Goddesses
The difference between truly great and only sort of great people is their frequency and skill at insulting others. Let's look at some examples. Sort of Great scientist Niels Bohr would often say to his rival scientists "you are offensive to me in some way" which is a good insult, but not great. Truly great scientist Albert Einstein would say "Yo Momma's so fat that she can never reach or exceed the speed of 'heavy'", now that'll win you a Nobel Prize. So when you insult someone, make it worth while. Here are a few ideas you can build on:
Momma jokes are always funny, the more absurd, the better. "Yo momma walks so funny the she has rug-burns on her face."
Threats to ones personal safety are always good. "The last sound you'll ever hear is your screams muffled by your own butt."
Compare them, or their actions, to something bad. "Trumping that trick was like ripping off your arms and legs before competing in an arms and legs having competition."
Say something simple and exaggerated with a touch of nonsense. "How did you even find the time to become so ugly?"
Start with something nice, but make a last minute turn to mean. "You're tuba playing sounds like a beautiful bird--being torn apart by grizzly bears which are on fire."
Let them do the work. Say something not so insulting, and when they're insulted by it, it shows they don't understand things. "Nice wallet, wallet face."
Quote the Grinch song. "The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, 'Stink, stank, stunk!'"
Call a guy Suzan. "How's it going, Suzan?"
Call a guy Suzan twice. "Hey Suzan, how's it going, Suzan?"
Combine all of the above rules into one super-insult. "Missing that shot was understandable, Suzan, given you were deafened by yo mommas stink after her morning ritual of having sex with Hitler and eating babies. But I'm still going to nail your lower lip to your forehead so you will suffocate from the termites in your smile, Suzan."
Now you're ready to face the world, a-hole.
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying." - Woody Allen
Momma jokes are always funny, the more absurd, the better. "Yo momma walks so funny the she has rug-burns on her face."
Threats to ones personal safety are always good. "The last sound you'll ever hear is your screams muffled by your own butt."
Compare them, or their actions, to something bad. "Trumping that trick was like ripping off your arms and legs before competing in an arms and legs having competition."
Say something simple and exaggerated with a touch of nonsense. "How did you even find the time to become so ugly?"
Start with something nice, but make a last minute turn to mean. "You're tuba playing sounds like a beautiful bird--being torn apart by grizzly bears which are on fire."
Let them do the work. Say something not so insulting, and when they're insulted by it, it shows they don't understand things. "Nice wallet, wallet face."
Quote the Grinch song. "The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, 'Stink, stank, stunk!'"
Call a guy Suzan. "How's it going, Suzan?"
Call a guy Suzan twice. "Hey Suzan, how's it going, Suzan?"
Combine all of the above rules into one super-insult. "Missing that shot was understandable, Suzan, given you were deafened by yo mommas stink after her morning ritual of having sex with Hitler and eating babies. But I'm still going to nail your lower lip to your forehead so you will suffocate from the termites in your smile, Suzan."
Now you're ready to face the world, a-hole.
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying." - Woody Allen