Jones Jones...You Never Learn!
Indiana Jones.
The character I admire the most. His zest for History, his passion for archeology, his hat, whip, and snarky grin. He's the reason I developed an interest in history! Now...now hes...
well he might as well be dead. honestly.
So, in complete and utter delight I snatched 2 tickets for the midnight show of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, grabbed my dear friend
fey_puck
and trotted off to see what I thought would be a masterpiece that would end the Indiana Jones series and leave me historically sated.
Oh...how wrong I was
****CAUTION-- THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE INDIANA JONES: KOTCS -- DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU PLAN ON SEEING THIS OR IF YOU GET ANGRY WHEN PEOPLE SPOIL PLOT LINES *****
So the Highlights that made this film worthy of its Indiana Jones title are few.
1) Indy survives an A-bomb testing by jumping into a lead lined fridge and is shot into the stratosphere but survives. This proves that Indy is absolutely indestructible (as I thought). The scene follows with a funny Indy scrubdown that made me giggle.
2) Marion Ravenwood makes a comeback in her sassy way. Participates in a car chase rather than being kidnapped various times. It seems like her bad-ass nature in Raiders finally gets film time... she was all talk in the bar scene in Nepal, but finally Georgie gives Marion the chance to show her stuff in facing off with Cate Blanchett's Russian-ness.
3) Action - The first half of the movie is action packed! Car chases, motorcycle chases, 50's greaser vs. jock brawls, Communist spies following Indy, ect. Very true to the nature of IJ
Thats all I can really think of, but if I find more good things, i'll write them down.
Now...Here's where the problem is. Where the film falls short
1) ALIENS! - Ok. I may be wrong here. Yes, Raiders is about the Arc of the Covenant, Yes, Temple of Doom is about Shankara Stones, Yes, Last crusade is about the holy grail....but...ALIENS? at least the previous ones dealt with some form of history!!! Biblical History and Local myth I understand..but to take the Mesoamerican culture and give it this Alien, X-Files, motif? There is no HISTORICAL BACKGROUND TO THIS!!! putting SPACE SHIPS in INDIANA JONES?! you might as well put Jar Jar Binks in the movie and call it a day (
fey_puck
's idea).
2) Other Characters -
Marion started off kickass and then sadly reverted back to the helpless marion from raiders. One action scene and she was done.
Shia leBouf's character Mut- attempts to be kickass, has some kind of telepathic thing with MONKEYS and then we find out he's Indy's son. After that he doesnt do much. He attempts to take Indy's hat in the end, which made the ENTIRE AUDIENCE CRINGE....but it didnt happen.
Cate Blanchett- I love her, i really do, but she just tried SO HARD at her Russian accent that it was laughable. The audience did laugh. and that made me sad.
The other historical guy - went insane for 90 % of the movie only to regain his sanity just in time to explain how the aliens cross dimensions and go to "spaces within spaces" ...oh the audience had a field day with that after the movie.
3) The lack of Sean Connery - it was obvious that Sean should have been in the movie. Indy stares at his picture on his desk at the beginning and at the end mentions him again. Sir Connery would have turned this movie into something better i just know it.
4)the Lack of competent Evil-doers.- for some reason, Commies just aren't at the same caliber as Nazis. At every turn the Nazis were at Indy's throat making every task seemingly impossible. Here, the commies kinda chase him, but dont really put that extra 110% that the Nazi's did. I guess thats what you get when Stalin is your leader and puts a Female who is interested in the paranormal in charge....
5) All Around Idiocy- The first battle in Area 51 uncovered a box that had the Arc of the Covenant in it. THE ARK. THE ARC THAT COULD EASILY DESTROY ANY ARMY IN ITS PATH ... blah blah blah -reference Raiders- ... and the Russians leave it for an alien corpse instead. -MORONS-
I'd pick that ARC up, ship it to Russia and start my invasions of the rest of Europe.
Again, I could go on, but people will start thinking that I'm just getting picky.
Well...to that I say...no.
Im not picky.
Let me make a point here.
As an avid Indy Fan, I've bought countless PC games, the DVD sets, everything.
Here's my point and its in the PC games. Indiana Jones: and the Lost City of Atlantis and Indiana Jones: and the Infernal Machine were my favorites and both had a STELLAR plotline that could have been made into a movie in the BLINK of an EYE.
Atlantis? CMON! what would be more interesting than finding the lost city? even the game had some MINOR traces of paranormal things if George wanted to stick to that, so he'd be satisfied, the historical side would be satisfied and we'd all be happy.
The Infernal Machine is about the Tower of Babel and the Babylonian Kingdom. Again- AWESOME plotline, characters, and with a turn for paranormal, but basically a grounded idea.
No Spaceships that suck up people, no skulls of aliens that are telepathic. Just Indy being an archeologist looking for FACT...not getting mesmerized by a skull and interpreting the rambles of an insane man only to discover that Aliens were collectors of human antiquity and cross dimensions. -disgust-
The fact is, George Lucas had SO MANY options and even if he used one of the game plotlines it would have turned out far better than the disappointment that is Indy 4. For me, this movie ranked BELOW Temple of Doom. All those poor souls that dressed as Indiana at the midnight show didnt even stay long enough to see the credits roll...they fled the scene.
So its the end of Indiana Jones in the worst possible way.
A historical dud.
