Who the hell is Murgatroyd
Haven't written in this space on the internet that I own enough recently. Might start making daily observations, cause I paid for this personalization, might as well use it.
Some things that came to mind today. The more I think about something, and/or stress about it, the less likely I am to do that thing/task because I associate it with the stress. Which is odd, because working on it would alleviate the stress of not doing anything, but apparently stress comes just by context.
Today of all days, I've (re) discovered that there is a big problem with constantly dwelling on something generates. If that task I'm thinking about has not been completed, thinking I need to do this brings with it a sense of accomplishment, because I have devoted my mental energies to considering it, and thus I alleviate some of the stress associated with it, and sapping myself of my ability to consider my priorities, and the momentum/impetus to actually complete them when I have time to do so.
I've come to this realization before, but I never had reasoned out WHY this is the case. Or at least, I don't remember doing it. It makes sense on a certain level. If I want to play a certain game, and I devote my mental energies while walking down the street or going to class when my mind is otherwise unoccupied, I won't have the desire to play when I get back.
Which places me in a conundrum. In order to recognize the priority of getting something done, I have to think about it, but thinking about it just makes me want to put it off. Some things I've learned I cannot do. I cannot plan an essay in my head. I've done this with fiction, prospective journal entries, other written things. Once I've thought it out, I really don't want to write it anymore. I guess for me, writing is more of capturing the thoughts I have as they come to mind immediately. I CAN however, write down snippets of things that idly come to mind while pondering. That is more productive, because it involves the actual transcription of free thought, instead of bothering with mental exertion. I just realized what I've described is brainstorming. They don't fucking tell you to write everything down. Maybe they do, maybe my mind has finally put the contextual pieces into place.
Some other obvious, yet not so obvious epiphanies. The more I participate in class, the more interested I get. Again, sounds obvious, but it really hadn't occurred to me. For me, class participation is the mechanism by which I engage myself in whatever I'm learning, because it provides stimulation. This includes taking notes that aren't on the board (which keeps me occupied) or just plain 'ole participation. However, for Chinese, I really didn't participate much until the scores of two tests really forced me to wake up. I had to actively engage myself DURING class. I mean, duh right? Wrong. Sure, they tell you that, but if you've been able to get As and Bs without really throwing yourself into the material, you're not gonna start suddenly. And this is where the magic of flashcards come in. If I familiarize myself with the characters before we start reading the examples and practices, I'll know what the fuck I'm reading. This gives me a chance to participate. This chance to participate and be correct raises my confidence, pushing me to participate more. I can't believe I forgot this. I did the same thing in Spanish Class in high school (3 and 4 at least). I didn't participate, I got C/B. I did, I got B/A. Fucking idiotic.
Again, I guess you don't really LEARN something like this until you consciously become aware of it. Transcribe it as one of your maxims. Unless you've ALWAYS got it the back of your head (which is where I need to store the information to do shit like papers, and my daily to do list).
The more nervous/tense/anxious your are about something, the worse you'll do on it. This applies for tests, girls, and sports. Why such a simple maxim stuck now? Because it's happened in enough different situations, in a given time period. Apparently, I have to be hit multiple times with the same stupid mistake before it really sticks, and in a short period of time. And I can't forget, which is why I'm writing.
That being said, it is bloody fucking amazing what women can do to your mood. They can take it to the deepest depths, they can bring it to the highest heights. Right now, the possibility of something has got me in a good mood.
Some things that came to mind today. The more I think about something, and/or stress about it, the less likely I am to do that thing/task because I associate it with the stress. Which is odd, because working on it would alleviate the stress of not doing anything, but apparently stress comes just by context.
Today of all days, I've (re) discovered that there is a big problem with constantly dwelling on something generates. If that task I'm thinking about has not been completed, thinking I need to do this brings with it a sense of accomplishment, because I have devoted my mental energies to considering it, and thus I alleviate some of the stress associated with it, and sapping myself of my ability to consider my priorities, and the momentum/impetus to actually complete them when I have time to do so.
I've come to this realization before, but I never had reasoned out WHY this is the case. Or at least, I don't remember doing it. It makes sense on a certain level. If I want to play a certain game, and I devote my mental energies while walking down the street or going to class when my mind is otherwise unoccupied, I won't have the desire to play when I get back.
Which places me in a conundrum. In order to recognize the priority of getting something done, I have to think about it, but thinking about it just makes me want to put it off. Some things I've learned I cannot do. I cannot plan an essay in my head. I've done this with fiction, prospective journal entries, other written things. Once I've thought it out, I really don't want to write it anymore. I guess for me, writing is more of capturing the thoughts I have as they come to mind immediately. I CAN however, write down snippets of things that idly come to mind while pondering. That is more productive, because it involves the actual transcription of free thought, instead of bothering with mental exertion. I just realized what I've described is brainstorming. They don't fucking tell you to write everything down. Maybe they do, maybe my mind has finally put the contextual pieces into place.
Some other obvious, yet not so obvious epiphanies. The more I participate in class, the more interested I get. Again, sounds obvious, but it really hadn't occurred to me. For me, class participation is the mechanism by which I engage myself in whatever I'm learning, because it provides stimulation. This includes taking notes that aren't on the board (which keeps me occupied) or just plain 'ole participation. However, for Chinese, I really didn't participate much until the scores of two tests really forced me to wake up. I had to actively engage myself DURING class. I mean, duh right? Wrong. Sure, they tell you that, but if you've been able to get As and Bs without really throwing yourself into the material, you're not gonna start suddenly. And this is where the magic of flashcards come in. If I familiarize myself with the characters before we start reading the examples and practices, I'll know what the fuck I'm reading. This gives me a chance to participate. This chance to participate and be correct raises my confidence, pushing me to participate more. I can't believe I forgot this. I did the same thing in Spanish Class in high school (3 and 4 at least). I didn't participate, I got C/B. I did, I got B/A. Fucking idiotic.
Again, I guess you don't really LEARN something like this until you consciously become aware of it. Transcribe it as one of your maxims. Unless you've ALWAYS got it the back of your head (which is where I need to store the information to do shit like papers, and my daily to do list).
The more nervous/tense/anxious your are about something, the worse you'll do on it. This applies for tests, girls, and sports. Why such a simple maxim stuck now? Because it's happened in enough different situations, in a given time period. Apparently, I have to be hit multiple times with the same stupid mistake before it really sticks, and in a short period of time. And I can't forget, which is why I'm writing.
That being said, it is bloody fucking amazing what women can do to your mood. They can take it to the deepest depths, they can bring it to the highest heights. Right now, the possibility of something has got me in a good mood.