings and even if you shared the same feelings towards me, the time isn’t right. I know that the certain people are waiting for our weakness, I’m sure they are around us all the time, waiting silently until the time they could attack us and crossing the lines we created would make us weaker, fragile to the attack that will come soon. I can feel it and… Sho’s thoughts stopped abruptly as he felt his shirt being unbuttoned, soft hands fleetingly trailed his chest that was fluctuating a bit rashly, surprised by the sensual touches.
“Aiba wait!” Sho’s rasping resistance left his mouth, his palms grasping for Aiba’s wrists and pushed him away. “Don’t! You will regret it…” Sho added, a lump stuck in his throat as he could barely withstand to stop the man’s touch that was driving him insane. “This is simply wrong, you should get a nice sleep and tomorrow…” Sho was interrupted again with Aiba’s lips on his, indistinct mumbles leaving his mouth as Aiba slipped his tongue in Sho’s mouth, reaching deeply and sensually, making the butler wonder where the man learned to kiss this deliciously, his mind leaving him for a moment but a sudden touch on his clothed member woke him up but at the same time left him senseless. “Shit…” Sho cursed through his breath, feeling how he slowly started to fall into Aiba’s games, teasing and wanting, his gaze turning distant and longing.
Suddenly he saw no way back, his mind turned foggy, coherent thoughts disappearing and he found himself in a labyrinth, finding no way out of it and only followed Aiba’s figure, wishing to find the exit. At the same time he heard a slight chuckle from the man kissing him but ignored it as he knew the man thought it was amusing to finally gain some response from Sho. Actually it wasn’t just a single response, no, before Sho knew what was happening it was him who was on top of Aiba, kissing the man passionately while his hands roamed around the slim body below him, making sure to remove the man’s clothes in as shortest time as possible, his following at the same time. Aiba helped him enthusiastically and just in a few moments the naked bodies were pressed against each other, their members slightly chafing against each other, draining moans from both their mouths, silenced in each other’s lips.
Aiba’s hips were raising in longing for more touch while Sho’s lowered to do the same, his fingers groping for any part of Aiba’s body, lips slowly sucking on the heir’s neck, trailing downwards, leaving a wet trail, the heir shivering from the tingling sensations as well as the cold air grazed those trails a second after Sho licked or kissed them.
“Ahn… Sho-chan…” Aiba mewled as his pink peak of his nipple felt the warm tongue embrace it and lips suckle on it in slow and teasing movements, arching his back to Sho, moaning loudly, his breath hitching from time to time as Sho’s suck intensified, his palm reaching for the other one, grazing it lovingly.
“Shit we don’t have lube…” Sho murmured to himself but Aiba heard him, reached for the nightstand and pulled the lube out of the drawer, surprising Sho in the process but for now he didn’t dare to ask how he had it or where he got it, silently assuming who was the one that would give him. I will need to have a proper word with that brat one day…
“We have it…” Aiba panted, flushing intensively while handing Sho the not yet used lube.
“This won’t be pleasant… stop me if you can’t hold on…” Sho mumbled, noticed Aiba’s nod and then smeared his fingers with lube, made sure to part Aiba’s legs a little to get better access and started to slowly prod and grease the waiting hole gaining silent whines from the heir below.
“Nnn…” Aiba’s chest heaved by his deep breathing, jerking slightly as the drops of more lube fell at the soft skin around his member and hole, being spread around with Sho’s fingers until he slowly let one finger enter the heir, waited a little while observing the heir’s face, seeing slight frown and just slightly shifted his finger, not proceeding to enter until he noticed Aiba’s slightly relaxing. “Ahn… feels strange…” Aiba murmured as Sho’s finger slowly started to move, his other hand slowly reaching for Aiba’s member, stroking it to distract Aiba from his second finger slowly joining his previous one, stretching him a bit more but Aiba still groaned in first discomfort, reached for Sho’s upper arm, his fingers hardly digging in the skin, seeing the promise tattoo moving along Sho’s muscles and silently wondered about its meaning, still never hearing Sho’s explanation about it but got disturbed again as the two fingers reached slightly deeper in him, making him growl and yank his head back on the pillow, his hips buck up in the air. “Unnnn~…” He panted while arching his back, feeling Sho’s slightly fastened movements, preparing him nicely and carefully since it was Aiba’s first time. “Ah… Sho-chan… so good… unnn…” Aiba almost incoherently spoke up through his hard breathing, feeling how Sho’s fingers fitted nicer inside him, less friction between his fingers and Aiba’s tight ring which slowly loosened up. Sho knew the same and decided it was the time to add another finger since it would loosen the man up even more so that he would be prepared for his member which was waiting impatiently for his turn but no matter the passion that flooded Sho’s mind, he still remained the last bit of his sanity, making sure to be attentive and careful not to hurt the man he loved so much.
