truth
It's never my goal make people feel less than they are. I'm always so bold with my thoughts and expressive that once I've said too much - it's too late. Don't get me wrong, I have the best of intentions....it just doesn't always come out right. What do you think is more important - finding the univeral truth or helping others find their own truth? One is self-satisfying. It will help you to feel more at peace with yourself -- just knowing you're trying to better yourself. It might haunt you (the more you know the more you realize you don't know near as much as your thought). It changes your life which indirectly changes the people around you. The striving alone is gratifying and and enlightening. The other is also gratifying but a burden for someone who truly seeks knowledge. To have to swallow the real solution and be understanding to something so simple and unnecessary. To watch pain and ignorance and mistakes and self-pity. To not say what needs to be said because it's just not the right time to say it. But rather I'm afraid if you swallow that longing for the truth too long, it may consume you. That compassion will turn into frustration and emotions will equal weakness because it blurrs the facts and figures. And before you know it, that longing for the truth is what is important. Not the people who care....they make it too complicated. Distracting....requiring attention and vulnerability. What's wrong with that? It's too hard maybe. Or somehow it's just lost its importance along the way. It's not definite and it's not eternal - not technically anyway. But the truth is. Am I talking about love? commitment? friendship? the goodness of mankind? I don't know anymore. I used to know - maybe universally I was wrong but in my heart I knew. And I lost that certainy and it makes me sad. Selfish that I bring it up now? Not selfish to me but is that what is important? For me, it's not the univeral truth and it's not about helping ALL others find their own truth. But the people who truly are important in your life - absolutely let them in your world. There aren't many so why push them away? There are some things I will never understand and that's okay. There are many things that people will never understand about me and I am content with that -- because it's not about either of the two. It's about balance. And knowing that there is something bigger than this world. That things that can't always be explained by facts and figures. It's about idealism with love.