(no subject)
so i just found out that my real dad...(sperm donor) is curaintly unemployed... which means no child support which means no damn food... which means life sucks. so i guess me mother is going to get a part time job. that sucks i hate this shit why cant my dad care or give a damn about us. and i dont agree with my mother and i dont agree with my father. if we get child support the majority goes to pot... because it is sent to my motherand if we dont get child support we have an excuse to not have anything basically i am really happy im not in kentucky right now.
this whole whatever i feel with jeremiah is just stupid i give up thinking about relationships. because no matter what they all suck...eventually.
ive been thinking about my life so far and what i predict for the future and i dont think it is worth living... basically the thing the keeps me alive is that other peoples lifes suck to and that i have friends.
recap on my life:
my childhood sucked...whoever beats their children or rapes the 7 yr. old they should be babysitting..in my eyes doesn't deserve to live.. they should all be killed.
i have acceped the fact that my mother could never change my childhood or the things that have happened in the past.but the way i see it she could change the fact that i am not a mother and that my life should not consist of being locked up in the house, and constantly babysitting herHER son... its not my fault she got knocked up when she was 17and ruined her teens but the way i see it she is doing the same thing to me.
and i am so sick of the cycle... the life that is more like hell.
the fact that my rents think that teens have no stress but i have so much ... the fact that my rents say that i put so much stress on the family but i am not that one that spends all the money on pot... and i am not the one that is having an affair and i am not the one that is ruining my childs life...
I GIVE UP TRYING TO CHANGE THE WAY LIFE TREATS ME. I GIVE UP THINKING ABOUT THE FAMILY WHEN THEY DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME. I GIVE UP TRYING TO BE HAPPY WHEN INSIDE I AM BROKEN. I GIVE UP ON THIS LIFE. I AM WEAK I CANT DO IT ANYMORE.
this whole whatever i feel with jeremiah is just stupid i give up thinking about relationships. because no matter what they all suck...eventually.
ive been thinking about my life so far and what i predict for the future and i dont think it is worth living... basically the thing the keeps me alive is that other peoples lifes suck to and that i have friends.
recap on my life:
my childhood sucked...whoever beats their children or rapes the 7 yr. old they should be babysitting..in my eyes doesn't deserve to live.. they should all be killed.
i have acceped the fact that my mother could never change my childhood or the things that have happened in the past.but the way i see it she could change the fact that i am not a mother and that my life should not consist of being locked up in the house, and constantly babysitting herHER son... its not my fault she got knocked up when she was 17and ruined her teens but the way i see it she is doing the same thing to me.
and i am so sick of the cycle... the life that is more like hell.
the fact that my rents think that teens have no stress but i have so much ... the fact that my rents say that i put so much stress on the family but i am not that one that spends all the money on pot... and i am not the one that is having an affair and i am not the one that is ruining my childs life...
I GIVE UP TRYING TO CHANGE THE WAY LIFE TREATS ME. I GIVE UP THINKING ABOUT THE FAMILY WHEN THEY DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME. I GIVE UP TRYING TO BE HAPPY WHEN INSIDE I AM BROKEN. I GIVE UP ON THIS LIFE. I AM WEAK I CANT DO IT ANYMORE.