“AHH… oh… wait… that’s a little… too much…” Aiba slightly raised his voice, feeling even wider intrusion inside him. Sho’s fingers stopped inside of him immediately and without a word he leaned lower and licked the tip of Aiba’s throbbing member, gaining an almost inaudible gasp from Aiba’s mouth, surprising him in the process before taking him fully in his mouth, feeling the yank of the heir’s hips while moaning into the thin air. Sho’s sucks were intensive and wet, making slurping sounds on purpose as he noticed the twitch of Aiba’s hole every time he did that. He bobbed his head for a few times, taking him deep down his throat and only this was enough to feel the man relax again, his fingers able to move again, stretching Aiba’s entrance while hearing hitches and disgraceful moans, forgetting about the slight burning pain he felt on his shoulders, traces of Aiba’s nails clearly visible.
Right this moment Sho was unable to speak as his mouth was completely preoccupied but silently he was glad he couldn’t because even if he could, he would stay quiet, letting the started situation to end, his passions slowly reach it’s end because it was painful. The pleasure, Aiba’s moans, Aiba’s begs and silent whimpers were crushing him down. His chest was in great pain, knowing that this wasn’t a both sided making out or making love. This was lust, want and longing for someone to touch you. At least that was for Aiba but for Sho it was something he would die for but once he got it, it’s not how he wanted it, the loneliness creeping around his soul as he slowly let go of Aiba’s member, soft slicking pop reaching both of their ears. He continued to writhe his fingers a little bit longer but then took them out of the man he loved, made the man turn around and kneel on his four, the nicely prepared entrance facing Sho and his fully ready, soaking with lube, member who already slowly poked the entrance.
His palms gripped on Aiba’s buttocks, spread them wider before he slowly pushed inside inch by inch, stopping every time that Aiba wailed in pain, raspy gasps leaving his widely opened mouths as to relax himself, releasing the held breath while feeling Sho’s reassuring strokes and kisses along his back. His palms gripped on the covers, his knuckles white from the pressure inflicted upon them as his full body shivered by the strange and painful intrusion.
“Huff… it’s okay, go further…” Aiba mumbled, slightly unsure, his breath irregular, his eyes closed tightly as he felt Sho prod even deeper until buried himself up to the hilt. He stopped for a few moments, kissed Aiba’s bare back that jolted again, his head low down between his shoulders while his body trembled both from pain and sensations. Just then Sho started to slowly pull out, his tip left inside when he buried himself in again, this time slightly faster than the previous time, hearing the hiss coming up from Aiba’s lips before he redid his movement a few times before slowly thrusting without stopping, his hands resting on Aiba’s hips, holding him in place while feeling the thrust becoming smooth, almost no resistance left.
Aiba’s cries turned into wails and moans as Sho found Aiba’s weak point, hitting his prostate quicker, the sudden urge taking control over the man on top and at the same time over Aiba who still felt slight pain but the passion he felt and Sho’s squirting thrusts were slowly driving him insane, panted in the pillow below him, his mouth widely open, eyes dark with desire. He didn’t even notice when his upper body leaned down on the bed, his hands loosing the strength, his ass still highly up in the air being sweetly ravished by his butler.
“Ahn… yes! Sho-chan… fuck me please… AH! Uhn… ugh… faster!” Aiba’s pleads reached Sho’s ears who obliged the wish of the man he loved, fastened his pace, rocked his hips faster while making sure to move as much as possible, his hand slowly reaching below for Aiba’s member, palming it firmly as if there was no tomorrow, knowing that this might be his only chance and a day when he will be able to be like this with him. Fright slowly mixed up with pleasure, his long unanswered feelings were endangering to come up any minute and Sho knew he has to end it all before he would say things he would regret later.
Sho groaned at the sudden tight sensation around him, Aiba slightly tensing up at the sensual feelings, getting closer and closer to his release while noticing that Sho was near too as his rocking hips moved frantically, his thrust becoming harder and faster, his palm on Aiba’s member moving with the same speed.
