My life is at a stand-still and i don't like where I am standing...
Nothing feels right this week. I lost all motivation. Sean is back working and I am doing nothing. I have long term goals, but they seem so out of reach. I still haven't register to take my state boards.. I told everyone while i was in school that as soon as i graduated i would be taking them, so why have i still not signed up to take them? Maybe because then i will have to actually go do it, and maybe i wont pass. Or maybe because I am scared that I failed again at my second attempt to figure out a career. Maybe i just can't handle the "i told you so's." maybe i am just in a strange point in my life. That inbetween stage when i don't feel at home at my parents place, but i feel like i am invading Sean's place. I need a home. I need a job. I need some reassurance. I need to not have to make important decisions for a week and not feel guilty about doing so. I'm so restless at night that I keep Sean up. Maybe I just need my kitty to curl up on my lap, but instead I think I have to put her down this evening. Right now, I need to just not think about this because i'm going to cry, and we all know that never solves anything...