Stop fighting this. A story about Kristen and Robert
****I made a few updates on this story, I corrected some of the mistakes, added a few more paragraphs and completed the ending so I can write a new chapter more easily, thought I really don’t have time for another one yet, but I’ll get around to that sometime. ***
She fell back on the pillow,resting her head now on Michael’s arm, her breathing rapid as she was trying to calm her heartbeat. She didn’t feel tired, just very relaxed now, her mind almost blank with the lack of thoughts. Making love to him was always so pleasant and since they tried it for the first time, she felt like they grew up together, experiencing, learning each other and now it was efortless, it was always like he knew exactly what she needed. Kristen thought she liked very much this sensation of calm she had right now as the day of tomorrow was going to be probably a tough one, and easily drifted to sleep.
The next morning she woke up, got in the shower and dressed quickly even before Michael was up. He woke, though, when she leaned across the matress to get the cell phone from the bed. Rob had called her last night to tell her that everyone was going to a party and asked if she wanted to come, Michael didn’t really enjoy that. Luckily enough, he was too sleepy to get into a conversation of how he didn’t like Rob calling her at night ,she got really annoyed when he started that.
“Morning babe, leaving me so early?”,he yawned.
“Well, yes, the break is over, I have to go back to the set. I have a lot to do today.”
“Any hot scenes?”, he grinned, but she knew that he wasn’t so comfortable with that idea.
“Um, no, not today, but anyway, there should have been, as I have collected enough material last night”, she quickly kissed him laughing and got out the door.
Okay, that was close. This was so tiring, the game of pretending that he wasn’t uncomfortable and she wasn’t irritated. So much with the calm and peace…that really frustrated her because she really cared about Michael and she knew he was right for the most part, but she couldn’t help it, it was her job, and what was she supposed to do now, just quit the film? Anyway, it all should be over soon,the movie wouldn’t be such a success anyway and then they could all get back to their lives and she could just breathe again properly, not having to think that she would have to endure another day of fighting herself around Rob, because he would go back to England and they would talk over the phone from time time, hopefully in a year they would just stop keeping in touch and she would be her old secure self again.
She got into the car and drove away, trying to block out of her mind the thoughts that made her so anxious, she turned up the volume of the music and just focused on the lyrics and on the sounds coming from her radio.
But as soon as she stepped on the set it all came back to her, all the past weeks of angst, how uncomfortable she felt here and became angry at herself and at her confusion, she couldn’t really understand what was wrong with her. She actually wasn’t the type to go for what she couldn’t have and desire that thing only because there was an interdiction…desire…she almost scoffed loudly,that really wouldn’t be the term she should be using for what she felt when she was around Rob, she was just not thinking straight. He wasn’t really attractive to her, she never liked his type, but they had this stupid inexplicable thing when they were around each other, and that was obvious from the first time they were both in Catherine room, when he came to audition. She tought it was a good thing then, her reaction to him. She couldn’t explain it, but she was sure she would be able to channel it and use it only in the benefit of the film, but it only got worse. At first she really got into knowing him and he befriended her easily, so the first weeks they just spent most of the evenings together, speaking about their roles, the scenes and their characters. They did have that “chemistry” everyone was talking about, but it was only on set. Even if he was a little weird and kind of nerdy, Rob was a person very easy to be around, they mostly laughed and made jokes on his account and shared stories about each other.
She snapped back out of revery when she heard her cell phone ring, the incoming message tone coming out of her pocket. It was from Rob.
Hey there! On what planet are you?
At first she thought he was just asking her when she was gonna arrive on the set, but when she raised her eyes, he could see him standing a few feet from her, smiling.
Oh great.
She raised one hand as in a salute then just turned left to go to her trailer, without looking back. She was so so angry with him, even though she tried to act normal for a few days after that stupid evening when Rob decided to really act stupid. Anyway, he couldn’t help it, that’s how he was, this completely brainless being who just did the first thing that came to his mind, without thinking about the consequences. And all she did was think about them, always being so extremely careful not to feed the rumours building around them. It was realy lame actually, he was so careless, and maybe all this really didn’t matter to him, as he didn’t even apologize even though a few good days have passed since then…and he clearly had offended her, or at least she acted like he had, and he just…turned back to normal, talking to her like they were friends and inviting her to parties in the middle of the night when he knew she was with Michael, fucking with him for all he knew. Maybe he even took pleasure of it…let’s see how to make Kristen feel like a total douche…
She sat on the chair from the trailer looking at the clock. There was still time, in her haste of avoiding a conversation with Michael she left kinda early this morning. But what was he doing so early, wasn’t he supposed to have been partying and getting himself drunk and banging some stupid blonde like he tried his luck with her…She covered her face trying to think that she didn’t care, but she did, she always felt a twinge of pain when some rumour of him dating a celebrity was splattered all over the press, but she used to ignore them. Now the twinges turned to stabs.
