More Pet Peeves - Marriage
Something which really exasperates me is how up to the day loads of writers (and not just female ones) end stories involving a couple in love: marriage.
Our societies, pretty much worldwide, document how real people have begun to turn from marriage being patriarchal, parochial and usually way too restrictive for the majority if them. Unless you are a lesbian or gay couple (then marriage is the latest chic), people have turned from the institution and are seeking different ways to express that they wish to stay together. Marriage rates have dropped drastically in some countries, from 80% a mere 60 years ago to not even a full 25%. Way more than 50% of all children are born outside of matrimony in some states and areas, the numbers are sharply rising as well. And we have divorce rates, even of aged couples, of well above 50%.
But fanfic writers marry their protagonists off.
The female can have a classy job, she may be self-sufficient, her income huge enough to support the extra taxes, she may be smart, and independent - and still she will be married off. The relevant guy may be a divorce survivor (and really badly burned by it), he may have a job so not geared to keep a wife happy, he may be smart and reluctant- and still he will be married off.
Jeez!
I will not even go into how old-fashioned this world view is, or how steeped in yesterday inequalities, but I may point out that in our day and age, when only 1 out of 4 women or men still marries at all, it is pretty unrealistic to marry lovers off. I also may point out how boring this is. There's nothing saying that romance needs a marriage (people can quite romantically live with each other, move together, stay with each other). And there are so many variants of dealing with how lovers deal with each other other than by marrying.
Whenever I notice that a fanfic including some romance heads for marriage, you can be sure that I will start to yawn. Not that there are not couples who absolutely would want or need to marry, but then those would be protagonists I rarely am interested in at all.
People, please try to be less predictable and above all way more realistic!
Our societies, pretty much worldwide, document how real people have begun to turn from marriage being patriarchal, parochial and usually way too restrictive for the majority if them. Unless you are a lesbian or gay couple (then marriage is the latest chic), people have turned from the institution and are seeking different ways to express that they wish to stay together. Marriage rates have dropped drastically in some countries, from 80% a mere 60 years ago to not even a full 25%. Way more than 50% of all children are born outside of matrimony in some states and areas, the numbers are sharply rising as well. And we have divorce rates, even of aged couples, of well above 50%.
But fanfic writers marry their protagonists off.
The female can have a classy job, she may be self-sufficient, her income huge enough to support the extra taxes, she may be smart, and independent - and still she will be married off. The relevant guy may be a divorce survivor (and really badly burned by it), he may have a job so not geared to keep a wife happy, he may be smart and reluctant- and still he will be married off.
Jeez!
I will not even go into how old-fashioned this world view is, or how steeped in yesterday inequalities, but I may point out that in our day and age, when only 1 out of 4 women or men still marries at all, it is pretty unrealistic to marry lovers off. I also may point out how boring this is. There's nothing saying that romance needs a marriage (people can quite romantically live with each other, move together, stay with each other). And there are so many variants of dealing with how lovers deal with each other other than by marrying.
Whenever I notice that a fanfic including some romance heads for marriage, you can be sure that I will start to yawn. Not that there are not couples who absolutely would want or need to marry, but then those would be protagonists I rarely am interested in at all.
People, please try to be less predictable and above all way more realistic!