(no subject)
this is so insane
no one does this anymore everyones on myspace but its ok because i need to get my feelings written down and as gay as that may seem its the truth
i dont even no what i feel anymore its so insane realationships in my life right now are so messed up. i find myself getting incredibly fed up at the people that i love and cherish the most. im constatly quesitoning myself and wondering why the hell my parents dont trust me remotely as much as the should because i dont do stuff like that its sad that the last thing i got in trouble was for not keeping my room clean. is that seriously what my life is? is that how on edge i live? because if it is thats so pathetic and it needs to change asap. this is high school and i should be having the time of my life but instead im counting the days i leave for college. dont get me wrong im going to miss people from high school but im going to miss the pointless drama(that everyone pretends to hate but secretly lives for) and the cliques. im caught in this retarded gap where i no i need to grow up i just dont want to. i have a job that i hate and that scares me..if i cant handle something for one summer how am i supposed to do something for the rest of my life?! secretly i think im scared of commitment. there i said it. commitment terrifies me the thought of settling down and deciding on one certain thing terrifies me..now what do i do about it?
no one does this anymore everyones on myspace but its ok because i need to get my feelings written down and as gay as that may seem its the truth
i dont even no what i feel anymore its so insane realationships in my life right now are so messed up. i find myself getting incredibly fed up at the people that i love and cherish the most. im constatly quesitoning myself and wondering why the hell my parents dont trust me remotely as much as the should because i dont do stuff like that its sad that the last thing i got in trouble was for not keeping my room clean. is that seriously what my life is? is that how on edge i live? because if it is thats so pathetic and it needs to change asap. this is high school and i should be having the time of my life but instead im counting the days i leave for college. dont get me wrong im going to miss people from high school but im going to miss the pointless drama(that everyone pretends to hate but secretly lives for) and the cliques. im caught in this retarded gap where i no i need to grow up i just dont want to. i have a job that i hate and that scares me..if i cant handle something for one summer how am i supposed to do something for the rest of my life?! secretly i think im scared of commitment. there i said it. commitment terrifies me the thought of settling down and deciding on one certain thing terrifies me..now what do i do about it?