I’m such a fucking mess. What’s wrong with me? I should be able to laugh about this, taunt him for what he did, playing it for my own benefit, he didn’t really do anything wrong anyway, he was just being a guy…
But the fact that he disrespected her so much and he didn’t really apologise…
What for? nothing happened, probably he didn’t even remember it right because he was drunk. But she remembered very well. The night she stayed at the hotel because she was coming down with a cold, while much of the cast went out to eat. It was quite refreshing for her to be able to just sit in the bathtub, thinking about nothing at all, she had the night for herself. Rob had called her asking if she wasn’t feeling better and if she didn’t want to come anyway, but she acted sicker than she really was and he didn’t insist. This social life thing was beginning to get on her nerves. Now she had to find an excuse to not go out when she was just tired.
She just stayed curled up on the sofa watching some silly tv shows drifting in and out of sleep, not managing to get herself up and on the bed. It was already late when a somewhat loud knock startled her.
What the fuck…
“Kris, it’s me, Rob, open up, I brought something for you”
Oh great.
This wouldn’t have been such an unexpected thing a few weeks ago. Rob used to stop by her room very often, with something to eat or drink, the script and the book or just a movie he thought was interesting. And then she had to practically move him as he almost fell asleep each time, a few times really going to sleep and leaving in the morning. But things were different a few weeks now. She always thought that all the speculations in the media about their so-called romance made them feel ackward around each other and this is why their friendship got colder. But it wasn’t just that. He was irresponsible, and did a few very stupid things during interviews, making her feel uncomfortable, encouraging rumours of their crush on each other, when she tried so ferociously to protect her relationship with Michael, who was far from not being affected. But he wasn’t to be blamed, he was just joking and didn’t really know what a bitch the media can be. And anyway, she was the only one annoyed from the whole team, all the others enjoyig the attention the movie received from all this: any form of publicity is a good form of publicity.
And there was also the thing he said during her “bithday party” when she turned eighteen. Party is an innapropiate term for the event, it was just a gathering of the cast members, with a cake after a very long day of shooting. She had been blessed with a 20 hour work day, now that it was legal for Summit to enslave her and work her heart out. They just turned the music up, turned off the lights and mingled about. She jumped around, danced with the girls, while the guys just tried to defeat their records in drinking. It was ok for her, this intimate party, as she was going to have better celebration at the end of the week, with Michael, just the two of them. She even convinced Rob to dance with her, or rather jump up and down. But after a few minutes into the dance, Jackson thought that it was time for the Joe Cocker moment of the party, and it really wasn’t. It was clear that nobody was going to take their clothes off, or even come to the dancefloor, if they weren’t already there. So she kept dancing with Rob, trying to chase away the sudden uncomfortable feeling she had when he put his hands on her thighs, keeping it playful. The look in his eyes really concerned her, as she had seen it a few times before, but then she just surprised him giving her that look, it was never intentional, but this time he was looking at her intently. Anyway, she ignored the alarm sounding loud in her head, and thought it must have been the song’s fault. But then he swirled her around, pressing her back against him, one hand across her chest and arms , pressing against her abdomen with the other and leaned in close to her ear to say “It’s a good thing I can get you drunk and have my way with you, now that it’s legal.” She tried not to react, even if his hold almost gave her an anxiety attack, and in a joking tone answered “Um, yeah…I guess that would still be called a rape, even if I’m 18 now.”Maybe she could have kept the just-kidding air of the conversation, if he wouldn’t have said “That depends…On how much you drink and how much you want it. Then it could be called me seducing you.” All humour already gone from her, she slapped his hands away and retorted “Maybe you should have a coffee, Rob, or a cold shower” and strolled away. The next days he was very serious around her and after that weekend he never came to her room, always spending time together only in the company of others. But now he was here, “bringing something”.
