I'm bad at golf
At Packachog Golf Course, you are in danger if:
- I'm at the first hole, and you are in the back yards of anybody who lives along the left side of the hole or you are on the 9th fairway.
- On the second hole, and you are a woodland creature, hitting off the 8th tee, in the rough before the fairway on the 9th.
- At the 3rd, you are on the 5th, 7th, 6th, or 9th fairways.
- 4th, you are driving past the golf course, teeing off on 5, putting on 3.
- 5th, another woodland creature or you are on the 3rd fairway, or you are a bird in the trees on the left.
- I'm at the sixth, and you are on the 5th, 7th, 9th fairways.
- I'm at the seventh, and you are on the 5th, 9th, or 6th fairways.
- I'm on the 8th, and you're on the 9th fairway, first green, second tee.
- I'm on the 9th, and you are in the clubhouse, on the 8th tee, the bunker and fairway on the 7th, the first fairway, the street, a half-built McDonalds, Dicks Sporting Goods, behind a dumpster in a back alley in New York, a pool in Oxford, a yacht in the Pacific, a low flying airplane, running around the track, typing a livejournal entry, the Horgan rink, a closet on the first floor of a rent controlled apartment, Hogwarts, other fictional places, most real places except for wherever I want it to go.
Basically, the only safe place to be when I'm on the golf course is on the fairway I'm hitting at, and the hole. Because Lord knows, you'll have plenty of time to get out of the way before it gets there.
Life is good when golf is my largest complaint.
- I'm at the first hole, and you are in the back yards of anybody who lives along the left side of the hole or you are on the 9th fairway.
- On the second hole, and you are a woodland creature, hitting off the 8th tee, in the rough before the fairway on the 9th.
- At the 3rd, you are on the 5th, 7th, 6th, or 9th fairways.
- 4th, you are driving past the golf course, teeing off on 5, putting on 3.
- 5th, another woodland creature or you are on the 3rd fairway, or you are a bird in the trees on the left.
- I'm at the sixth, and you are on the 5th, 7th, 9th fairways.
- I'm at the seventh, and you are on the 5th, 9th, or 6th fairways.
- I'm on the 8th, and you're on the 9th fairway, first green, second tee.
- I'm on the 9th, and you are in the clubhouse, on the 8th tee, the bunker and fairway on the 7th, the first fairway, the street, a half-built McDonalds, Dicks Sporting Goods, behind a dumpster in a back alley in New York, a pool in Oxford, a yacht in the Pacific, a low flying airplane, running around the track, typing a livejournal entry, the Horgan rink, a closet on the first floor of a rent controlled apartment, Hogwarts, other fictional places, most real places except for wherever I want it to go.
Basically, the only safe place to be when I'm on the golf course is on the fairway I'm hitting at, and the hole. Because Lord knows, you'll have plenty of time to get out of the way before it gets there.
Life is good when golf is my largest complaint.