Hop to it!
Tell me anonymously what you think of me:
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- good traits
- bad traits
- annoying habits
- words I say too much
- strange behavior
as far as you wanting comments about yourself Holly, i'll leave those interspersed with my other comments. now, i'll be dealing with this, piece by piece.
"First off, stop complaining... Give it another 7 years, then start complaining."
-(cropped for space and redundancy's sake) Holly, you're a beautiful and bright young woman, but the only way any of us can figure out what we want out of a partner is to try, fail, perhaps miserably, then get back up and change what we're looking for. and many times during a relationship though have i lacked the confidence in myself to know what i want; personally, if that doesn't happen, i believe something is wrong. if you know what you do and don't want from a partner, and you see those qualities in them, why not just stop your search and marry them on the spot? (insert sarcasm here) after all, it's not like a human being changes thoughts, interests, tastes, etc., over time (end sarcasm). but these are the reasons why we must check ourselves constantly, to make sure we are being true to ourselves.
"Secondly, stop drawing so goddamn much... not revolve utterly around sex."
- i don't even know where to begin with this. especially when combined with later sentences in the post, it proves confusing and contradictory. combined examination of this information and:
"You are looking for people's advice on what to become.
So ultimately, you are looking to what people decide for you? That's low, even for you." yields interesting results. so, you want Holly to become respected by others by shielding her sexuality or her announcement of it, yet you do not want her to know what others think of her? really? that doesn't strike you as, oh i don't know, confusing (and in the same sentence, truly disrespectful)? or are you just 'watching out for her well-being,' so to speak? making sure others respect her for who she is? if those people do not respect her in the first place, and if she is being what is natural to her, then those people don't need to be around her, nor does she need their opinions as friends. you're being hypocritical in your approach to her sexuality: you want her to face it and understand that it is 'wrong' as viewed by others, yet you also want her to know that she should not allow people's opinions to come into her thought processes.
"That's low, even for you."
- you would dare to look down on someone asking for help in seeking who they are? who they want to be? asking help from friends, no less. no, she is not looking for people to decide for her; only to respond encouragingly to this post and to express their opinions, not commands. perhaps you should keep your opinions to yourself in the future, and i'll do likewise with mine.
Holly, i haven't talked to you for a bit, but whenever i have spoken to you, you have been kind, fair, considerate, and thoughtful. occasionally, yes, you can be self-centered, but so does everyone- if you rein in some of the times that you are self-centered in public or in the company of one or two people, these comments will go away and people will drop that association of you. as far as the post i'm commenting on goes, take it with a large grain of salt. as far as my post goes, take it with an even bigger grain of salt.
only you can change who you are, both a blessing and a curse. a blessing that no one else can make you change, and a curse that only so much can be done by others to make you see what you need to change. whether you decide that these posts are indicative of your choice to change being a blessing or a curse is up to you.
for me, if i do not talk to you again, that's my loss. i hope that this isn't the case.
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