She opened the door to see him leaning against the door frame, visibly drunk, holding a box of something, cupcakes maybe.
Okay, concentrate, try not to be mean.
“What the hell, Robert! Do you have any idea what time it is?” she grunted.
“Robert…” he said imitating her but a hint of his accent coming through the word and very dramatically raised his hand to look at his watch, “Well, it’s…bloody late. Uhm sorry, I wanted to see how you were”.
“Sleeping, thank you for the concern”
He laughed kinda loudly “Can I come in?”
She deliberated for a moment, thinking that he wasn’t looking like he was going to leave if she just closed the door, and he would probably wake up all the floor if she didn’t let him in, the fear of scandal momentarily bigger than the fear of being alone in her room with him. He looked so powerless anyway, and if she wasn’t grouchy from being woken up, she would have been amused.
She took the box from his hand and went back to the center of the room, stopping there, as he closed the door. He didn’t look that drunk now, standing in front of her, his hair a mess, and his eyes slightly unfocused, but still, he wasn’t to be picked up from the floor and she suddenly thought of how innapropriate this was. It was late, she was only wearing a bathrobe, and he was drunk and smelling like a highway bar.
“Do you want anything specific, or are you just trying to make me look like a zombie tomorrow?”
“Hm…I guess it is late”, the ackwardness of the situation seemed to sober him up a little, and his eyes no longer seemed unfocused when he roamed his eyes over what she was wearing.
She panicked, feeling the pull to him, acknowledging the tiny part of her that just melted seeing how he looked standing in front of her, threading his fingers through his hair nervously.
Okay, stay calm.
She tried to go past him to open the door and invite him out, but he caught her wrist and looked at her with a puzzling expression “Are you okay?”, he asked , his voice almost pained.
Now she was angry, what was all this about? “I was, until ten minuted ago! Rob, I think you should leave.”
He took her wrist to his nose and smelled it, brushing her lips lightly to the thin skin and for a moment her mind just went silent, ignoring all the screams in her head. He then pulled her wrist over his shoulder and pushed her back forcefully against the door, hitting her head on the wood, but she didn’t feel the pain. She reacted quickly pulling the hand that was already over his shoulder, ripping it from his grip, and strongly pushing him back, but she was too small, and it was too late, his breath full of alcohol washed over her face, and she knew he would kiss her. She convulsed against him, trying to push him back with her whole body, knowing that only one easily removable shield stood between him and her naked body. All this was revulsing, his smell, the fact that he was drunk, the fact that he was doing this against the will she was trying to make so obvious. But still, she couldn’t help the blow that went through her when their lips touched, the moan that came from her throat when he pushed her harder against the wooden door, her robe lightly parting as she could fell the rash fabric of his jeans against her thighs, the gasp when he forced her mouth open and pushed his tongue in. She grippped the collar of his shirt with both hands, her fingers clutching and only for a second pulling him closer and then she pushed with all her might, screaming with rage in his mouth. He stepped back, dazed, looking at her like he was woken up from sleep walking.
“What the fuck are you doing, you moron! Now you are gonna rape me or what?”
His eyes went desperately over the sight in front of him, looking at her, but not really seeing, then looking down with the eyes of someone who unconsciuosly commited a murder. He pushed his fingers through his hair squeezing his eyers shut, then opening them up again, looking totally lost for a few moments. He took a few steps towards her, and she cringed away, afraid that he might attack her again, but he opened the door and stepped out .
She had fallen to the floor then, beside the door,next to the box of cakes she now couldn’t remember when she had dropped, her body shaking in the aftershock of what happened. Everything seemed ripped right out of a nightmare. The violence of it all, what this meant, how this changed everything, how he invaded so forcefully her defenses in the most brutal way. She almost pulled her hair out acknowledging the part of her that she ignored so carefully, the part that did want to kiss him, that wished he would have opened his eyes reasuringly, calming her. She knew that probably without the brutality of the moment, she wouldn’t have been able to push him away like that, and she was thankful to the anger and then she wasn’t.
Oh she hated herself so much,and him…. He…
The message ringtone brought her back to the present. It was him again.
Can I come in?
Shit, he must be just out the door. Great. Anyway she opened the door, her heart beating painfully in her chest as she watched him look at her smiling lighty, but only with his lips, his eyes looking rather serious.