“Sho-chan… ugh… c… coming… ah… AAAAAH~~~~!” Aiba wailed loudly, his body arching, his every muscle convulsed before his arms completely gave up and he sunk in the pillow below him. He felt how Sho still held his hips up, shoving his member inside him a few times more before burying deep inside him, groan filling the almost quiet room, his body shuddering against Aiba’s, his warm, sticky liquid filled Aiba’s hole up before his body slumped down on Aiba’s back.
Both frantically panted to regain their breath while Sho slowly managed to pull out of the heir while still remaining on Aiba’s back, hugging him from behind. It was the moment he never wanted to happen, not like this! Realization about what happened hit him at the same moment and so did the pain, the suffering to realize how unable he was to conceal his emotions once again, to restrain from Aiba’s teasing and seducing. It was the moment when he let go of his breaks and he was messed up completely, his mind was messed up. It was crazy and he felt how his emotions build up. This was why he, after he saw no way back from doing what he did with Aiba, decided on this position and also now, wouldn’t let Aiba face him. Sho knew that he had to stay behind him, hide himself. He couldn’t let the man see his tears that started to stream down his face, the emotions overflowing.
Somehow he was sure the man would notice since some droplets fell on Aiba’s still heated body, shivering by the contact but stayed still, quiet, still unable to speak but maybe intentionally didn’t want as Sho’s body trembled against his as he tried not to let out any voices of his sadness and misery.
“Ne~ Sho-chan… what is eternity?” Aiba suddenly asked a few moments later as Sho calmed down, covered their naked bodies and laid back behind Aiba’s back, his hands wrapping itself around the slim body.
“Why asking this?” Sho asked as coldly as possible, not wanting to show the traces of his distress any longer.
“Remember the little assignment we had at school? Yamada-sensei’s lecture about philosophy on this subject was interesting. What would it mean to live forever? Wandering around the world… All alone… no one around you that you know… Everyone dying before you… looking how they aged… but still able to live until forever…”
“Aiba-kun… This is not the time…”
“If it were me… If I were to live forever… I wanted Sho-chan by my side. I don’t mind you following me because I wouldn’t mind you…” Aiba murmured while having his eyes closed somehow feeling the comfort to be so close to Sho, holding the butler’s palms that were resting on his stomach.
The butler was silent for a few moments, taking his time to process the sudden words he just heard, unable to grasp if what he heard was true but at the same time was stunned that Aiba felt comfortable around him, forgetting the fact that the man was still drunk.
“You think…? Would it be really okay for me… to be around you all the time? For now I can’t but… if you want that…” Sho spoke up and waited for an answer which didn’t come after some long moments. He dared to peek over Aiba’s shoulder and noticed the heir soundly asleep, slowly breathing while muttering:
“Sho-chan… it’s okay…”
Sho’s insides were burning again, threatening to burst any moment as new tears slowly trickled down his cheek, his arms pulling the fragile body to his chest, muttering a silent, “I’m sorry…”
And I love you,
I want you,
I wanna talk to you,
I wanna be with you.
(Can’t help myself by Kelly Family)
***
Kiss me, thrill me,
don't say goodbye.
Hug me, love me,
don't say goodbye.
Ooooooh, don't say goodbye.
(Can’t help myself by Kelly Family)
The sun was shining through the not curtained windows in Aiba’s room, rays slowly reaching to his closed eyes, waking his sleepy mind up but he only mumbled in his sleep, not intending to open his eyes yet. Sho-kun will soon come and wake me up anyway. Oh god am I sleepy… and I think I have a headache… a cold? Aiba thought but then felt a slight breeze of warm air brush his cheek. Eh? Nani? He wondered as another one and another one came in steady rhythm, his curiosity forcing him to barely open his eyes. First thought that ran through his mind was that what he sees is only a dream but after blinking a few times, his eyes opened widely, his heart rate quickening and just then he realized what that warmth he felt was.
“AAAAAAAAAH!” Aiba suddenly screamed, trying to get free of Sho’s arms wrapped tightly around him, move away and once again yell as a sudden pain struck his back, just then realizing that he was butt naked and the man with him in bed had nothing on him either. His scream woke Sho up who quickly opened his eyes just to encounter Aiba’s glaring view, trembling body covered with the sheets and to add the painful expression on his face.
“Aiba-kun! What’s wrong?” Sho hastily sat up.
