(no subject)
Slowly I'm healing. So many unfortunate events in my life that, when they occur, my brain reverts to what I call my "high school self" the self that is insecure and childish, the self that wants to cry and sleep forever. I know that my mother passing away has affected me more than I'd like it to. I needed therapy or someone to talk to, instead I ignored the fact that it ever happened. I reached for love from people I hardly knew and were definitely not looking out for me. In fact back then all I knew were fakes phonies and frauds.
I was and still am afraid of being vulnerable. I'm trying to better my life by being cautious of who I choose to talk to. I use to talk to everyone. But now, no. It's weird though because this city grows all the time and I'm so afraid to talk to these new people. I find myself immediately thinking that they're going to fuck me over.
Epiphanies more often, and I did hate being young. It was awful. I think with no guidance it sucked. My life has definitely suffered.
Where do I go from here? Do I do what I feel is right for right now? I know I need to, or I'll be unhappy in the end.
First update from a smartphone. I've been waiting for a legit LJ smartphone app but it never happened. I still don't have the app. Oooo technology. Woo!
Anyway love has changed, life has changed. Some days I'm broke some days I make $100 in thirty minutes and sometimes a steady $22-$60 an hour. I keep this to myself most of the time. I'm just like that. No one has ever helped me with anything beneficial.
Yes I'm definitely a changed female. I hardly believe in anything anymore. Love exists but its more accessible and for that reason its temporary. Thank you social media for allowing my lovers to keep other lovers on the backburner. Thank you social media for showing us there really are other fish in the sea.
you young confused selfish inexperienced insecure ignorant over-privileged college student.
Now my boyfriend gets off to all of your selfies,
I was and still am afraid of being vulnerable. I'm trying to better my life by being cautious of who I choose to talk to. I use to talk to everyone. But now, no. It's weird though because this city grows all the time and I'm so afraid to talk to these new people. I find myself immediately thinking that they're going to fuck me over.
Epiphanies more often, and I did hate being young. It was awful. I think with no guidance it sucked. My life has definitely suffered.
Where do I go from here? Do I do what I feel is right for right now? I know I need to, or I'll be unhappy in the end.
First update from a smartphone. I've been waiting for a legit LJ smartphone app but it never happened. I still don't have the app. Oooo technology. Woo!
Anyway love has changed, life has changed. Some days I'm broke some days I make $100 in thirty minutes and sometimes a steady $22-$60 an hour. I keep this to myself most of the time. I'm just like that. No one has ever helped me with anything beneficial.
Yes I'm definitely a changed female. I hardly believe in anything anymore. Love exists but its more accessible and for that reason its temporary. Thank you social media for allowing my lovers to keep other lovers on the backburner. Thank you social media for showing us there really are other fish in the sea.
you young confused selfish inexperienced insecure ignorant over-privileged college student.
Now my boyfriend gets off to all of your selfies,