She walked back into the trailer, knowing he would come in, the similarity with the situation she just remebered curling her stomach into a ball.
“Hi”, he said, coming in,but without closing the door behind him. Probably he wanted to reassure her that he won’t act like before now.
“What do you want?”
“Well, I just…”he trailed off “How was your weekend?”, he said his half smile returning to his lips.
“Well, it was fucking great, is that all?”, she could see him wince from her words.
“No, I … I think I owe you an apology. In fact, I owe you more than that, but I don’t know how I could make this right. I’m sorry, I…”
“You should be, and stop thinking about making this right because you can’t. Now go.”
He raised his gaze upon her, his eyes pained and instead of stepping out, he took a step forward and she pulled back so fast that she went straight in the little dresser she had in the trailer, hitting her back hard against the surface. He stopped then, and she couldn’t help thinking how much of a scared cornered animal she should be looking like. He extended a long hand towards her and she glared at him, inneficiently trying to warn him to stay away, then she felt his fingers brush her cheek, and a surge of burning blood rushed to her face, feeling almost the same blow low in her stomach as when he kissed her.
“Don’t”, she pleaded,” just go.”
He then turned his back and left.
The next days were ackward, with them not talking to each other almost at all, but still trying to act like there was nothing wrong when people were around. They said their lines and smiled at each other when they had to talk, laughed if the other made a joke, but that was pretty much it. She had to endure him touching her during filming, but she just concentrated on the character, driving away from her mind how her body ached whenever he was close, how she almost flinched each time his eyes met, even as Edward and Bella. Especially then, to be more accurate, because that was the only time they really had to look at each other and each time he did look at her like that she couldn’t help wondering if he was just acting .
It became so gruesome after a few days, that she started ignoring herself and just lean her head more often on his chest, taking more and more gladly his embraces during the scenes.
Then Thursday night, after wrapping up, Catherine announced them that she had a change of plans for the next day, as it was going to be sunny. They would be filming indoors: the dream sequence and Bella’s reverie when she realizes that Edward is a vampire. She felt herself freeze a little bit, because this meant more contact than they have had until… since…
Fuck. That shouldn’t be hard, at least we don’t have to kiss, I just have to sit and pretend sleeping or dying pleasurably, so, the sooner it’s over, the better.
But it wasn’t how she thought it would be, because Catherine had other plans. She said that they would be filming the reverie first, as it requested more makeup and it had to look very professional, and then the dream sequence and the whole Edward coming to Bella’s room at night to watch her sleep. And our dear director, of course, had some ideas. The initial dream sequence, with Bella under water kissing Edward was cancelled as it was so complicated to shoot, this was known from almost the very beginning. But now Catherine thought they should still try a kiss, like Bella’s dreaming and she sees him in her room and she jumps at him, and when she wakes up he really is there, so very similar with the dream, only that he dissapears when she turns on the light.
She was a bag of nerves, everything around her felt so hyper. Panick was crippling down her spine, creeping to her toes.
I can do this, I will do this, I will kiss him, and that’s that, it will be over.
The makeup was long, and the incessant brushes over her face and hair calmed her down, dissensitising her. By the time she stepped on the set she was actually confident. The bed covered in velvet made her a little nervous, but other than that it was all ok. He saw him with his extreme vampire makeup, some blood-looking liquid on his lips and she thought he looked funny and almost giggled, being surprised at her own reaction. He looked back at her, looking over her costume and smiled back.
“Okay, people, let’s get started, Robert and Kristen, on the bed, please!”
She went towards the bed,with him following her from behind, really close and before they got past the line of cameras surrounding place of the scene, he leaned in and said “You are very beautiful.”
That was pretty much all that it took to disarm her, all her confidence gone, she snapped her head around, looking him in the eye, his gaze intense upon hers, and she just had to rip her eyes from is face and climb dazedly on the bed.
The next minutes were a blur, while Catherine explained how exactly she wanted to shoot the scene, while she was positioned over the bed, with one hand over her head, her head turned to face the cameras, while they retouched her makeup, ruffled her hair, arranged the pillows around her, she felt semiconscious.