“What’s wrong?!” Aiba used his sarcastic voice, his headache worsening. “Don’t ask the stupid question when I wake up next to you butt naked and my ASS BURNING LIKE HELL!!!” Aiba yelled, letting Sho dumbfounded, his view observing the mad expression on Aiba’s face, his heart sinking, crushing, as if it was broken and then crumbled into tiny pieces. He wanted to stretch his hand out to Aiba but the man flinched back from him, painful expression striking him again by the movements he made.
“I…” Sho started but was unable to continue.
“How did this even happen?! I don’t understand…” Aiba mumbled to himself but then remembered the party he had with his friends, Sho being away visiting his parents, Aiba calling him endlessly, getting no reply and everything turned out into a drinking night, having no idea how he even managed to get home. “I was drunk…” He continued and looked back at Sho, madness inside his eyes again, “YOU USED MY STATE?!! WHY DID YOU DO THIS?! SINCE WHEN ARE YOU GAY?!!”
“Aiba-kun… let me…”
“EXPLAIN? THERE IS NOTHING TO EXPLAIN!”
“I didn’t use you… You…” Sho tried again but realized it was no use as Aiba continued to glare at him, almost glued to the wall, all the time moving away from him. Fright? Are you afraid of me? I would never hurt you… I…
“You didn’t?!! Then how the hell did you end up fucking me?” Aiba raged.
“Don’t use this kind of language…”
“Oh please don’t be melodramatic! THERE IS NO OTHER WORD TO USE FOR WHAT HAPPENED!!” Aiba suddenly came closer and pushed Sho’s chest, surprising the butler with the action.
“It… happened because you insisted to… I told you that you would regret it… You didn’t want to listen…”
“I WAS DRUNK! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT?!! YOU KNEW THAT YET YOU STILL… DON’T TRY TO BE THE VICTIM HERE BECAUSE IT’S ME WHO GOT SOMETHING I DIDN’T WANT!! AND NOW YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU DID THIS BECAUSE I INSISTED?!! BULL SHIT! WHERE IS YOUR RATIONAL THINKING?!! ON VACATION OR WHAT?!!”
It’s over… God… I can’t take it… my chest hurts… I want to run but can’t… I could never run from my feelings for him and now… I made such a foolish mistake… Aiba-kun will never forgive me and I would never forget… this night will stay in my memories as long as I live… but I can’t hurt him more. I have to deny my feelings… if he knows that I love him deeply, he would be angrier and crushed when he would remember the last half of the year we spend together… Sho’s mind made an ultimate decision and right now he won’t back off from it anymore. “I’m sorry…” Sho started with his apologetic voice, his head lowering down, listening to Aiba’s angry panting, puffs of air leaving his mouth. He thought the heir would want an explanation so he continued, “I feel like I have to apologize for what has happened and also because it didn’t mean anything to me… it was just pure lust…” A hard slap echoed around the room, Sho’s cheek burning intensively, his view still not raising to look at Aiba who has just hit him, his eyes moistening from the gathering tears.
“GET OUT OF MY ROOM RIGHT THIS MINUTE OR I DON’T ASSURE YOU WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!” Aiba yelled again while punching Sho’s chest to chase him off of his bed. When Sho was finally off Aiba turned to look away as Sho quickly put on at least some of his clothes, picking up the rest of them while walking to the door. There he turned around to look at Aiba still glaring at him. “I will tell the driver to get ready for school, you should uuum refresh yourself.”
“GET OUT!!!!!” Aiba screamed again, throwing his pillow and anything that came in handy towards Sho who rushed out. “Idiot! You are such an idiot!!” Aiba’s voice slowly lowered while his tears streamed down. Why am I reacting this way? Why am I so hurt? He was ashamed of himself to find himself in this kind of situation with Sho, his whole body sore, aching all over while his head was still ringing due to the hangover. He put on his morning gown and slowly climbed off the bed, felt the burning pain in his ass with every step he made and cursed it and Sho because it was reminding him of what had happened even if he wanted to forget it.
Just then he heard a soft knocking on the door, irritation hitting him again as he thought that Sho was back. He limped to the door, opened them and was ready to scream at him again as he didn’t find anyone in front of the door, only a small plate lying on the floor. Aiba slowly squatted down to pick up the small letter attached to it and read it.
[Please forgive me… I know I made a mistake… Even if one day you might forgive me… you won’t be able to forget… I… here is lemonade for you… it helps against the hangover, please drink it and eat your breakfast before school. I won’t be coming with you today so don’t worry about my presence and I already told the driver to wait for you. Also please use the cream if it gets too painful back there… Ano… I’m sorry.]
