On applications and the like.
I’ve recently admitted to myself that I despise applications. By ‘despise,’ I mean I hate them to the point that I will procrastinate finishing them until the latest possible day and/or hour. Considering that in the past two months I’ve filled more applications than I have in the past two years, you can imagine the state I’m in.
And for those of you hoping to do your Ph.D. at some point, those are some of the worst applications. Not only do you get to stare at undergraduate course grades that you hoped would never see the light, but the stupidly-named ‘Statement of Purpose’ forces a very humbling bout of introspection. What do I want to do in the next five years of my life, other than continue breathing? What are my academic and professional plans? Why am I applying for this program?
I call the ‘Statement of Purpose’ a stupid title because, let’s face it, does anyone really know their purpose for getting a Ph.D.? We want to go into academia/industry/consulting/government and we want to be respected for our knowledge and skills. We want to prove to ourselves that we are worthy of a higher education, that we are not our parents in some form/fashion academically. We’re looking for a change of scenery both in faculty and research opportunities. We are pushing ourselves forward, driven on by an innate desire to do something more with our lives.
None of those reasons can be stated as purposes to an admission committee, can they? So we’re then forced to turn to our pasts to validate ourselves. Personally, I hate doing that. I already psychoanalyze myself on a regular basis, and I have learned enough thus far to change my direction; I have no desire to explain those moments of clarity, nor do I like grazing over the stickier moments of my past with inanities.
I felt what I felt and I did what I did. I ain’t proud of it, but I am proud of who I’ve become. That, in my humble opinion, should be enough for an admissions committee - not a 1200-word life story that teeters on the rough edge of accuracy.
Originally published at awaitstheday. You can comment here or there.