And then he was on top of her and she could hear “GO!” and in the background music started to sing. It all came back to her, that evening, again. The way his nose and lips felt on her wrist, the way she could feel his body crushing her to the door, his shoulders wide , his hand around her waist lifting her up , his legs against hers, his chest against hers, the feel of his lips and his tongue, even with the scent of alcohol, now were revealed in the light that she so dreaded to see them.
He slided one arm under her body, lifting her by the back, as the scene requested, and she tensed. She had to look straight ahead into the cameras, but instead she closed her eyes shut, bracing for impact.
Oh fuck!
Then he pressed his lips to her neck and it was like he electrocuted her, and she shook under him, hardly. The hand unexposed to the camera clutching desperately at the velvet covers.
CUT!
He pulled back his weight, but was still hovering over her, looking her in the eyes, questioning, apologizing. She was acting weird, and he had seen that. “Just be still, and it will soon be over.”, he comforted her, “I’m sorry.”
“Okay, let’s go again. Kristen, remember this is what Bella imagines, there’s nothing violent in this, act more relaxed. ”
ACTION
Now when he leaned against her, leaving more of his weight on her, she exhaled loudly, loudly enough for him to hear her and she tried holding her breath after taking a quick intake of air. His smell was too much, his hair brushing the side of her face and when her lips touched her neck again her abdomen muscles tensed trying to suppress the moan that came out of her throat anyway. His lips were parted and he breathed a burning breath on her neck, his lips trembling slightly, closing over the flesh under his mouth. The hand previously clutching at the covers was now digging short nails into it’s own palm. He then slid his fingers over her balling fist and relaxed her grip, squeezing lightly at her fingers. It was a nightmare. And a most beautiful dream.
CUT
“That was perfect, guys!”, she could hear Catherine saying and couldn’t imagine how she could have kept her face relaxed during all this, but seemingly she did. For the next takes she managed just to sit there as he pressed his lips after each ACTION echoed, no thoughts in her mind beside him, his hand that was still holding hers, his weight that pinned her to the bed,not allowing her to be taken by the then it was done. He lifted himself from her piercing her eyes with his own stare for a moment before he got off the bed. He then turned around and extended a hand to support her climb off the bed. Her palms were sweaty, but she needed the support, her knees shaking. She pressed her fingers to his palm only for one instant, then she quickly swerved around him, took a pack of makeup removal tissues from a table and almost ran out to the changing booth, feeling that he was trying to follow her. She stopped, never turning to look at him and then strolled away, knowing that he remained where he was.
She robotically removed her makeup, washed her face, changed her costume,without thinking about what was coming, she didn’t have any choice either, it was going to happen. She got out after a few minutes and went for makeup, feeling his gaze from across the room, but avoiding it. They headed for the next set, another bed involved, of course. For the most part, she had to sit in bed, her eyes closed, looking restless, so she did, only thinking at the task at hand, blocking the panic,the thoughts, the anticipation…
Then she heard Catherine. “Okay guys, this is experimental, let’s just see how this looks. Now, Kristen, remember, Bella is dreaming so she’s not really inhibited, and Rob, you are not Edward, the vampire, you are the object of her fantasy, you just comply at her desires.” He forced back a smile and and looked at her with a certain glint in his eyes.
Everything didn’t seem real to her, because she never felt so uncounscious and devoid of thought before. She was aware, but in a transe state, her heart pounding fiercely against her ribcage, and all she could do is lean back on the bed and do her best in trying to even her breathing to act sleeping.
“Action, people”
It took all her concentration to rip her eyes open, and look at him. He was standing by the foot of the bed, looking more like an avatar then a real person, and what she did next seemed something coming more of her own will than of a script or stage directions. She lounged at him, gripping him by the front of his T-shirt, and he leaned over her, one knee on the bed, his hands searching for support and then, her lips hit his, their teeth making a chaterring sound. He almost fell on top of her, but he finally found support on one of his arms,the other hand ghosting over her back and her thighs. She threw one leg over his waist and he gasped when she touched his lips with her tongue, his lips parting, allowing her to taste him, his sweet tobacco and mint aroma. She frantically touched his neck, eager for any piece of exposed skin she could find, pressing herself against his body, reveling in how that felt. And then it was over
CUT, she heard Catherine chuckling. “That was awesome, guys, I don’t think you could have done it better. We can wrap up here.”
