Fic: Everything That I Remember
Author: 
andibeth82
Rating: G
Fandom: LOST
Characters: James/Juliet
Spoilers: General Season 5
Word Count: 1,155
Note: Set in the Sideways world before the vending machine meeting. Juliet keeps having flashes but she doesn't know what they mean.
Pre-dawn light snakes through the window and Juliet rolls over in bed, the covers sliding off her back. One perfectly manicured hand reaches out across the mattress and immediately recoils when it comes away touching nothingness.
There’s a dull ache in her chest that has nothing to do with not being able to sleep. Sometimes she’s so sure she’s dreaming about him. Not Jack, not her ex-husband. Someone else, someone who she’s sure she knows but can’t figure out how. Or why this person would be in bed with her in the first place.
Everything is a little fuzzy when it comes to memories, but it’s always been like that. She confides in her sister sometimes during their visits, but Rachel’s no help, always telling her that she’s overreacting and that when she was a child she probably hit her head or something.
Or something.
-
Even though she’s divorced, she’s been able to keep an amicable relationship with Jack. It’s mostly for David’s sake, but she still doesn’t mind that she’s often stuck picking him up at the airport when he flies out for his many medical conferences. She drums her fingers against the steering wheel, fiddling with the knob on the car radio. Strains of Geranimo Jackson filter through the speakers and she wonders why she always seems to have such an affinity towards 70’s music.
A tall brunette with curls cascading down her spine exits the baggage claim area and stops near the cab stand, almost in front of her car. She’s never seen the woman before in her life, and yet for some reason, Juliet feels herself grow intensely protective and hateful all at the same time. Her eyes narrow.
Sometimes the memories find her in the strangest of places - the waiting room of a doctor’s office, the car as she waits for David after school, the kitchen as she prepares another dinner of pasta and salad. Sometimes the fuzz clears just enough for the memories to be lucid, but they’re always gone before she has a chance to realize what they mean or who exactly they refer to.
“Sawyer. You really care about him, don’t you?”
-
She doesn’t get out much, her job keeps her from having a normal lifestyle like other mothers in the neighborhood. At least, that’s what Juliet always rationalizes when she sits at home drinking alone. She’s lost track of how many bottles of rum she’s managed to go through since the divorce, but she’s pretty sure she can buy stock in Captain Morgan by now.
She gets up from the couch and heads towards the kitchen, catching her reflection in the hall mirror as she passes by. Her hair is pulled back in a messy bun, and her face harbors dark circles underneath her eyes. She drops the empty bottle into the bin labeled for recycling, and stares at the refrigerator. A few old receipts, some business cards, and some pictures of David and her sister litter the front of the door. There’s also a postcard from Ann Arbor hanging crookedly by one magnet. Jack had visited Michigan last year on a conference.
“What are we gonna do when we get to Ann Arbor?”
“We ain't going to Ann Arbor.”
“What do you mean?”
“These guys ain't cops. They got no authority over us back in the real world. So once we dock, wherever we dock…we're free.”
She’s never been to Ann Arbor before and has never even thought about planning a trip there. For some reason, though, the place feels deeply personal, and so she’s never been able to throw away the postcard.
-
Someone at the hospital asks her for help in planning a trip for their honeymoon. Juliet’s not sure if she’s one to be giving any advice on travel considering she hasn’t been anywhere in over a year, but she agrees anyway because she really has no other reason not to.
It’s downtime on the night shift, and she’s sipping on her coffee, thinking about how the vending machine really needs more variety of flavors. She’s half-listening to her colleague rattle off ideas and trying to keep up with her thoughts.
“…And we were thinking we could do a hike through one of those craters in Australia - they’re supposed to be really cool and we’re both avid outdoor people. And there’s also a submarine ride you can take, they leave around the clock from this little village off-shore and it’s supposed to be so wonderful and romantic!”
Something pulls inside of her, and suddenly her head is filled with flashes of a dock beneath her feet and blue and green and the sound of laughing and someone sitting next to her, hair falling in his face, a grin that makes her feel safe and warm.
“Come on. Just give me two weeks. That’s all I’m asking. Two weeks.”
Juliet blinks, and the memory vanishes. Her friend is still going on about romantic honeymoon getaways, but she’s no longer listening. She’s instead staring out the window and noticing how the moonlight glints off the trees. It’s the middle of the night and it seems as though the outside world is suddenly too quiet.
-
Juliet’s on her hands and knees, peeling back thick black tarp. She doesn’t really want to open the pool this year - for some reason, a seemingly endless vat of water and a hole in the ground makes her feel uneasy and almost a little scared. Juliet’s never liked the fact they had a pool in the first place but she knows it’s important to David, and this is the first year Jack hasn’t been around to help out, and so she’s trying her best to please him.
“Mom?”
She turns in place, sees David standing against the screen door. His hair is falling over his eyes, and he’s staring at her with a wide-eyed look, slightly concerned. “There’s a guy at the door that’s asking for you.”
Juliet furrows her brow and gets up, wiping her wet hands against her jeans, glad for a break from the activity she considers close to her worst nightmare.
“Thanks, buddy. I got it.”
Passing a quick but reassuring smile, she moves through the house until she reaches the entryway. She rounds the corner, her hand readying to reach the door handle but finds that she doesn’t need to. The door has been left open, revealing a tall man on the other side of the threshold. His leather jacket is fitted almost exactly to his upper body, and his long blonde hair falls in waves around his stubbled chin.
“Whatever happens, I got your back, remember?”
Something about him is so vaguely familiar, but Juliet knows she’s never had any encounter with any kind of cop in her life.
