(no subject)
I don't remember hearing "No one is perfect" for the first time. It was FAR too long ago. Why then, when I've heard this phrase pretty much all my life, am I still disappointed when I realize that no one is perfect? Why do I get angry at the imperfections and even sometimes at the imperfect being itself when I'm telling myself that I'm being ridiculous for being angry while continuing to be angry?
I blame Cinderella. I've always loved fairy tales and have always pictured my life as a fairy tale. In fairy tales, people live happily ever after. Prince Charming never gets frustrated when Cinderella whines yet again about her years of misuse. Cinderella never chews out Prince Charming for failing to secure that deal with Japan. They never bicker about who will pay the carriage costs when Cinderella wants to go visit her cousins in Denmark. Prince Charming never disregards Cinderella's emotional outbursts and certainly never speaks harshly on his cell phone when she calls during his hunting trip. Cinderella never gets impatient with Prince Charming's obsessive attention to detail. None of this can ever happen in Cinderella's fairy tale because she and the Prince get married and then live happily ever after.
This ending, I'm convinced, became hugely popular because it's a trampoline for little girls' imaginations. There are no limits to what Cinderella and Prince Charming can be in their happily ever after. But what most little girls (and some idealistic and unjaded women) imagine are great adventures and tender, loving moments. When I was a little girl, the thought of adding conflict to happily ever after never crossed my mind. After all, it's just a simple three words that evoke simple, happy images.
And therein lies the deception. I grew up loving fairy tales, believing happily ever after, and expecting my life to be as simple and pleasant as the stories I saw in my mind. Nowhere in happily ever after are there money problems or disappointment or frustration or anger or unforseen obstacles or resentment. Nowhere did I ever fear abandonment or a bitter divorce or bankruptcy. Nowhere in my happily ever after was I not in control. Nowhere in my happily ever after did I wonder when my happily ever after was supposed to begin.
I suppose those are the reasons why Cinderella and her simple happily ever after make a great children's story. Art imitating life.
I often get angry at Cinderella and her friends Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, and Ariel. I find myself blaming them for my current constant state of discontent; after all, they all promise happily ever after, thus raising my expectations to a height that no real life can ever reach. The infuriating twists and unexpected turns, the really terrible horrible no good very bad days that make the really fantastic days that much better, the curses that turn out to be blessings with enough passage of time; such are the makings of real life.
Yes, Cinderella has caused me a lot of heartache. Still, it's pretty comforting knowing that when I close my eyes at night or for a moment at work, I've set my standards high enough that I'll never run out of things to dream about. Maybe the girl isn't such a bad role model after all.
I blame Cinderella. I've always loved fairy tales and have always pictured my life as a fairy tale. In fairy tales, people live happily ever after. Prince Charming never gets frustrated when Cinderella whines yet again about her years of misuse. Cinderella never chews out Prince Charming for failing to secure that deal with Japan. They never bicker about who will pay the carriage costs when Cinderella wants to go visit her cousins in Denmark. Prince Charming never disregards Cinderella's emotional outbursts and certainly never speaks harshly on his cell phone when she calls during his hunting trip. Cinderella never gets impatient with Prince Charming's obsessive attention to detail. None of this can ever happen in Cinderella's fairy tale because she and the Prince get married and then live happily ever after.
This ending, I'm convinced, became hugely popular because it's a trampoline for little girls' imaginations. There are no limits to what Cinderella and Prince Charming can be in their happily ever after. But what most little girls (and some idealistic and unjaded women) imagine are great adventures and tender, loving moments. When I was a little girl, the thought of adding conflict to happily ever after never crossed my mind. After all, it's just a simple three words that evoke simple, happy images.
And therein lies the deception. I grew up loving fairy tales, believing happily ever after, and expecting my life to be as simple and pleasant as the stories I saw in my mind. Nowhere in happily ever after are there money problems or disappointment or frustration or anger or unforseen obstacles or resentment. Nowhere did I ever fear abandonment or a bitter divorce or bankruptcy. Nowhere in my happily ever after was I not in control. Nowhere in my happily ever after did I wonder when my happily ever after was supposed to begin.
I suppose those are the reasons why Cinderella and her simple happily ever after make a great children's story. Art imitating life.
I often get angry at Cinderella and her friends Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, and Ariel. I find myself blaming them for my current constant state of discontent; after all, they all promise happily ever after, thus raising my expectations to a height that no real life can ever reach. The infuriating twists and unexpected turns, the really terrible horrible no good very bad days that make the really fantastic days that much better, the curses that turn out to be blessings with enough passage of time; such are the makings of real life.
Yes, Cinderella has caused me a lot of heartache. Still, it's pretty comforting knowing that when I close my eyes at night or for a moment at work, I've set my standards high enough that I'll never run out of things to dream about. Maybe the girl isn't such a bad role model after all.