Immediately he was off the bed, not looking at her. She picked herself up, not looking at him either, took a jacket from a chair and went straight outside, in the pijamas her costume was. She couldn’t stay there any longer, feeling hot tears forming in her eyes, as guilt washed over her. Grief was almost tearing her chest, making her breathe in shallow gasps as she was strolling fast to the he heard urgent footsteps behind her, and she almost started running. If only she could get to the trailer fast enough and close the door. But her feet felt like rubber, she wanted to turn around an scream at him to stay back, but she couldn’t, she just ran ahead. And then she stopped still in front of her trailer knowing that he would follow her inside if she didn’t, she turned around and faced him.
He was desperate, his eyes roaming relentlessly over her face, a mere two feet from her. Watching her nervous gestures, the way she was biting violently on her lower lip, making the flesh turn white.
The sight of him made her angry again, having the object of her mistake in front of her, knowing that if he didn’t exist, nothing like this would have happened. Hating the way all her flesh ached, how her heart pounded.
“Are you alright?”, he said in a small voice.
“No, I am not alright, I am NOT fucking alright. Are you statisfied? You are a fucking idiot. You screwed me up. Everything was normal and now it just isn’t, and you get to go on with your life, and calling me during the weekend to come at parties with you like nothing happened and like you didn’t know I wasn’t with…I wasn’t alone,and then you apologize like what you did is just to be forgiven”, she could feel her cheeks burn, fury surging through her, in cold steel ripples.
“What I did? You say it like I commited fucking murder.”, he retorted to her accusation, his glare resentful.
“It is for me. What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I…I’m sorry.” he trailed off
“AAArgh. Just fuck off!” , she turned round and opened the door, entering as quickly as she could, trying to slam de door behind her, but he caught it and slammed it back on the wall.
“Why don’t you fuck off! You act so offended, well….I have reasons to be offended as well”.
She was staring a him, disconcerted by his reaction.
“How do you think I feel, how did you think it felt for me?To be fucking rejected by that, I know I was a total jerk and nothing else could be expected from you. But knowing…” , he paused, his expression turning from fury to pain “…knowing you were going to see him, kiss him, let him…”
She couldn’t say anything, she just gaped at him, her mouth half open in shock. What was he saying? That he had actually planned that night to come and…kiss her.
He started again, his voice lower, but full of resentment ”Don’t you think I want to be able of fucking off, of being able to fuck any other bimbo that throws herself at me and then just forget about it. Do you think I want to be sick to my stomach thinking of your fucking buddy touching you with his hands? ”
A long pause settled between them, then he spoke again, his voice hoarse this time.
“You first make me feel disgusted about myself, and then you kiss me like that.” his voice was now hoarse, his body half turned toward the door, not looking at her “ So how am I supposed to feel?”.
All the previous feelings of anger seemed to evade her at that moment, she just looked at him, seeing that she was wrong and she wasn’t the only one who got hurt right now, everyone got hurt, and it was her fault too.
“I’m….I was….I’m sorry. I’m just tired of fighting you and I thought…”she trailed off, clamping her lips tight to stop the sobs that were ripping through her throat, tears now in her eyes, grief crushing her to pieces.
He straightened his back at the sound of her voice, turned his back to her and closed the open door of the trailer. He stood there for a few seconds that seemed to pass painfully slow, and then turned to face her, his eyes burning. She was leaning against the small counter, gripping the wooden edge for support, feeling as if some enourmous wave was going to come and wash her away, and she was both right and wrong.
He closed the distance between them in two wide steps, gripping her from under her arms and lifting her up on the narrow counter, taking her into his arms and hugging her fiercely to his chest. She gasped with releaf when she felt his close embrace and his chest pressing her against his arms, remiding her of the thin pijamas she was wearing. She could feel his breath on the nape of her neck and despair clutched her again.
What am I doing?
She dug her fingers into his shoulder blades, just pushing him down, not being able to push him away or pull him closer. He then tilted his head, pressing his lips on the same spot he did just before, over her thrumming pulse. She could feel his lips parting, his tongue going over her skin, his teeth grazing and she arched back, a moan escaping her lips, lifting her feet to circle his legs, her hands moving of their own accord and pulling him closer. He moaned in response and lifted one hand to cup the back of her neck, the other sliding underneath the jacket she still had on, feeling how small her back felt under his splaying palm. Her head lolled back and hit the small cupboard over the counter, he chuckled lightly and reached through her hair to support her.
