(no subject)
The difference between writing when you feel like it and writing when you have to is the difference between an angel on your shoulder and a ton of bricks on your head. I'm late to the party on this one. I realize. But I just "finished" my first story for my creative writing class, and what astounds me is the sheer amount of effort it took to produce something so incredibly crappy. It's a story about nothing. It has no point. The dialog is soggy and the narration is dry. The ending is weak, there's no emotional weight behind any of the proceedings, the characters are completely unlovable and unrealistic. As a story, it makes a good paper towel. I wrote it though, on time, and maybe someday it will be something good and maybe someday it won't, and either of those would be okay.
It's really easy to buy into the romance and the mystique of being a Writer, and of the torturous self-doubt, jealousy, and immaturity that often involves. I fully admit that I have done it. But. . .there is nothing romantic or mystical about this. I've never had to write regularly before without prompts, but that is what writers do. If I can do this, no matter how crappy what I write is, I can be a writer. The pain and the anxiety will, I suspect, be good friends of mine, but maybe sometime there'll be some fulfillment maybe and I'll tell the stories I want to tell. I have to write, and I have to believe that whatever I write is okay to have written, and I have to believe that my style will be a good one if I stick with it.
This is good. This is wanting to go to the moon and then getting grunt-level training at NASA. This is wanting to be a ballerina and then putting on the toe shoes that make you bleed.
It's really easy to buy into the romance and the mystique of being a Writer, and of the torturous self-doubt, jealousy, and immaturity that often involves. I fully admit that I have done it. But. . .there is nothing romantic or mystical about this. I've never had to write regularly before without prompts, but that is what writers do. If I can do this, no matter how crappy what I write is, I can be a writer. The pain and the anxiety will, I suspect, be good friends of mine, but maybe sometime there'll be some fulfillment maybe and I'll tell the stories I want to tell. I have to write, and I have to believe that whatever I write is okay to have written, and I have to believe that my style will be a good one if I stick with it.
This is good. This is wanting to go to the moon and then getting grunt-level training at NASA. This is wanting to be a ballerina and then putting on the toe shoes that make you bleed.