The Entirely Superfluous Condom
After reading four professionally written m/m stories over December and finishing a fifth just now, plus slash galore on A03 within the Yuletide collection, I'm kind of going huh? by now.
Yes, all the writers are quite obviously younger than I am, but I didn't think that makes HIV a different beast than it is. I even checked on the current state of art where it comes to infection and how to avoid that. And - really - no, nothing major has changed, it's still the same as when I last made myself aware of how to have safe sex.
Soooo...
They all seem to have this curious rule of having to cover penises in condoms for insertive intercourse wherever and whatever the partners, but then go ahead and have so much unsafe other sexual activities than penetration, that it by now begins to give me the willies (after it was funny for a while).
It's clearly not just the ejaculate which may transmit HIV when injected up an arse or a vagina, it is ejaculate and precome being swallowed, lipped, hitting other mucous membranes, like the eyes for instance with a facial shot, and for the BDSM aficionados also abrasions of the skin (yes, bloody cane or whip welts indeed are open wounds!). It's also not just come which does the infection trick, it's also female lubrication and ejaculate and blood itself, so, hello everyone!, cunnilingus is definitely a risky behaviour, as is fellatio, as long as no condoms and dental dams are used and bloodplay requires strict care against infection too.
So why the heck would an author first describe at great length some BJ which ends with come being shot into the face or down the throat of someone, and then proceed with anal intercourse with a condom? Is that arse going to get pregnant? Not to speak of all this ending often enough with upending the condom and ingesting the content (or the smearing already described). And yes, of course rimming without a dental dam is also a risky business! Not just for the e-coli, but also for HIV. As is using spit as a lubricant, not just because it lubricates badly, but because it also contains a lesser but available risk of transmitting STDs and even HIV, especially if you just brushed your teeth. Shooting a load across a bloody, previously whipped raw back or butt is also not something to do, if you want to play it safe. I'm also not just talking HIV, there are other rather inconvenient diseases, such as syphilis, herpes, chlamydia or hepatitis (C is a bugger as bad as HIV in its way!), which you very easily get from these practices.
So there.
Either you want to write two people being HIV-conscious and guarding against infection, then it is not just putting a condom on the peener for PIV or PIA, it is using dental dams for rimming/cunnilingus, it means condoms during fellatio, and of course it also means disposal of ejaculate along with said condom and without it coming into contact with any other mucous membranes (including such odd stuff as eyes, noses, mouths etc). Seriously all that. No yukky-ducky-squishy stuff to play bad sexy baddie.
And if you want open contact of fluids, you swallow the fact of writing badass barebacking, and all the criticism coming your way with it, or you make it clear that the people in question have been tested STD-free and are monogamous.
But - puhleaze - don't hold those in the know for stupid, and don't propagate things to be safe which aren't. I'm of a generation which lost far too many friends to HIV to take this entirely with humour. Yes, I know risks are not the same, b And in professional fiction (meaning the stuff which had an editor) this is really inexcusable. Tsk.
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/transmission.htm
Yes, all the writers are quite obviously younger than I am, but I didn't think that makes HIV a different beast than it is. I even checked on the current state of art where it comes to infection and how to avoid that. And - really - no, nothing major has changed, it's still the same as when I last made myself aware of how to have safe sex.
Soooo...
They all seem to have this curious rule of having to cover penises in condoms for insertive intercourse wherever and whatever the partners, but then go ahead and have so much unsafe other sexual activities than penetration, that it by now begins to give me the willies (after it was funny for a while).
It's clearly not just the ejaculate which may transmit HIV when injected up an arse or a vagina, it is ejaculate and precome being swallowed, lipped, hitting other mucous membranes, like the eyes for instance with a facial shot, and for the BDSM aficionados also abrasions of the skin (yes, bloody cane or whip welts indeed are open wounds!). It's also not just come which does the infection trick, it's also female lubrication and ejaculate and blood itself, so, hello everyone!, cunnilingus is definitely a risky behaviour, as is fellatio, as long as no condoms and dental dams are used and bloodplay requires strict care against infection too.
So why the heck would an author first describe at great length some BJ which ends with come being shot into the face or down the throat of someone, and then proceed with anal intercourse with a condom? Is that arse going to get pregnant? Not to speak of all this ending often enough with upending the condom and ingesting the content (or the smearing already described). And yes, of course rimming without a dental dam is also a risky business! Not just for the e-coli, but also for HIV. As is using spit as a lubricant, not just because it lubricates badly, but because it also contains a lesser but available risk of transmitting STDs and even HIV, especially if you just brushed your teeth. Shooting a load across a bloody, previously whipped raw back or butt is also not something to do, if you want to play it safe. I'm also not just talking HIV, there are other rather inconvenient diseases, such as syphilis, herpes, chlamydia or hepatitis (C is a bugger as bad as HIV in its way!), which you very easily get from these practices.
So there.
Either you want to write two people being HIV-conscious and guarding against infection, then it is not just putting a condom on the peener for PIV or PIA, it is using dental dams for rimming/cunnilingus, it means condoms during fellatio, and of course it also means disposal of ejaculate along with said condom and without it coming into contact with any other mucous membranes (including such odd stuff as eyes, noses, mouths etc). Seriously all that. No yukky-ducky-squishy stuff to play bad sexy baddie.
And if you want open contact of fluids, you swallow the fact of writing badass barebacking, and all the criticism coming your way with it, or you make it clear that the people in question have been tested STD-free and are monogamous.
But - puhleaze - don't hold those in the know for stupid, and don't propagate things to be safe which aren't. I'm of a generation which lost far too many friends to HIV to take this entirely with humour. Yes, I know risks are not the same, b And in professional fiction (meaning the stuff which had an editor) this is really inexcusable. Tsk.
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/transmission.htm