(no subject)
I'm about to buckle under stress. Insane amounts of stress. The kind of stress that caused the infamous incident in Jan '05.
The scoop:
I thought for a few days that money would be fine and would work itself out. Since then, about 5 new $100 or more situations have presented themselves and I am broke. BROKE. What makes it worse is that what should be an enjoyable vacation to Virginia and Washington DC on Wednesday is worsening the problem- if I'm not at work, I'm not bringing in a paycheck. If I'm not bringing in a paycheck, I remain broke. If I remain broke, I can't pay rent/water/gas/electric/phone/trash/car/loan bills. If I can't pay said bills, bad things happen. I don't recall a time ever during which stress actually made me nausious.
To add to the above, my manager offered Amber a deal to get her to stay at Payless: remain a FT employee, a raise, and all Sundays off. Great for Amber, sickening for me because MY promotion and MY raise, upon which this whole apartment deal depends, came about with Amber's vacancy. I am terrified that I will be bumped back down to my former position, hours, and pay, and there is simply no way that I can afford the apartment life under such circumstances. This wouldn't really be that big of a deal except that we've signed the lease already and I am under contract until next February.
And the icing on the cake- Wimbledon starts tomorrow. Roger plays the very first match of the slam on Centre Court at 1 pm London time, 6 am my time. I can't wait to watch him. But our TV broke last week and my dad doesn't know how to record off of the dish yet. I asked Jason to record Roger's matches for me while we are on our trip, but I wasn't really planning to have him begin until we left- I figured I could easily record the first round myself. With this assumption came the, I fear, too-late panicked email to Jason to please record the first round as well... but I'm afraid that he will not see my email until Roger's match is a mere memory.
My family went to church together this morning and the sermon brought back a flood of memories about my grandma and her funeral. Like all good Lutherans, I remained stoic, but I fought tears throughout.
I am overwhelmed.