Think, write
Writing to clear my head. I haven't done that in quite some time ...
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I am too impressionable. I didn't think I'd say, or admit to, that at the age of 25. But that is the truth. The truth is that my personality is too malleable. I shapeshift into whatever's in my proximity. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
I try to become all things to all people. And sometimes I feel like I'm running in some directionless Brownian zigzag.
I read an article, and I become inspired to do something, read something, think something, say something. Then I come across another text, which influences me to do something else, read something else, think something else. Then I'd have a conversation, and try to impress by being someone I'm not truly sure I am.
I catch myself in these moments of confusion nowadays. How can I be everything at once? I can only be one thing. But what should that thing be? What should I be? It is always in these moments that I remind myself: my ultimate and most conclusive identity is in Christ - is to be found in Christ.
So here I am, reminding myself that before I become anything, I must first become Christ. To emulate his actions, to emulate his speech, to read his Word, to think his thoughts. So that I will not ever become lost in this world that is out to pull me in all sorts of different directions, but I will instead stand firm on my Rock.
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When Paul said that he became all things to all people (1 Corinthians 9:22), it was so that he "might save some". This world has twisted my innate desire to please and conform and fit in from something that can be used for "the sake of the gospel, that I may share with [the world] in its blessings" into something that distracts me from what the Lord desires of me.
Jesus warned his disciples that following him and his teaching will do quite the opposite of allowing them to fit in; the world will hate them, they will be shunned and persecuted, but if they want to be his followers, then they will have to put up with it anyway.
I want to be ready to make such a sacrifice.
Some days I feel brave enough, others I don't. I mostly don't. But I want to be able to stand up for what I believe in, in a manner that glorifies him and does justice to his wisdom, love, mercy and righteousness all at the same time. Will I ever get to that stage? I guess time will tell.
And I guess I just found a hint to what I need to mould myself into.
-
I am too impressionable. I didn't think I'd say, or admit to, that at the age of 25. But that is the truth. The truth is that my personality is too malleable. I shapeshift into whatever's in my proximity. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
I try to become all things to all people. And sometimes I feel like I'm running in some directionless Brownian zigzag.
I read an article, and I become inspired to do something, read something, think something, say something. Then I come across another text, which influences me to do something else, read something else, think something else. Then I'd have a conversation, and try to impress by being someone I'm not truly sure I am.
I catch myself in these moments of confusion nowadays. How can I be everything at once? I can only be one thing. But what should that thing be? What should I be? It is always in these moments that I remind myself: my ultimate and most conclusive identity is in Christ - is to be found in Christ.
So here I am, reminding myself that before I become anything, I must first become Christ. To emulate his actions, to emulate his speech, to read his Word, to think his thoughts. So that I will not ever become lost in this world that is out to pull me in all sorts of different directions, but I will instead stand firm on my Rock.
-
When Paul said that he became all things to all people (1 Corinthians 9:22), it was so that he "might save some". This world has twisted my innate desire to please and conform and fit in from something that can be used for "the sake of the gospel, that I may share with [the world] in its blessings" into something that distracts me from what the Lord desires of me.
Jesus warned his disciples that following him and his teaching will do quite the opposite of allowing them to fit in; the world will hate them, they will be shunned and persecuted, but if they want to be his followers, then they will have to put up with it anyway.
I want to be ready to make such a sacrifice.
Some days I feel brave enough, others I don't. I mostly don't. But I want to be able to stand up for what I believe in, in a manner that glorifies him and does justice to his wisdom, love, mercy and righteousness all at the same time. Will I ever get to that stage? I guess time will tell.
And I guess I just found a hint to what I need to mould myself into.