She shrugged off the jacket, now leaving her shoulders and collarbone exposed to him. He fleetingly passed his fingers over the new exposed skin and she felt him pull back a little. She opened her eyes to see him stare hungrily at her lips and she whimpered, the sound echoing so powerless as tears started flowing over her cheeks.
No this…can’t…. happen.
She tried pushing at his shoulders, but she just clung to him, all reason gone from her as he felt him draw nearer to kiss her.
“Rob, please”, she managed to breathe, but her limbs still pulling him closer. He looked in her eyes intently, trying to understand her plea, his lids were heavy over his eyes, and she knew the lust she saw in them was only mirroring hers. Their mouthes closed then, and the feel of it was nothing she ever felt before. Their lips moved fevereshly against each others, hungrily tasting anything the other had , his hands pulling at her shoulders, her feet now around his waist, pressing herself to him.
He groaned and broke the kiss, only to move to her throat and to her ear, taking the lobe between his lips and teeth, nipping at it. She clutched with both her hands his hair, pulling, wanting to draw him away, furious that she was letting this happen, but he only groaned, pulling the strap of the blouse, closing his mouth over her shoulder.
Air seemed to elude her, her breathing was harsh, coming in pants and gasps, and everytime his lips moved she would moan loudly almost choking with the need of air. And she was left completely breathless when she felt his hands at the hem of her shirt, but still she lifted her hands and the fabric just flew over her head and on the floor. His eyes were open, looking at her in astonishement, his breathing ragged and hard as the upper part of her body was now completely exposed to him. He lifted her up in his arms, heading for the bed, and then she really started crying, a pleading cry, knowing that there was no turning back and this will change everything, that she was making this mistake she so tried to avoid. She caught one of his wrists trying to drive away his hands from her body, but she just held him, clutching then at his shirt for support and unthinkingly pulled it over his head.
He grabbed her wrists in one hand, gently putting them above her head and carressing her cheeks. “Stop fighting this”, he breathed in her ear, and so she did, finally pulling him closer, feeling his chest against hers, his mouth against hers and nothing else mattered.
It was a true battle, one on one, with them both enemies and allies. It felt like he was trying to devour her, and all she could do is surrender and have him enter in each one of her pores, savoring the feel of being with him, memorizing his touch with every cell in her body because even in this total surrender she knew that this would be the first and last time she could let this happen.
She was astonished of her reactions, of how she responded to him. She knew she had had good times with Michael, great times, but for some reason she just couldn’t remember if she ever felt this way with him. With Rob it was like she couldn’t get used to him kissing her. Every time he pressed his lips to any part of her, the skin would just explode, sending shivers in her entire body, his hands felt like charged with electricity when they touched her. And when he kissed her mouth she was breathless, almost falling into unconsciuosness. She didn’t know what she was doing, just desperately touching him, trying to pull him closer with her feet, her hands on his back. Their breathing was loud in the quiet trailer, their moans coming in unison, his name escaping from her lips…It was all very fast, happening like the accident that this was. At the end he crushed his lips to her collarbone, and she dug her fingers into his back, crashing his hips between her legs. They both screamed in release and he fell beside her, their chests heaving in trying to breathe. But just after a few moments panic came back, pressing hard on her hands and feet, in realisation that this had really happened and she just needed to escape.
She almost had a heart attack when she could hear someone’s voice outside, calling.
“Kristen?”
They both jumped up from the bed, searching for their clothes and she answered “Y-es”, her voice breaking.
“Do you know where Rob is?”
They both looked quickly at each other, as they both froze, clothes still not fully on.
“No. No I don’t.”
“Okay. If you do, tell him to turn his phone on, we’re going to eat. Are you coming?” The voice was now evidently going farther from the trailer.
“No, you go, I’ll call you if I change my mind.”
The breath of relief was evident from both of them. She pulled the pijama blouse over her head, covering herself, and headed to pick up the jacket from the floor. She then heard his voice “Kris…What does this mean?” She stopped, for a moment and then, before she got out the door answered “I don’t know. Please, wait a few minutes before you go out.”, and she left.
***This is it for now. I hope I didn’t offend anyone by writing this, I just had to get it out of my head and then I just wanted to share it with some other people. For me this two people are fictional characters.***