“I WON’T FORGIVE YOU SO DON’T TRY BOTHERING TO APOLOGIZE!!” Aiba yelled, knowing that Sho would hear him as his room was right next to Aiba’s. But while Aiba bothered with Sho’s letter and the prepared breakfast, the butler was sitting on his bed, looking outside the window, hitting his head with his palm over and over again, blaming himself for losing his mind the previous night. The tears still flooded down his face, doubting if he will be able to hold on for long. He just called the driver and told him it’s okay to drive Aiba alone and not to wait for him. The driver asked if something was wrong as Sho’s voice sounded somehow raspy but Sho ensured him that it wasn’t anything that he should bother about.
Sho didn’t know how long he sat there, weeping but did notice how Aiba slammed the doors of his room and later saw him come out of the house by the front door, obviously trying his best to walk as normally as possible while Sho knew he felt pain back there, anyone would after his first time. His view followed him until he climbed inside the car, the driver closing the doors and went back to the driver’s seat, taking Aiba to school. He sighed deeply, his eyes still burning but the tears slowly drying up. There was another call he had to make before he gets down with his already set plan for the future.
“Oh, Sho-kun? What’s up?” Nino’s voice sounded excited on the other side of the line. “Why calling? We will see each other in school… Or is it that you miss me so much?” Nino continued bratty and waited for Sho’s reply which didn’t come for a few seconds. “Oi? Sho-kun? You there?”
Sho cleared his throat not to sound too lame, “Yeah I’m here…”
“Something wrong? You don’t sound good… Are you sick?”
“Listen, can you and the rest do something for me?” Sho asked sadly.
“Yeah, sure you know you can.”
“Firstly… do you remember when I instructed you to prepare a DS for Aiba… the modified one…”
“Yeah I know, do I give it to him already?”
“Do so please… and… just say it’s a gift from all of you since he is single again… use this, he will believe you…”
“Oh… okay I will take it with me today to school and I will call Jun-kun and explain to Satoshi too…”
“Thank you… then secondly please take care of Aiba-kun…”
“What do you mean by that?” Nino’s voice sounded slightly alarmed.
“Watch over him… I can’t right now… you know what I said before right? He is in constant danger, some people want him dead and… I can’t come to school today… and probably not soon either... am not sure, maybe even never again…”
“OI SHO! What happened?” Nino suddenly knew that things aren’t how they were the previous day. “Explain right this minute!”
“I can’t… and please don’t bug Aiba-kun about it… It’s my fault and I shall answer it when the time comes…”
“You will explain right this minute do you hear me?!”
“I can’t… sorry Nino-kun… thanks for everything and I hope I can rely on you.” Sho quickly replied and ended the call being afraid that his voice will give in. He got up and removed his clothes, hearing how his phone rang again but decided to ignore it when he slowly went to shower, feeling burning pain on his shoulder. He took a look at it and noticed his skin being scratched, remembering Aiba’s nails grasp for them the previous night. His palm reached for it and held his shoulder as his body slumped down on the tiles and he smashed his fist at the wall a few times until it bleed, crying again in despair. “You are such an idiot! Destroying everything!”
“If it were me… If I were to live forever… I wanted Sho-chan by my side. I don’t mind you following me because I wouldn’t mind you…”
Aiba’s words from the previous night ringed inside Sho’s head. Was it true? Or did he say it due to the alcohol? How should I know? He sounded honest and like he truly wanted this… We can’t be forever but we can be longer than anyone… I can’t yet… but… A certain thought rushed through Sho’s mind, his view turning determined as he got up, turned the shower off and in less than a few minutes he was already back in his simple clothes, realizing that he was wearing the butler clothes rarer and rarer while he didn’t even mind this because all he wanted was to spend time with Aiba which mostly required the common clothes.
He stood before his wardrobe, pushed the clothes on the side, removed the cut out piece of the back wall and stared at the lock that he guarded for so long. He reached for the pocket watch that was lying on the table opened it and with a slight movement opened it another time, revealing a secret place behind the mechanism, a small key reflecting in Sho’s eyes. There was just a slight doubt about his decision but once he unlocked the lock, he saw no way back. I practically lost him already… doing this won’t bring much change. I better do it now, anger him even more than if I do it later when he calmed down! His hand reached for the green book with golden words written on it and stroke it gently. The book of answers… The book which so many want, crave to have it and solve one of the humanities mysteries which for now still lies in my hands. I read it before, I know its content and I know how high the risk is to go through all of this and also I know all the effects that follow my decision. He looked back to the opened safe and saw a small bottle with pinkish liquid in it. This small amount… can change everything yet cause so much damage. It’s the second and at the same time the last one… Aiba’s parents didn’t make more of them and even this small one was dedicated in my hands and even allowed to use it if one day I decide so. I never thought I would do this but right now I place my trust back in his parents as they trusted me with this. I trust their product and I know they will not fail me.
