"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."
I can't believe this is happening. I feel like I'm drowning and there's no air in sight.
There has to be a reason for this, there just has to be. All I know is that I'm upset because all I can see when I look at him is imaginary tubes and machines hooked up to him. I'm angry because this had to happen. I'm frustrated because there's nothing I can do and no one to turn to without burdening someone. I could drink until I pass out, but tomorrow would just bring a hangover and the same disturbing thoughts from the night before. I don't need anyone's worthless words or sympathies. I want someone to tell me why.
There's only a brief window when I'm ready to talk about this, and already I feel like I can't talk about it at all. It's just as well. If I let it out it won't stop.
I refuse to bury my little brother. He's going to outlive me, if I can help it. I hope God is listening right now, because I refuse. I won't have it.
There has to be a reason for this, there just has to be. All I know is that I'm upset because all I can see when I look at him is imaginary tubes and machines hooked up to him. I'm angry because this had to happen. I'm frustrated because there's nothing I can do and no one to turn to without burdening someone. I could drink until I pass out, but tomorrow would just bring a hangover and the same disturbing thoughts from the night before. I don't need anyone's worthless words or sympathies. I want someone to tell me why.
There's only a brief window when I'm ready to talk about this, and already I feel like I can't talk about it at all. It's just as well. If I let it out it won't stop.
I refuse to bury my little brother. He's going to outlive me, if I can help it. I hope God is listening right now, because I refuse. I won't have it.