I don't walk when there's a stone in my shoe
I feel so angry now, I really don't even remember when was the last time I was this full of pure, deep anger.
Really, I'm so pissed off I don't know if it's even possible. My mum (god, I wonder how I can call her mum anymore) has been a total bitch for last few weeks and it's only getting worse. Now she's trying to separate me from my friends here, with no reason. My friends are okay, and she doesn't know even one of them. I really hate when she's doing something like that. She is complaining about everything I do and blaming me about things I don't even have a clue. She acts like a fucking teenager, and I really hate it. She's supposed to be my mother for god's sake ! Just the fact she has a friend here living with us cannot make her to forget the fact that she's 48years old and a MOTHER. Her friend has been living in MY room for over three weeks and then she dares to complain about my friends and my personality! She doesn't talk to me, she's only shouting and critisizing me very roughly and then she goes to her friend and tells her how awful, terrible daughter she has and how I'm hurting our family and my friends.
I fuckin' hate this and I really want my mum's friend to go away. She's nice person, but she doesn't understand me at all.
I also have problems with my friends, because I really feel like I'm getting too close for one of them (not like I would ever have a crush on her, it's not like that) and I want to get rid of her. I actually don't wanna see her ever again, but she thinks were like the best friends in the world so I'm quite distressed about this.
Then, this another thing. Yesterday I heard that one guy, who I have known for few weeks, has a crush on me, and surprise surprise; I don't feel anything like that. I thought he was a good friend and like a big brother for me, but no. FOR FUCK'S SAKE I CANNOT BE THAT IRRESISTIBLE! I feel so angry about this. I really do, 1) because I have a crush on someone else, who is so attractive I have met only one other person in my life who is that attractive 2) I could never ever think about him like that 3) he is/was my very good friend. I HATE THIS SO MUCH. Plus he's so not my type.
Thank god in July I'm at Ylöjärvi for 9-10 days, 4 days at kid's camp as some kind of instructor, 5 days canoeing with 26 other people and maybe for a week I go to Sweden to visit my aunt with my cousin. I know I can't stay at home, because I will loose my mind with my parents and brothers.
Whoah, now I'm little bit more relaxed. I maybe should go to bed. I should've met some of my friends, but I won't because I'm tired and my mum will be angry. Even though I would meet my crush and other lovely people... No. I think I'll just get a glass of cold hot chocolate, write, listen to McFLY and self-pity myself.
Sounds awesome.
Really, I'm so pissed off I don't know if it's even possible. My mum (god, I wonder how I can call her mum anymore) has been a total bitch for last few weeks and it's only getting worse. Now she's trying to separate me from my friends here, with no reason. My friends are okay, and she doesn't know even one of them. I really hate when she's doing something like that. She is complaining about everything I do and blaming me about things I don't even have a clue. She acts like a fucking teenager, and I really hate it. She's supposed to be my mother for god's sake ! Just the fact she has a friend here living with us cannot make her to forget the fact that she's 48years old and a MOTHER. Her friend has been living in MY room for over three weeks and then she dares to complain about my friends and my personality! She doesn't talk to me, she's only shouting and critisizing me very roughly and then she goes to her friend and tells her how awful, terrible daughter she has and how I'm hurting our family and my friends.
I fuckin' hate this and I really want my mum's friend to go away. She's nice person, but she doesn't understand me at all.
I also have problems with my friends, because I really feel like I'm getting too close for one of them (not like I would ever have a crush on her, it's not like that) and I want to get rid of her. I actually don't wanna see her ever again, but she thinks were like the best friends in the world so I'm quite distressed about this.
Then, this another thing. Yesterday I heard that one guy, who I have known for few weeks, has a crush on me, and surprise surprise; I don't feel anything like that. I thought he was a good friend and like a big brother for me, but no. FOR FUCK'S SAKE I CANNOT BE THAT IRRESISTIBLE! I feel so angry about this. I really do, 1) because I have a crush on someone else, who is so attractive I have met only one other person in my life who is that attractive 2) I could never ever think about him like that 3) he is/was my very good friend. I HATE THIS SO MUCH. Plus he's so not my type.
Thank god in July I'm at Ylöjärvi for 9-10 days, 4 days at kid's camp as some kind of instructor, 5 days canoeing with 26 other people and maybe for a week I go to Sweden to visit my aunt with my cousin. I know I can't stay at home, because I will loose my mind with my parents and brothers.
Whoah, now I'm little bit more relaxed. I maybe should go to bed. I should've met some of my friends, but I won't because I'm tired and my mum will be angry. Even though I would meet my crush and other lovely people... No. I think I'll just get a glass of cold hot chocolate, write, listen to McFLY and self-pity myself.
Sounds awesome.