(no subject)

[andhereidreamt]

well im starting to feel a little seclusive again. its been awhile and a long while coming. i havent drank all week or gone out and partied and its nice. ive been really sleepy. i feel like ive been tired all the time for months now. i thought it was from too much socializing but as it turns out.. when the socializing stops the sleeps keep coming. so what can i pin point here? im getting sad. no reason really. it just comes and goes and without any sort of warning. maybe i should have just stayed on the medication and stayed at some sort of equilibrium? havent been smoking.. working on quitting.. i think im there.. just about to the point of im never going to have another cigarette for the rest of my life. ive had this list of to dos for about 2 months now.. maybe not quite that long.. pay citation.. pay parking ticket.. do laundry.. clean out closet..pay off credit card.. pay off random 600 dollars in collections.. questionable? i think its from ballys from years ago even though i totally faught that since i never signed up as a member anyways.. ughhh. pay off other failed gym attempt.. loose weight.. going hand in hand with lack of attending gym thus pay off.. get tan.. create clutter free environment.. vacation. none of which are coming easy. in fact, i got a letter today stating that my license is suspended although i spoke with the woman at the courthouse who told me i had until june 6th to pay my citation in full.. i also have a letter stating the same so im a bit confused.. i need to stop getting in tiffs with the law.. they always win.. home is hot.. swamp coolers arent really the same as air conditioners.. its a clever trick. im bummed overall. it sounds so easy to get everything done.. but day after day i come home with the drive to check off everything on my list.. and end up falling asleep and starting the day all over again.

on the plus side. i finally get my new car next week. hopefully all this gets sorted by then.