He went up to his desk and sat at it while looking through the pages of it, warnings, formulas, explanations about researches, all well explained and for Sho it was as if he read literature and not some highly scientific book based on drafts of two people leaving it behind in his hands. At the end of the book was a small letter that they left for Sho. He read it many times before but now that the time has come, he decided to read it once again.
[Sho-kun… We know you said you can’t do it and we understand your decision. We are grateful that you at least want to stay around our Masaki until you can. If someday you change your mind, it would be great because we don’t know what would Masaki do when people around him disappear, we really want someone who can stay with him as long as he lives. He can’t help it, it was an accident, it was our fault and I know the truth won’t be easy for him. He will need an understanding person.
Still if you use this only amount we entrusted you with then beware! If you drink it… not only pain and suffering awaits you. You encounter the danger of your life being on the thin line. But if it’s successful you will know when you wake up!
Please take care of Masaki… and we apologize for messing your life up… you don’t know how much we wished to leave other people out of this but since you came along showing us that you would be the one to watch over him, we trust you and believe in you. Protect him, no matter what he says or does.]
I will… there is no doubt about it! I won’t give up on him this easily and since this is the time I decided to tell him I shall also use it and become like him. I don’t have anything to lose now… Sho thought as he closed the book and went to place it back in the back of the wardrobe, locked the lock and placed the cut out wall back, messed his clothes and closed the doors of it. He then sat back at the table, saved the key back to where it was and with determination in his eyes wrote a letter for Aiba, folded it up and placed it under the pillow of his bed. No one else can find this and if I succeed I will lay there and could give it to him later… He stood there in the middle of his room, looking at the small bottle still standing on the table, faint anxiousness creeping around Sho’s mind, his hands getting sweaty. All or nothing! He thought as he picked up the bottle, opened it and with no resistance gulped down the pink liquid, hiding the empty bottle in the trash, waiting and waiting and waiting.
Finally, when he already thought nothing would happen, it started. Firstly there was a tingling feeling spreading through his entire body, shudder accompanying it while he could feel his heart beat faster and faster and faster until it stroke him.
“Ugh!!” Sho groaned as a sharp pain in his chest hit him, clenching tightly, making him rigid. Just then another stroke hit him hardly, making him fall down on his knees, panting hardly to regain his breath that was slowly getting sucked out of him. As if some heavy weight was pressing his chest, he couldn’t take not even a single small breath, his mouth widely open, craving for air which didn’t come, his hands holding his painful throat that started to burn as if it was on fire, the sound of his heart rate ringing inside his ears until one hard stroke of pain hit his head. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!” The silence tearing scream echoed around the room and probably even farther as his body slumped down on the ground, his hands now gripping at his head scared of another attack. The pain was unbearable and it didn’t want to subside as the pain in the chest did, allowing him to breathe at least a little. He writhed on the ground, excruciating pain slowly becoming unbearable.
“M… Masaki…” Sho muttered before the one last painful attack to his head made him slump unmovable down on the floor, his eyes still slightly opened but stared in the empty space as if his mind was no longer here, as if he went somewhere from where he couldn’t return. There was no more pain on his face, he just laid there, his hands still on his head before he slowly dozed off, losing his consciousness.
But I can't help myself,
I can't stop myself,
I am going crazy.
I cannot turn my back,
I got to face the fact,
life without you is hazy.
(Can’t help myself by Kelly Family)
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A/N: Lalalalalala how was it? xDD Nyaaa Sho didn't hold back ne~~~ also I have a slight wish: don't think too badly of Aiba... I kinda make him too big of a fool and stupid and... I don't want that ne... I prepared the future already, as you know I'm writing ahead and let me tell you times will change... just some things are needed before that... that's all I wanted to say in his defence as the one who wrote about his behaviour xD Also what will happen to Sho? What did he take? xDD Soon you will find out ^^
Ja and kind of comment/critique/thoughts are welcomed <3