i wish i could turn off my brain
i don't think it's even possible to put into words how many things are spinning out of control in my head right now. it's the strangest thing. i can't approach any situation lately without over analyzing every tiny detail of it. it seems like my life is at a total freeze point, and i'm standing back, looking on with a hundred options on where to go from here, but no real assurance that any of them will be the right choice. i guess no one ever has that, and wanting it is being a little greedy, but i can't help thinking there has to be some sort of sign or major something that would make me go..."oh, that's definitely what i need to do."
i've always been a little bit of a control freak. not with other people, but with myself. i've always known what i'm going to do, why i'm going to do it, and how it will be accomplished. it's just always been that way for me. i don't know any of those things right now. which is pretty funny, because it was only a few months ago i posted an entry about how i knew everything i wanted to do from this point on.
i will say, however, that i am slowly beginning to say to myself.... you have made these options possible. alot of people don't have any of these options, and i consider myself lucky, even though i'm confused.
i've always been a little bit of a control freak. not with other people, but with myself. i've always known what i'm going to do, why i'm going to do it, and how it will be accomplished. it's just always been that way for me. i don't know any of those things right now. which is pretty funny, because it was only a few months ago i posted an entry about how i knew everything i wanted to do from this point on.
i will say, however, that i am slowly beginning to say to myself.... you have made these options possible. alot of people don't have any of these options, and i consider myself lucky, even though i'm confused.