I think I'll quit school and join the circus
I got my midterm grades today in my mailbox. After I almost fainted, I ripped them up and threw them away. If I even want to think about having the GPA I had last semester, I better start working a lot harder. This semester is so much harder than last year. It may be no excuse but I should get some credit for trying.
This time I don't care. I mean, I care but not as much. I'm taking Dinosauria just to fill a core requirement. It's a lot harder than I would have thought. But of course, I don't care about that class so I am not doing well like I should be. My other grades need to come up but I know I can do it. Up until now, I would tell myself that if I failed a test it would be okay because I had others to bring it up. I can't do that anymore. I need to buckle down and focus. Of couse I'm writing this while I should be doing work. Figures.
I think what isn't helping is other things going on in my life. I am still grieving and I'm having trouble with that. I injured my knee and wrist and whenever I get injured I get really depressed. I have a wrist guard on my writing wrist which means I can't write. That slows things up a lot. And other stuff that shouldn't be as powerful to my feelings as they actually are. :(
I honestly don't know what will motivate me to do better. I have a bet with a friend: the person with the lower GPA has to buy the winner dinner. But even that doesn't motivate me as much anymore.
I don't know what to do and I'm extremely worried....and only I can fix the problem.