Doc Project: Twiblings
While driving today this came on.
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/docproject/my-surrogate-and-me-an-unconventional-arrangement-takes-an-unexpected-turn-1.3829589
You should be able to listen to the documentary on the link above. It's about 25 minutes and even the introduction made me bawl.
Listening to it brought out all of my fears about infertility. All of my rotations in the hospitals where I have seen this go so wrong. I've been behind the door giving two fingered compressions on a newborn the size of my hand while the parents cry and the family demands answers. I've woken in a cold sweat that it would be me on the bed asking for my baby. When I was in an interview they asked if I would work in NICU with the preterm babies and I told them I would prefer to work with adults.
Everything this woman went through is what I am afraid will happen to me. It's the road I'm terrified I'm already on.
Then I got home and pulled out a dusty radio because I had to finish it. I had to know that everything would be okay for them.
But when she described the disasociation with her body, everyone telling her it was okay but her fear still teling her she was stuck in a nightmare. Yeah, I bawled HARD.
Empathy is a strange beast. To sympathise, but then to pull it in deeper and project yourself in their circumstances. The pain of my own month after month disapointment with theirs. My loss with thiers.
I wish someone could jump to the end of my tale and tell me it's going to be okay. That things work out.
If any of you guys time travel, remember me fondly.
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/docproject/my-surrogate-and-me-an-unconventional-arrangement-takes-an-unexpected-turn-1.3829589
You should be able to listen to the documentary on the link above. It's about 25 minutes and even the introduction made me bawl.
Listening to it brought out all of my fears about infertility. All of my rotations in the hospitals where I have seen this go so wrong. I've been behind the door giving two fingered compressions on a newborn the size of my hand while the parents cry and the family demands answers. I've woken in a cold sweat that it would be me on the bed asking for my baby. When I was in an interview they asked if I would work in NICU with the preterm babies and I told them I would prefer to work with adults.
Everything this woman went through is what I am afraid will happen to me. It's the road I'm terrified I'm already on.
Then I got home and pulled out a dusty radio because I had to finish it. I had to know that everything would be okay for them.
But when she described the disasociation with her body, everyone telling her it was okay but her fear still teling her she was stuck in a nightmare. Yeah, I bawled HARD.
Empathy is a strange beast. To sympathise, but then to pull it in deeper and project yourself in their circumstances. The pain of my own month after month disapointment with theirs. My loss with thiers.
I wish someone could jump to the end of my tale and tell me it's going to be okay. That things work out.
If any of you guys time travel, remember me fondly.