An Archeological flop.
but if you like x-files...i guess you'll like this movie.
p.s. Check out this guy singing the Indiana Jones theme song. ITS AWESOME
The character I admire the most. His zest for History, his passion for archeology, his hat, whip, and snarky grin. He's the reason I developed an interest in history! Now...now hes...
well he might as well be dead. honestly.
So, in complete and utter delight I snatched 2 tickets for the midnight show of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, grabbed my dear friend
fey_puck
and trotted off to see what I thought would be a masterpiece that would end the Indiana Jones series and leave me historically sated.
Oh...how wrong I was
****CAUTION-- THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE INDIANA JONES: KOTCS -- DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU PLAN ON SEEING THIS OR IF YOU GET ANGRY WHEN PEOPLE SPOIL PLOT LINES *****
So the Highlights that made this film worthy of its Indiana Jones title are few.
1) Indy survives an A-bomb testing by jumping into a lead lined fridge and is shot into the stratosphere but survives. This proves that Indy is absolutely indestructible (as I thought). The scene follows with a funny Indy scrubdown that made me giggle.
2) Marion Ravenwood makes a comeback in her sassy way. Participates in a car chase rather than being kidnapped various times. It seems like her bad-ass nature in Raiders finally gets film time... she was all talk in the bar scene in Nepal, but finally Georgie gives Marion the chance to show her stuff in facing off with Cate Blanchett's Russian-ness.
3) Action - The first half of the movie is action packed! Car chases, motorcycle chases, 50's greaser vs. jock brawls, Communist spies following Indy, ect. Very true to the nature of IJ
Thats all I can really think of, but if I find more good things, i'll write them down.
Now...Here's where the problem is. Where the film falls short
1) ALIENS! - Ok. I may be wrong here. Yes, Raiders is about the Arc of the Covenant, Yes, Temple of Doom is about Shankara Stones, Yes, Last crusade is about the holy grail....but...ALIENS? at least the previous ones dealt with some form of history!!! Biblical History and Local myth I understand..but to take the Mesoamerican culture and give it this Alien, X-Files, motif? There is no HISTORICAL BACKGROUND TO THIS!!! putting SPACE SHIPS in INDIANA JONES?! you might as well put Jar Jar Binks in the movie and call it a day (
fey_puck
's idea).
2) Other Characters -
Marion started off kickass and then sadly reverted back to the helpless marion from raiders. One action scene and she was done.
Shia leBouf's character Mut- attempts to be kickass, has some kind of telepathic thing with MONKEYS and then we find out he's Indy's son. After that he doesnt do much. He attempts to take Indy's hat in the end, which made the ENTIRE AUDIENCE CRINGE....but it didnt happen.
Cate Blanchett- I love her, i really do, but she just tried SO HARD at her Russian accent that it was laughable. The audience did laugh. and that made me sad.
The other historical guy - went insane for 90 % of the movie only to regain his sanity just in time to explain how the aliens cross dimensions and go to "spaces within spaces" ...oh the audience had a field day with that after the movie.
3) The lack of Sean Connery - it was obvious that Sean should have been in the movie. Indy stares at his picture on his desk at the beginning and at the end mentions him again. Sir Connery would have turned this movie into something better i just know it.
4)the Lack of competent Evil-doers.- for some reason, Commies just aren't at the same caliber as Nazis. At every turn the Nazis were at Indy's throat making every task seemingly impossible. Here, the commies kinda chase him, but dont really put that extra 110% that the Nazi's did. I guess thats what you get when Stalin is your leader and puts a Female who is interested in the paranormal in charge....
5) All Around Idiocy- The first battle in Area 51 uncovered a box that had the Arc of the Covenant in it. THE ARK. THE ARC THAT COULD EASILY DESTROY ANY ARMY IN ITS PATH ... blah blah blah -reference Raiders- ... and the Russians leave it for an alien corpse instead. -MORONS-
I'd pick that ARC up, ship it to Russia and start my invasions of the rest of Europe.
Again, I could go on, but people will start thinking that I'm just getting picky.
Well...to that I say...no.
Im not picky.
Let me make a point here.
As an avid Indy Fan, I've bought countless PC games, the DVD sets, everything.
Here's my point and its in the PC games. Indiana Jones: and the Lost City of Atlantis and Indiana Jones: and the Infernal Machine were my favorites and both had a STELLAR plotline that could have been made into a movie in the BLINK of an EYE.
Atlantis? CMON! what would be more interesting than finding the lost city? even the game had some MINOR traces of paranormal things if George wanted to stick to that, so he'd be satisfied, the historical side would be satisfied and we'd all be happy.
The Infernal Machine is about the Tower of Babel and the Babylonian Kingdom. Again- AWESOME plotline, characters, and with a turn for paranormal, but basically a grounded idea.
No Spaceships that suck up people, no skulls of aliens that are telepathic. Just Indy being an archeologist looking for FACT...not getting mesmerized by a skull and interpreting the rambles of an insane man only to discover that Aliens were collectors of human antiquity and cross dimensions. -disgust-
The fact is, George Lucas had SO MANY options and even if he used one of the game plotlines it would have turned out far better than the disappointment that is Indy 4. For me, this movie ranked BELOW Temple of Doom. All those poor souls that dressed as Indiana at the midnight show didnt even stay long enough to see the credits roll...they fled the scene.
So its the end of Indiana Jones in the worst possible way.
A historical dud.
An Archeological flop.
but if you like x-files...i guess you'll like this movie.
p.s. Check out this guy singing the Indiana Jones theme song. ITS AWESOME