“Hello…Mrs. Carlson? My name’s Detective Ford with the LAPD. I was wondering if I might have a few moments of your time.”
andibeth82
Rating: G
Fandom: LOST
Characters: James/Juliet
Spoilers: General Season 5
Word Count: 1,155
Note: Set in the Sideways world before the vending machine meeting. Juliet keeps having flashes but she doesn't know what they mean.
Pre-dawn light snakes through the window and Juliet rolls over in bed, the covers sliding off her back. One perfectly manicured hand reaches out across the mattress and immediately recoils when it comes away touching nothingness.
There’s a dull ache in her chest that has nothing to do with not being able to sleep. Sometimes she’s so sure she’s dreaming about him. Not Jack, not her ex-husband. Someone else, someone who she’s sure she knows but can’t figure out how. Or why this person would be in bed with her in the first place.
Everything is a little fuzzy when it comes to memories, but it’s always been like that. She confides in her sister sometimes during their visits, but Rachel’s no help, always telling her that she’s overreacting and that when she was a child she probably hit her head or something.
Or something.
-
Even though she’s divorced, she’s been able to keep an amicable relationship with Jack. It’s mostly for David’s sake, but she still doesn’t mind that she’s often stuck picking him up at the airport when he flies out for his many medical conferences. She drums her fingers against the steering wheel, fiddling with the knob on the car radio. Strains of Geranimo Jackson filter through the speakers and she wonders why she always seems to have such an affinity towards 70’s music.
A tall brunette with curls cascading down her spine exits the baggage claim area and stops near the cab stand, almost in front of her car. She’s never seen the woman before in her life, and yet for some reason, Juliet feels herself grow intensely protective and hateful all at the same time. Her eyes narrow.
Sometimes the memories find her in the strangest of places - the waiting room of a doctor’s office, the car as she waits for David after school, the kitchen as she prepares another dinner of pasta and salad. Sometimes the fuzz clears just enough for the memories to be lucid, but they’re always gone before she has a chance to realize what they mean or who exactly they refer to.
“Sawyer. You really care about him, don’t you?”
-
She doesn’t get out much, her job keeps her from having a normal lifestyle like other mothers in the neighborhood. At least, that’s what Juliet always rationalizes when she sits at home drinking alone. She’s lost track of how many bottles of rum she’s managed to go through since the divorce, but she’s pretty sure she can buy stock in Captain Morgan by now.
She gets up from the couch and heads towards the kitchen, catching her reflection in the hall mirror as she passes by. Her hair is pulled back in a messy bun, and her face harbors dark circles underneath her eyes. She drops the empty bottle into the bin labeled for recycling, and stares at the refrigerator. A few old receipts, some business cards, and some pictures of David and her sister litter the front of the door. There’s also a postcard from Ann Arbor hanging crookedly by one magnet. Jack had visited Michigan last year on a conference.
“What are we gonna do when we get to Ann Arbor?”
“We ain't going to Ann Arbor.”
“What do you mean?”
“These guys ain't cops. They got no authority over us back in the real world. So once we dock, wherever we dock…we're free.”
She’s never been to Ann Arbor before and has never even thought about planning a trip there. For some reason, though, the place feels deeply personal, and so she’s never been able to throw away the postcard.
-
Someone at the hospital asks her for help in planning a trip for their honeymoon. Juliet’s not sure if she’s one to be giving any advice on travel considering she hasn’t been anywhere in over a year, but she agrees anyway because she really has no other reason not to.
It’s downtime on the night shift, and she’s sipping on her coffee, thinking about how the vending machine really needs more variety of flavors. She’s half-listening to her colleague rattle off ideas and trying to keep up with her thoughts.
“…And we were thinking we could do a hike through one of those craters in Australia - they’re supposed to be really cool and we’re both avid outdoor people. And there’s also a submarine ride you can take, they leave around the clock from this little village off-shore and it’s supposed to be so wonderful and romantic!”
Something pulls inside of her, and suddenly her head is filled with flashes of a dock beneath her feet and blue and green and the sound of laughing and someone sitting next to her, hair falling in his face, a grin that makes her feel safe and warm.
“Come on. Just give me two weeks. That’s all I’m asking. Two weeks.”
Juliet blinks, and the memory vanishes. Her friend is still going on about romantic honeymoon getaways, but she’s no longer listening. She’s instead staring out the window and noticing how the moonlight glints off the trees. It’s the middle of the night and it seems as though the outside world is suddenly too quiet.
-
Juliet’s on her hands and knees, peeling back thick black tarp. She doesn’t really want to open the pool this year - for some reason, a seemingly endless vat of water and a hole in the ground makes her feel uneasy and almost a little scared. Juliet’s never liked the fact they had a pool in the first place but she knows it’s important to David, and this is the first year Jack hasn’t been around to help out, and so she’s trying her best to please him.
“Mom?”
She turns in place, sees David standing against the screen door. His hair is falling over his eyes, and he’s staring at her with a wide-eyed look, slightly concerned. “There’s a guy at the door that’s asking for you.”
Juliet furrows her brow and gets up, wiping her wet hands against her jeans, glad for a break from the activity she considers close to her worst nightmare.
“Thanks, buddy. I got it.”
Passing a quick but reassuring smile, she moves through the house until she reaches the entryway. She rounds the corner, her hand readying to reach the door handle but finds that she doesn’t need to. The door has been left open, revealing a tall man on the other side of the threshold. His leather jacket is fitted almost exactly to his upper body, and his long blonde hair falls in waves around his stubbled chin.
“Whatever happens, I got your back, remember?”
Something about him is so vaguely familiar, but Juliet knows she’s never had any encounter with any kind of cop in her life.
“Hello…Mrs. Carlson? My name’s Detective Ford with the LAPD. I was wondering if I might have a few moments of your time.”