duh

[andrea622]

duh first sorry i for some reason thought trace's bday was today but it's tomorrow. TODAY is my sad day. Today one year ago I did the most morally disgusting thing I've ever done but it still turned out to be the best decision for the situation. How is that possible? I sound wrong just saying that. All I know is I wish the whole thing never

Comments

[mariwhite]

I've seen a lot of marriages that start out being purely for convenience that turn into wonderful, passionate relationships. They say the best relationships start out as the best friendships. Like Tracey said though, you have to consider his feelings, and yours if that never happens and you never feel for him what he feels for you. Do you want to spend your life with a man who you're not in love with?

Have you looked into drawing disability or SSI? They will both offer medicaid for as long as you receive benefits regardless of your state's medicaid limits. They also give you monthly income to help pay the bills when you can't work a 40 hour week like you could before. There's no shame in it. I've been in SSI since I was 19 for my artificial leg and the only reason I'm not on full disability is that I hadn't worked enough to pay into it.

Do what you have to do to take care of your kids, they come first as you know. But don't do something to jeapordize your happiness. Now or in the future. You've seen so much sorrow and darkness already, it's time to let some sunlight in.

Tracey is also right about the anniversary. You need to stop beating yourself up over it. You did what you thought was best for you and your children. You need to forgive yourself.