(no subject)
soo...thursday night i really had a hard time sleeping. I finally started to drift away and then the fucking door kept slamming. then some asshole is in my living room yelling at my roommate through her bedroom door. what the fuck. it was fucking 4am. A. why is it so fucking hard for this girl to lock the god damned door when she comes home? she locks her fucking bedroom door as if i'm the one to worry about. B. why does this asshole think its ok to walk into our apt at 4am? On top of that, he has to fucking scream and slam doors. if I had been decently clothed I'd have gotten my ass out of bed and said something to him. I CANNOT WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
Tonight was really uneventful. Had dinner w/ Sarah and kinda hung out here w/ her and scott for a while. I was just so damn tired all day I really did not feel like getting ready. Plus I can't drink anywhere and i'm tired of fucking standing around and watching. Makes me feel like a jackass. 24 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then I won't have to worry about it anymore. I'm going to get totally fucked up at my friends bachelorette party that weekend. I may not be sober the entire week.
I'm regretting signing up for Special Olympics. I'm supposed to be there at 8. After that's over I'm going to head down to Houston, drop the dog off, hang out with my mom and maybe ashley for a little while, and then go to Galveston for Adopt-a-Beach. I wish I didn't have to drive by myself but I can't bring anyone home on Sunday so I can go to the bridal shower.
Sometimes I wish I were getting married. Not that I'm like hungry for a wedding or anything, I mean I am, but like a friend's wedding so we can all get drunk and act foolish. I think it would just be nice to have that settled. Don't have to worry about dating or any of that crap. I like to have a plan. Uncertainty pisses me off sometimes. I hate fucking indecisive people. Like when you ask someone to do something with you and they give you that bullshit like "well maybe. let me see what's going on." I just want to tell those ppl fine then, fuck you. If I'm going to be your back up plan you can kiss my ass. I'll do it by my fucking self or find someone better. I want to know what I'm doing so i can have a plan....I can't plan around "maybe" fuck maybe. you either want to do something or you don't. I have a large number of friends that are just horrible about that kind of shit. And then, after that crap, if they decide to do whatever it is I asked, there's like a 54.7% chance they'll change their fucking mind at the last minute. Because, why should they have to do somethign they don't want to do? Because you said you would that's why! When I tell people I'll do whatever I do it. I may not feel like it, or want to do it, but I do it anyway. Especially thigns like concerts and games that require tickets and notice and shit.
None of that had anything to do with dating or marriage but I just kinda went with it. But yea, I'm not a dating person. I'm all about finding someone that interests me, makes me laugh, is half decent to look at and won't wake up in 5 years and realize that he could do better. I'm not into all the drama and fucking around. I don't meet many men that interest me anyway. At the moment there's only really 2 that I find particularly appealing. I still fear I'm going to end up the scary old lady though....or worse, like my sexually frustrated, middle aged, never married, french teacher Mlle. Scoggins. She had some pent up rage going on. I probably would too. Fuck that, I do and I'm only 20 (almost 21!!). I can't imagine what its like at like 40 something. scary thought. I had better find someone to take advantage of on my birthday when I'm too drunk to care b/c its been a while....
Tonight was really uneventful. Had dinner w/ Sarah and kinda hung out here w/ her and scott for a while. I was just so damn tired all day I really did not feel like getting ready. Plus I can't drink anywhere and i'm tired of fucking standing around and watching. Makes me feel like a jackass. 24 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then I won't have to worry about it anymore. I'm going to get totally fucked up at my friends bachelorette party that weekend. I may not be sober the entire week.
I'm regretting signing up for Special Olympics. I'm supposed to be there at 8. After that's over I'm going to head down to Houston, drop the dog off, hang out with my mom and maybe ashley for a little while, and then go to Galveston for Adopt-a-Beach. I wish I didn't have to drive by myself but I can't bring anyone home on Sunday so I can go to the bridal shower.
Sometimes I wish I were getting married. Not that I'm like hungry for a wedding or anything, I mean I am, but like a friend's wedding so we can all get drunk and act foolish. I think it would just be nice to have that settled. Don't have to worry about dating or any of that crap. I like to have a plan. Uncertainty pisses me off sometimes. I hate fucking indecisive people. Like when you ask someone to do something with you and they give you that bullshit like "well maybe. let me see what's going on." I just want to tell those ppl fine then, fuck you. If I'm going to be your back up plan you can kiss my ass. I'll do it by my fucking self or find someone better. I want to know what I'm doing so i can have a plan....I can't plan around "maybe" fuck maybe. you either want to do something or you don't. I have a large number of friends that are just horrible about that kind of shit. And then, after that crap, if they decide to do whatever it is I asked, there's like a 54.7% chance they'll change their fucking mind at the last minute. Because, why should they have to do somethign they don't want to do? Because you said you would that's why! When I tell people I'll do whatever I do it. I may not feel like it, or want to do it, but I do it anyway. Especially thigns like concerts and games that require tickets and notice and shit.
None of that had anything to do with dating or marriage but I just kinda went with it. But yea, I'm not a dating person. I'm all about finding someone that interests me, makes me laugh, is half decent to look at and won't wake up in 5 years and realize that he could do better. I'm not into all the drama and fucking around. I don't meet many men that interest me anyway. At the moment there's only really 2 that I find particularly appealing. I still fear I'm going to end up the scary old lady though....or worse, like my sexually frustrated, middle aged, never married, french teacher Mlle. Scoggins. She had some pent up rage going on. I probably would too. Fuck that, I do and I'm only 20 (almost 21!!). I can't imagine what its like at like 40 something. scary thought. I had better find someone to take advantage of on my birthday when I'm too drunk to care b/c its been a while....