HAPPY 4TH OF JULY YA"LL!
just because im canadian doesnt mean i can't celebrate as well! :)
i cannot believe the last entry i wrote was in november. so i guess i'll just start over with this.
for the last 3 months i have been dating this boy who i was like DAMNNNNNN the first time i met him. we started dating and everything was soooo great. near the end of may i was like wow i think i reaaly like this boy i may even love him. but then everything i felt was taken away by reading facebook. some girl posted on his wall about how lame it would be if his girlfriend found out that he kissed this girl at a party the night before. i have never ever felt so hurt. we are still together but sometimes i wonder if its for the right reasons. i do care for him soo much, but am i just being a stupid girl not wanting to be alone or losing him to some slut? i dont really know. right now i do trust him, he is home. but im so affraid that as soon as he goes back from season it will be the same all over again. its not like hes far and its not like he hadnt seen me right before he did this. it bothers me so much that he wasnt thinking of me when he did that. and now the fall will come around he will be back and i wont be able to visit him all the time, as ill be in season for three months. its just so hard. FUCK. im soo scared and hurt. i just want this to feel better.
"Should've Said No"- Taylor Swift
It's strange to think the songs we used to sing
The smiles, the flowers, everything: is gone
Yesterday I found out about you
Even now just looking at you: feels wrong
You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes...
[Chorus:]
You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice before you let it all go
You should've know that word, bout what you did with her
Would get back to me...
And I should've been there, in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet...
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me
You can see that I've been crying
And baby you know all the right things: to say
But do you honestly expect me to believe
We could ever be the same...
You say that the past is the past, you need one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes...
[Repeat Chorus]
I can't resist... before you go, tell me this
Was it worth it...
Was she worth this...
No... no no no...