Avast! Is that truth off the starboard side?
This reporter must admit something before continuing, or rather, starting with this story. He has not been entirely truthful with you, his loyal readers. It is only for the necessity of the safety of all involved, and consequently the world that I, your beloved Anderson, have kept this information quiet; until its sweet truth-nectar could fully ripen into fruition.
But now is the time to juice. That's right!
This journalist spent much of his summer (minus the time his family had to go to Scandinavia to visit his grammy-gram) undercover, visiting -- nay! -- infiltrating Muggle youth gatherings and soaking up the truthiest of Muggle youth culture. Beware, dear reader, the following shocking information may indeed shock you.
It seems an awful concoction of hideousness mixed with more than a pinch of diabolical obnoxiousness has seeped into every crevice of nightclubs, pubs, and teenagers' record players.1 They call it "Disco".
And how has this "Disco" (if that's even its real name) come to be so necessary in these poor Muggles' lives? The answer comes here, in the next paragraph.
Yes! It's true! You-Know-Who and his band of followers2 have been trying to break down the boundaries between Muggles and their knowledge of Wizards to incite chaos, and thus, win them the war. Many potential solutions were tried by officials; all failures. Things were getting out of hand. Then, suddenly, salvation came along for the worried.
No one can quite pinpoint who created "Disco" (or no one wants to own up to it), but it somehow made it on the testing list. The rest is history. "Disco" scrambles the brains of Muggles just slightly enough that they forget the more "unbelievable" things in their lives; for instance: all things Wizard and Wizard related.
So rest easy tonight, sleepy ones, for as long as there is "Disco", our world is "safe". Too bad for some that Disco is awful, eh?
1A Muggle device that enables Muggles to play music, basically. You've seen them, you just don't know it.
2Whose favorite dish is rumored to be dead things, such as meats or plants, by the way. Yes, they're that tough. They eat death.